I stayed in the bathroom, kneeling beside the bath. The taps were already running, but I could still hear what was going on in the next room.
‘Hello, Emily,’ said Lady Lavinia. ‘I do hope I’m not interrupting . . . Oh, you’re running a bath. I’ll come back.’
‘Nonsense, Jake, dear. Do come in. Armstrong will take care of it.’
‘She’s here? I’d really rather we were alone.’
‘It’s up to you, of course. I can send her on her merry way, if you wish. If you prefer to come back, I shall be but moments – I’ll be clean and scrubbed in no time. To tell the truth, though, I doubt she can hear us over all that running water.’
‘Very well,’ said Lady Lavinia. ‘It’s . . . Look, I’m not terribly good at this sort of thing. I’m not one of Nature’s dalliers and I . . .’
There was a moment or two of silence.
‘Do you think Harry could ever go for a girl like me?’ she gabbled.
‘Oh, Jake, you are silly,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘Of course he could. Haven’t you seen the way he’s been looking at you?’
‘Well, I was hoping . . . but he could be a cad, for all I know. He might look like that at any available woman.’
‘No, dear, he’s smitten. It’s true that we don’t see each other as often as we ought, but I’ve never seen him behave the way he does around you. He’s been engineering “chance” meetings all week. He hangs on your every word at the table. You must have noticed him showing off on the tennis court. He never puts that much effort into tennis. It’s all for you.’
‘Oh, I say. How splendid,’ said Lady Lavinia. ‘And you don’t mind?’
‘Mind? Why on earth should I mind?’
‘Well, he’s your big brother. I thought I ought to check. I feel terribly protective of Fishy. I’m sure I’d want a full account of any doxy making sheep’s eyes at him.’
‘Well, when you put it like that,’ laughed Lady Hardcastle, ‘I suppose I ought to be more concerned. Are you a doxy? And what are your intentions towards my brother?’
‘Entirely dishonourable, darling, especially now you’ve confirmed that I might not be embarrassed if I made them known.’
‘I should think you’re on to what the gambling fraternity refer to as a “sure thing” there, dear. And, though I’m not certain it’s my place to give it, you have my blessing.’
The bath was becoming alarmingly full, but I feared that if I were to switch off the taps, the conversation would end. I reached in to pull out the plug, keeping the taps running. It was stuck. Bath plugs never get stuck. I yanked fiercely at its chain, but it wouldn’t budge. I stood to get better purchase on the recalcitrant plug.
I’m not entirely certain what happened next. I’ve pieced it together from the reports of others, but my own recollections are hazy. The tiles were wet. The soles of my boots were smooth. I leaned against the edge of the bath and bent forwards to grab the bath plug’s chain. I gave one more mighty heave, and my feet slipped out from under me. I toppled forwards.
The next thing I knew I was lying on my back on the flooded bathroom floor. I was soaked through. My head was pounding. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I felt hands on my face.
‘Flo, dear?’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘Can you hear me?’
I tried to nod my head.
‘No, don’t do that,’ she said. ‘Try to stay still.’
‘I’ll call for the doctor,’ said Lady Lavinia. She sounded a long way off.
‘Thank you, dear, but I don’t think that will be necessary. It’s a nasty bump, but she’s had worse. Haven’t you?’
Even without her injunction against nodding my head, the resulting bolts of pain from the past attempt would have dissuaded me from trying it again. I raised my hand instead, and she squeezed my fingers reassuringly.
‘If you could help me to get her out of these wet things and into my bed,’ said Lady Hardcastle, ‘I’ll keep an eye on her to make sure there’s no lasting damage.’
‘Of course, of course,’ said Lady Lavinia.
Being capable, intelligent ladies – blessed as they were with the keenest minds, and having had the finest education available anywhere in the Empire – it took them almost half an hour to get me out of my wet clothes and into a warm, dry bed. By the time they were done, I was freezing cold and we were all exhausted.
Apparently, I smiled and said, ‘Don’t let that duck touch my books.’
‘Do please let me call Dr Edling,’ said Lady Lavinia when I was finally settled. ‘It’s really no trouble. He’s a charming old stick. He’ll be here in no time. It would reassure us all, I think.’
‘I think so, too,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘Thank you.’
‘I’ll be back in two shakes.’
‘There’s no need, dear. You join your guests for tea. Give them my apologies.’
‘Of course. Thank you. I’ll get cook to send you both something. Armstrong needs hot, sweet tea, at the very least. And perhaps some sandwiches. And cake.’
‘Brandy might help, too,’ suggested Lady Hardcastle.
‘Certainly. I’ll make sure there’s brandy, too.’
‘Tea will be fine, your ladyship,’ I said groggily.
‘It’s not for you, Flo, it’s for me. I’ve had a terrible shock. Lie still and don’t interfere.’
I could still hear Lady Lavinia laughing as she made her way down the passage to the stairs.
The doctor came and went. I was feeling much better by the time he arrived, but I submitted to his prodding, stethoscoping, and tut-tutting. Despite my protestations of my own robust health, he insisted that I rest. Lady Hardcastle decided there and then that I should stay in her bed.
And so I lay there, alternately dozing and fidgeting impatiently. Later, I heard Betty come into the room to help Lady Hardcastle to dress for dinner. She said it had been Mrs Beddows’s idea, but I suspected that the suggestion had actually come from Betty herself. Not only was Betty the kinder and more thoughtful of the two, she was also the one who would benefit more from spending a few minutes away from her usual place.
As they both left, Lady Hardcastle told me that Lady Lavinia had had another room made up for her so that she needn’t disturb me again before morning.
Betty returned a little later, bringing tea, some cake, and my copy of The Time Machine. We chattered inconsequentially until it was time for her to return to Mrs Beddows’s room to ready her for bed.
I read for a while once she’d gone, but, to my intense irritation, I found that everyone was right and that I really did need to rest. Betty had already switched off the light for me, so all I had to do was blow out my candle and snuggle down.
I slipped swiftly into a dream-filled sleep, in which Morlocks battled with an army of librarian ducks, and no one knew how to play croquet.