"When did you know you were in love with me?"
He nodded, staring down at our hands as his fingers laced with mine. "When I walked into that hospital room and you looked at me for the first time, I was done." He looked up at me then, and I knew exactly what he meant because when I saw him that night, I couldn't breathe having heard that voice before and seeing that face in my mind. "Then you smiled and wrecked me."
The warmth of his touch through my tank top served as a reminder that I wasn't alone. Never again, I was sure of that.
"The night I left for Chicago, this was the last place I went," I said, pointing to the ball field where I'd spent nearly every day with Andrew growing up. I looked up at the sky and felt it for the first time. They were watching over me. They brought me this all-heart boy to show me I still had someone to live for. I had enough heart for all three of them right here in Evan Masen.
"There's times when I feel a shiver, and suddenly I remember every detail about them. Then there's times where I can't remember what they look like, and it scares me to think someday their memory will be gone."
"It won't." He tapped my chest again and winked. "They're right there."
Evan was right. It wouldn't. They would forever be in my heart.
I took Evan around Lebanon and visited my grandmother, my only living family besides my aunts and uncles that I avoided. After my parents died they all wanted me to live with them, forced it actually, but it wasn't what I wanted. Legally speaking, my grandmother was my guardian until I turned eighteen. When I told her I needed to leave, she understood and never asked questions. It had to have been hard for her that I left, and she didn't know what happened to me, but she understood why.
Evan enjoyed her. They talked for a while. She was a huge San Jose fan and asked about the fight between Evan and Dave.
Calmly and better than I expected, Evan told our story to her. He told her about finding me and staying with me and falling in love with me. The entire time he was telling the story, I just stared at him, entranced in the voice, yes, but captivated by the heart he put into the detail of how he remembered everything.
Until then, I had never heard him talk in detail about how he found me, what he witnessed and why he stayed. Now, hearing him tell it, I don't think I could have possibly loved him more after knowing what he did for me.
When we got back from Oregon, we went back to Pittsburgh to spend some time with his family. After the trip back to my hometown, I realized that wasn't where my family was any longer. I promised to keep in touch with the ones I had, but it was here, at this table in the Quaker Steak and Lube in Pittsburgh, surrounded by hockey players and Evan's family. That was my family now.
It was the middle of summer, late July, and I really shouldn't have been wearing a jacket but I was, intending on teasing Evan. I was wearing shorts and had this long gray jacket on over that. It looked odd now that I thought about it, and Evan noticed.
"Take your coat off," he said, looking over the menu. "It's hot in here. Aren't you hot?"
"Nah, I'm cold." I grinned coyly, keeping my eyes on the menu.
"Why's that? What you got under there?" he asked suspiciously, playfully pulling at the collar of my coat.
I unbuttoned the first button and then smiled. "Nothing…" I wasn't lying, I had nothing but the jacket and shorts on. No bra.
"Keep that fucking coat on." He smirked and shook his head, shifting in his seat and then draping his arm over the back of my chair. "This is almost as bad as you sleeping in my childhood bed."
"Why, are you turned on, Mase?" I felt like I had just scored the winning goal in overtime from the look on his face
"Hell yes I'm turned on," he informed me as he wrapped his arms around me and stroked the outside of my jacket, bunching the material between his fingers. "We need to leave." He went from telling me to keep the coat on to trying to rip it off.
I was pretty sure I choked on my own tongue, but I kept my cool. "Nah, I'm hungry."
Evan groaned, his head falling forward to rest against the table as his family showed up.
Evan seemed very agitated because of what I had done, so I decided I was going to be brave and try what Callie had said. Public indecency.
"We only have a few minutes," I whispered. "There's a bathroom down the hall."
"And I only need a few seconds."
His kiss was intoxicating as ever, lips moving so softly over mine with just the slightest hint of tongue. I felt my head spinning in a way that made me feel breathless, dizzy, but also just right.
"That's all, huh?"
Laughing, he bent to kiss my cheek. "What can I say, you do things to me. Good things. Dirty things." He looked at his dad who'd just walked in. "We'll be right back."
"Yeah, sure." Sam said, rolling his eyes.