“I just suddenly feel like you might think I’m a walking, talking STD. Juan didn’t do that part and never once with Michael without a condom. And I was never given drugs.”
“I want you to talk to me Myla, I want to know who you are and what you’ve been through, but I hate that you feel the need to say these things to me right now, in this moment. That you don’t know I see you, not him. It tells me you feel damaged, or tainted, when he is the one who is damaged and tainted.”
“I am-”
“No. You are not and all I was thinking about when I brought this up, was protecting you, and me being inside you. But in the midst of this, is still good news. When he’s gone, and he will be, you can wash him away.” I caress her cheek. “I want to be the man that washes him away for you. Will you let me be him?”
“Yes. Please. Be him, Kyle. Now. Tonight.”
“Then I’m going to make you remember what it’s like to not know what comes next and yet, know that it will be pleasure. Just pleasure. I’m going to turn you to face the wall.”
“Are you telling me, and then waiting for a reply to find out if I’m going to panic? Or say no?”
“Everything isn’t a test, Myla. This is just you and me. It’s pleasure. It’s getting to know each other’s bodies and as for “no”. You can say “no” to anything with me, now and always.” I don’t wait this time. I turn her, pressing her hands to the hard surface, mine on top of hers, my body framing her smaller, softer one. “What do you feel when I do this?”
“I’m not afraid.”
“I didn’t say you were afraid. I asked, what do you feel?”
“Warm all over.”
My hand goes to her belly. “Do you know what I want? I want to hold you like this, and have total trust.”
“I do trust you.”
“No. No you don’t and you can’t because trust takes time, but I’m going to make sure that we have that time.” I sweep the silky strands of her dark brown hair off her shoulder, lightly nipping the delicate skin, then licking the offended area. “What are you thinking now?” I ask, my hands leaving hers and cupping her breasts.
“How good you feel. How different.”
Different from him. Fucking Alvarez is still here. I turn her back around to face me, hands returning to her waist. “Sweetheart. No man likes to be compared to another. I’m here. You’re here. Just us.”
“I know,” she whispers. “I do.”
“I’ll believe you when I stop tasting him on your lips,” I say, my fingers slicing into her hair, my tongue licking into her mouth, tasting her hunger, her reserve that I reject, my cheek sliding to hers. “He’s still here,” I murmur, “but I’m going to fuck him away, and then I swear to you, I’m going to fuck him up so badly, he’ll cease to exist.” My lips find hers, caressing lightly, lingering. “He doesn’t get to be here tonight.”
Her fingers sink into my shoulders, her body swaying into mine. “I want him gone,” she breaths out. “You have no idea how much I want him gone.”
“I do know,” I say, leaning back to let her see the truth in my eyes. “I do understand what it’s like to pretend to be someone else to survive, but you don’t have to do that with me.” My fingers curve around her neck, tugging her mouth back to mine. “I’m going to make you feel exposed and show you how damn sexy vulnerability can be when you’re with me, when you’re safe. When all that matters to the other person, to me, is your pleasure, not mine.” And with that promise, I kiss her, my tongue licking into her mouth, in a silky, hot demand, meant to be a prelude to all the places I intend to lick, kiss, and tease.
Chapter Thirteen
Myla
Vulnerable. Exposed. These are things Michael Alvarez tried to make me, over and over and over again, but all he achieved was embarrassment, anger, and when I’d found a way to no longer feel fear, hate. Kyle promises these things now, but from him they are different. From him they taste like passion and promise. They taste like seduction. He kisses me like he’s savoring me, with slow, sexy strokes of his tongue, a taut need in him that says I’m his next breath he cannot live without. I feel like he is mine. I feel like I need him, like he is what I’ve needed for a very long time.