My hands clenched at the thought.
I was pissed. I wanted to find the guy and kill him. I wanted him right here in this room so he could to see the damage he did. I wanted him to beg for his repentance and bleed right along with her.
Taking a seat before I fell over, I sat beside her and automatically reached for her hand that rested on top of the blanket. Gently, careful of the IV, I held it in mine. Her hand was so tiny it made mine look huge. Slowly, I lifted my head to her face. The chest tube was taped to the right side of her mouth, her lips swollen. My eyes were drawn to the large cut above her eye. She still had that was the thick white bandage around her head.
I looked away again, an angry growl emitting from me as I tried to not punch the fucking wall.
What the hell? I thought to myself. Why was I having such strong feelings about this?
I could feel the anger course through me in waves. One minute I would be fine, but the next, I wasn't, and my face would get hot, and I wanted to find the guy.
Shifting back and forth in the chair from nerves, I mumbled, "Hang in there, Ami." My thumb stroked her hand once before standing. While I intended on leaving, I couldn't. I sat back down until Wendy came back three hours later and told me the doctors would be making rounds soon and that I should leave. So I did, but not without one last glance, one I shouldn't have taken because it was a memory I would never forget.
When I got back to the waiting room, I couldn't leave. I just stood there watching the snow fall in the same spot I had when I started the day. Again, I thought about what would happen if she didn't make it?
"Hey, man." Leo came to stand beside me, his phone in hand, typing out a message. "Wanna get some food. It's Christmas."
Leo caught onto the look on my face and smiled. "Come on, head case. Maybe the cafeteria is open."
"I thought you were with Wendy?" I asked when we walked toward the elevators.
Leo looked over at me, his attention diverted from his phone as he ran a hand over his smirk. "I was. You were in her room for like an hour. I didn't need that long with Wendy. You saw those fucking legs, right?"
I let out an amused laugh but didn't answer.
"A man only has so much restraint, and besides..." He tucked his phone in his pocket when the elevator stopped and we walked to the cafeteria. "...You need someone tonight."
"I'm fine, Leo. You don't need to babysit me."
"I know. I want to be here with you." His eyes followed a tall redheaded nurse as she walked around the corner. "For a lot of reasons. Je-sus!" He shook his head. "Do they make it a rule in this hospital that you have to be smoking fucking hot?"
"No idea."
We ended up getting some food. None of it looked appealing, but we ate regardless. "What did you guys end up doing the other night?" I asked Leo, wondering how much trouble they got into when they went out after the Detroit game.
Leo groaned. "Man, it was a fucking disaster. Remy got into a fight with some asshole that was already roughed up when he got there. Remy pushed him and then I don't even know what happened to Dave and Travis. I ended up meeting up with them in the morning for a little while, but I can't remember half the shit that happened."
"When did you guys get home?"
"Four? I'm not sure. I met back up with Dave and Travis around seven. I think. They both looked like hell. I didn't realize they took so many licks in that game with Detroit, but man, both of them looked like shit. So do you, by the way."
I did look like shit. I knew that. I had no idea what I looked like but the memory of standing in the shower this morning, washing away an innocent girl's blood gave me an idea as to my appearance.
And then I thought about Ami, and nothing compared to what that girl went through, or what she was about to go through.
Game 37 – Nashville Predators
December 26, 2009
The morning was cold and dreary, which didn't help my mood, as I drove from my condo to the airport where we were set to catch a plane to Nashville.
Preparing for a game was all about routine, and for me it started early.
Before a home game, we had our morning skate at the United Center, followed by lunch. Then we went home. Some took naps while others just rested and mentally prepared themselves for the game. Usually I took a nap, but sometimes I would just lie there or watch TV.
Then we would head back to the arena for the game. After the game the guys would get together for dinner and drinks, not always, but most of the time. Away games were slightly different but mostly the same, aside from squeezing in travel and we weren't home ice.
The problem with my routine and my mood was that a fucking girl was wrecking it. A girl I hadn't even met. On one hand I was excited to get back on the road and play hockey, but on the other, I was a wreck because I had this girl in my head.
Worst of all, what happened to her haunted me.