“How can you have faith after the way they’ve turned on you and done you?”
Shrugging, Thorn answered with the simple truth. “The testing of faith produces perseverance, and faith without action is worthless.”
Paimon shrieked in his face. “And so are you!”
*???*???*
“I’m not so sure about this spell of yours, Du.” Mara’s eyes widened as she saw the size of the raven he’d convinced to lift them up and carry them. “When you said we’d fly, I thought you meant without additional aid.”
He smiled at her. “Nay, my precious blodwen. But fret never. It’s not what you’re thinking. We couldn’t be in better talons. Trust me.”
Famous last words, that. She wasn’t sure if anyone could control something this large. And he refused to tell her exactly how he’d conjured this giant beast of a bird.
Even Belle appeared skeptical as they all gathered on deck to stare up at the fowl above them. With massive talons, it gripped the railings and lifted them through a sky as dark as the bird itself. Her heart pounding in fear, she clutched at the rope nearest her and gulped.
The wind from its wings whipped against them. Cool and pleasant over the heat, yet disturbing in that it was so unnatural.
William glanced over to Bart. “Thinking of feeding Roach to this beast as well?”
“How’d you guess it?”
“The expression on your face. You’re quite transparent.”
Roach passed a less than amused glare at the pair of them that forced Mara to press her lips together to keep from laughing. But she deeply appreciated their humor, given the severity of this, and her trepidation over it.
Only Duel seemed at ease. Damn him for that confidence. But then nothing ever seemed to rattle the beast.
Her heart in her throat, she tightened her grip. As if sensing her unease, Du moved to stand behind her. “It’ll be fine. I trust our raven.”
Problem was, she didn’t. How could she? She knew nothing of the creature or where it came from.
Worried, she turned toward Duel and the comfort he offered. Honestly, what she wanted most was to walk into his arms and have him hold her again. To bury her face against his chest and let the scent of his skin soothe her until it drove away the last bit of her fear and turmoil.
And still a part of her was scared to be so close to him, for he was every bit as dangerous to both her sanity and reason.
He met her gaze and frowned. “What?” The word was more a bark than a question, and that, right there, was part of her fear about this. He was ever unpredictable.
Swallowing, she glanced up at the bird, then down to the man who controlled it. “Have you ever been afraid?”
He reached to touch her hair, and hesitated as if he realized suddenly what he was doing and how many stood near enough to see. “Aye. Many times.”
She couldn’t imagine it. Not Duel. He was always so confident and in charge of himself. She’d never really seen true fear from him. Not like what other men showed. “Name me one time.”
“Every time I reach for you,” he whispered against her ear. “I’m terrified you’ll rebuff me.”
She started to scoff at his answer, until she caught the sincerity in those dark eyes. “How could you ever fear me?”
“I don’t fear you, Mara. I fear the power you hold that reduces me to your mindless servant.”
“You flatter me.”
“I only speak the truth. Had you ever once looked at me, you would have seen it plainly. Vine knew it, and it’s why I never held her full loyalty or her heart.” And with that, he stepped away to check on the others.
Tears welled in her eyes as she choked on the pain in her throat that his own anguished words had wrought. She wanted to call it a lie. To say he was playing her falsely and trying to weaken her.
She couldn’t.
Because in the back of her mind, she saw him as he’d been. The times their gazes had met over the years when they’d lived in Tintagel and he’d sobered as if someone had punched him. More than that, she remembered the way he’d rush to her side if she ever felt ill or needed something. Even leaving her sister during such instances.
Aye, it had infuriated Vine whenever he did such. Many times, she’d gone into a fetid rage at them both. Du had ignored her tirades and Mara had dismissed them as part of her sister’s unreasonable jealousy. It was ever part of Vine’s personality that she could become incensed over the smallest of things. So she’d thought nothing of it then.
But now …
Mara remembered the first time she’d appeared in Duel’s court after he’d brought her home with him.…
“She’s a Deruvian whore! I say we should get some entertainment from the wench for the trouble they’ve put us through! Let us all have a turn at the bitch! We’ve earned it for the blood we’ve lost.”
Duel had ruthlessly gutted the soldier faster than she could blink. Faster than anyone, even said gutted man, could anticipate. Indeed, he’d been in the midst of his next sentence when Duel had struck without warning.
His sword coated with the man’s blood while the poor man had gasped his last breath, Duel had glared at the gathered nobles and warriors inside his dark, somber hall. “Anyone else takes issue with the lady, they take issue with me. You will respect her and speak to her as if she were one of our own. And a queen, no less. Never let me catch anyone near her, for any reason, or else I’ll make you wish your own mother had gutted you the moment she made the mistake of whelping you.”
Mara had assumed those growled words were motivated by the fact she’d bound their lives together and he feared them killing her out of ignorance and spite, and ending his life in the process.
Now …
She winced as she realized how stupid she’d been. How unkind and selfish. But how could she have known he felt anything more than hatred for her, given what she’d done? That his protection of her had stemmed from something far more tender than his own self-preservation?
I’m such a fool.
Belle came up and touched her shoulder. “Let the past go, mum. ’Tis a fleeting shadow that can never be captured.”
“I’m so mad at myself, Lady Belle.”
“I feel that pain that lives in your heart, Mara. Think you there’s not a one here who isn’t a refugee from that monster called Past? On the surface, it appears we bartered our souls for another chance at freedom, but the truth is we’re all hoping to find something we can hold on to that will kill that beast inside us. Something to quell our guilt and conscience. That is what we’re hoping to salvage. Not our souls. Just our sanity.”
She squeezed Belle’s hand. “You’re a good friend. Much better than I deserve.”
“Nay. You never want to know what caused me to be damned, mum. Suffice it to say, I’m grateful the captain approved me pardon when Thorn offered him my service. Not many what would, given my crimes.” She glanced around to the others. “He sees more than you credit him with.”