He closed his eyes. He was trembling now. He’d been trembling in the hospital when he’d looked up and seen her. He’d wanted her in that moment. Had wanted to lose himself in her body. Had needed some kind of valve for the pressure that had spiked in his head.
Pressure that was now ten times higher and spiking everywhere.
‘Thorne,’ she whispered. ‘Look at me.’
He didn’t want to. He wasn’t going to. But then she begged, ‘Please.’
He looked down into that beautiful face, and his breath caught. She wasn’t afraid. She was aroused, her eyes hot and snapping with desire. ‘Tell me,’ she demanded hoarsely.
‘God, I want you. I want to lay you down and . . .’ He shuddered, his body so hard that it ached.
‘And?’ She rolled her shoulders, easily escaping his hold because he’d kept it gentle. Even when he wanted her so much he thought he’d explode, he could keep his hands gentle. She stepped closer and he stepped back. Her mouth quirked up in amusement and she took another step closer. His giant step back put him up against the wall.
She took one more step and was plastered against him, her hands flat on his chest, rubbing up the fabric of his shirt. Her eyes were still hot and aroused. Her hands did not tremble.
She wanted this. Wanted him. ‘What, Thorne?’ she pressed. ‘Lay me down and what?’
His head dropped back, hitting the wall with an audible crack that he barely even felt. ‘I want to see you. I want to touch you. Every inch of you. I want to come inside you and then I want to come inside you.’ He whispered the last words and felt her shudder before becoming aware of small hands on the buttons of his shirt. Undressing him.
And then she had his shirt open and her lips were brushing his skin and he couldn’t breathe. ‘Please,’ he said, his eyes still closed, the words like gravel in his throat. ‘If you aren’t serious, stop now. You’re killing me.’
The click-clack of her shoes hitting her floor as she took them off was the only warning he got before she launched herself onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands automatically found her butt, his arms trapping her legs against his sides. She leaned in to kiss him, hard. Then she licked his lip. ‘Kiss me, Thorne.’
And then he was. He was kissing her and she was opening for him and it was everything he’d ever wished for. His tongue swept inside her mouth, tasting her, and she made a hungry noise deep in her throat.
Then she ripped away, breathing hard, her legs wrapped around his hips, her hands on his face. ‘This is what I want to happen,’ she murmured. ‘I want you to take me into the bedroom and do all the things you just said. But I don’t have any condoms.’
Frustrated disappointment hit him like a rogue wave. ‘Fuck.’
Her eyes managed to be aroused and serious at the same time. ‘I’m clean. I got tested obsessively after . . .’ She shook her head hard, as if flinging the thought away, then met his eyes squarely. ‘Are you? Clean, I mean?’
‘Yes. I’ve been tested twice in the last two years. Once for an insurance policy and then in the hospital on Sunday.’ He swallowed hard. ‘It’s been a long time for me, Gwyn.’
Her thumbs stroked his cheeks. ‘How long?’
He hesitated. ‘Four and a half years.’
Her eyes widened. ‘You . . . waited? For me?’
‘I didn’t want to. I wanted to get on with my life. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t walk away from you.’ A shiver rippled over his skin at the thought of burying himself inside her. ‘I might not last long.’
Her lips curved sweetly. ‘We’ve got time.’ Then she leaned in and kissed him again. They were halfway to her bedroom before he realized his feet had started moving. He finished the trip in a few big strides and set her down, so that she stood on the bed. From this angle, he was looking up at her.
And he loved what he saw. He touched her blouse. ‘Tell me I can take this off.’
‘You can take it all off.’
Hands shaking, he did. He slipped the blouse over her head, pressing kisses down her throat, between her breasts, so enticing in the lacy bra. He unhooked it with one hand and she laughed breathlessly.
‘I don’t want to know how you got so good at that,’ she murmured, then she was gasping and moaning as he pulled the bra away and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth.
He released her, pressing kisses between breasts that were more than a handful even for his big paws. ‘You’re so pretty,’ he said.
She blushed. ‘I want to see you.’
He held his arms out and she pushed the shirt from his shoulders, humming her appreciation. ‘You have the most beautiful skin.’ She dropped kisses across his pecs. ‘I saw you once,’ she confessed. ‘In the shower. At the club.’
‘I know.’ He unbuttoned her skirt, groaning when she stepped out of it, leaving her wearing only a tiny pair of black lace panties. He cupped her breasts, loving the feel, the weight. ‘I saw you watching me.’
Her eyes flew wide. ‘You’re lying.’
‘I would never lie to you.’ He grinned at her. ‘I was preening for you that day.’
She kissed her way from his cheek to his neck, her tongue stealing a lick. ‘It worked. I dreamed about what you looked like for months and months. I got a lot of mileage out of that one accidental peek.’ She pulled his belt loose. ‘Take off your pants. I don’t want to have to remember what you looked like. I want to see.’
His pants hit the floor a second later and she let out a long breath as she stared at the bulge in his briefs, which were at that moment cutting off his circulation. ‘Wow.’
Her fingers traced his length and he wanted to . . . Not yet. Let her lead this dance. There would be other times for him to take the reins. But not today.
He was jerked from the conversation with himself by her hands grabbing his waistband and yanking his briefs to his thighs. She followed them down, dropping to her knees on the bed. And then . . .
‘God,’ he barked. Because her mouth was on him, hot and wet and . . . perfect. ‘Please. Yes. Please.’ His hands went to her hair, but he wouldn’t let himself thread his fingers through it, wouldn’t let himself hold her head, wouldn’t urge her to go faster or deeper.
She pulled off his cock, licking her lips. ‘I’m not breakable, Thorne.’ She winked up at him. ‘I promise.’
He didn’t have a chance to ask her what that meant, because she was on him again and there was no way he could tell her to stop. There weren’t the words. But he wanted more than this. Wanted to feel what it was like inside her. So he picked her up and laid her on the mattress, then ripped the pretty black lace down her legs, revealing the trimmed patch of dark hair he’d only dreamed about.
He stood there for a moment, staring. And then she bent one knee, opening herself to him. His eyes flew to hers and she winked again. His brain short-circuited, and then he was on his knees on the floor, pulling at her legs until her ass was hanging off the mattress and his mouth was on her.
She made another hungry noise and undulated against his mouth in a rhythm that drove him crazy. He pulled away, shaking his head.
‘I want you to come when I’m inside you.’
‘Then hurry up,’ she said with a strangled laugh.
He dove onto the mattress, rolling to his back and pulling her upward and over, so that she straddled him. ‘I’ve thought about this a million times,’ he whispered. ‘I want you to ride me the first time. I want to see your face when I fill you up.’
Another one of those breathy moans escaped her throat. ‘Yes.’ Bracing her palms on his chest, she set her hips so that his cock was right there. At the entrance. But . . .
She was crying. Tears welled in her eyes and slipped down her face.
‘What?’ he whispered, panicked, because he’d rather die than hurt her. ‘We can stop.’ It might literally kill him, but he’d do it.
‘No. Don’t you dare stop. It’s just . . . I thought I’d lost this forever. This connection. I’m so glad it was you who brought me back, Thorne. Thank you.’ She leaned in to kiss him, and slid down so that the head of his cock slipped in.
Tight. And bare. ‘Never,’ he gasped. ‘Never done it like this.’
She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. ‘Me either. You’re so hot.’
That made him grin. ‘I know.’