Because she’d been angry and afraid.
Her heart pounding, she sat down on the bunk beside him and returned the ring to his finger. The last thing she’d ever do was separate him from this most precious piece of his sister. It was all he had left to treasure.
No sooner had she settled it back in place than he took a deep breath and groaned. When he started to thrash about, she placed her hands against his chest. “Easy, Duel. You’re injured. Do you remember what happened?”
With a fierce grimace, he glared at her. “You smacked me in the head with the mast and knocked me to the sprites.”
Leave it to him to remember that part.
“I also saved you from them.”
“You hit me first.” He rubbed his hand across his stomach and winced. “Are you here to finish me off?”
“Nay. I’ve been tending you.”
He scoffed rudely. “Really, why are you here?”
She’d be more offended and outraged by his doubt had she not earned his suspicion. “Answer me one thing first. Had I not bound our lives together, what would you have done with me that day we met in my nemeton?”
Devyl looked away, but she caught his cheek in a gentle grip that seared him all the way to his soul. How cruel it was that the only thing he’d ever craved was a tender touch from her.
And it was the last thing she’d ever give the likes of him.
Against his will, she turned his head until he was forced to meet her gaze. “I want the truth.”
“I wanted to kill you. Truth. When I first saw you, my only thought was that you’d be the perfect revenge for what they’d done. What they’d taken. To give back to them exactly what they’d done to my sister, in full brutal measure. But when I looked into your eyes and saw your fear, I knew I couldn’t do that to you. For I saw no enemy that day. Only a frightened girl who was brave enough to stand when she knew she had no way to defend herself. And it infuriated me that your own had left you there alone to face me while they ran to save their own arses, like the very cowardly dogs they all were. That was the renewed fury you saw inside me. First, they’d violated and desecrated my blood, then they’d cast you out for what they thought to be the same fate. I wanted them all for that. None of them deserved your loyalty. Or your noble sacrifice.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “And my sister? Why did you choose her for wife?”
Devyl ground his teeth at a question that burned even deeper. He didn’t want to open himself up for her rejection. She’d cut him enough and he was done with it. He was too old to play these games.
So he started to rise.
Mara held him fast. “Truth, Dón-Dueli … please? I want to know why you married Vine.”
That simple, innocuous question wrung the most excruciating wave of pain from deep inside his soul. He’d had mortal sword wounds to his gut that hurt less. He had no intention of ever speaking about such anguish. To anyone. Not for any reason whatsoever.
And yet the truth spilled out of his treacherous lips before he could stop it. “I wanted you and you wouldn’t have me. So I let her seduce me with words I knew were false. I felt her coldness every time she touched me.”
“Then why marry her?”
“She told me she was pregnant. I’ve never wanted anything more than the babe I thought she carried.”
Mara winced as she realized the lie. “She was never pregnant.”
“Something I suspected, but couldn’t prove. She played her hand well and then told me that she lost the child not long after we married. Then promised me that there would be others. A home filled with them. Even at the time, I doubted her words, but you loved her and so I let her stay.”
She laid her hand against his cheek as she stared into the torment that haunted those dark eyes. All he’d ever wanted was for someone to love him. To have the very thing that others took for granted. And her people and family had robbed him completely. “I’m so sorry, Du. Sorry for the lies my sister told. And sorry for what my people did to yours. For what they took from you, personally.”
“I don’t want your pity.”
“Good, because I don’t offer you any.” She toughened her voice with him, knowing he couldn’t abide insincerity or patronization. He was too strong for that. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.
“Then why this elaborate show?”
She snorted at him as she sank her hand in his tangled hair and balled her fist in the silken dark strands. “For such an incredibly smart man, you’re such an idiot.” And with those words, she pulled his lips to hers.
Devyl couldn’t breathe as he tasted the passion she offered. Tasted a desire that he’d never known before.
What fresh hell was this?
But he couldn’t think straight. Not while her tongue swept against his and she clutched at him with a hunger he’d never expected from her. Growling deep in his throat, he fisted his hand in her dress and pressed her body closer to his as he lost himself to a dream he didn’t want to end. How many times had he fantasized about holding her in his arms and having her in his bed? He’d tortured himself with this. Lain awake for hours on end, knowing he could force the issue, and yet refusing to ever hurt her because her heart meant so much more to him than his own base needs. Indeed, he would bleed just to see her smile.
A part of him hated that she had so much power over him. Hated that he couldn’t stop himself from caring. He’d tried so many times to purge her from his thoughts and heart. Nothing had ever worked. The more he attempted to carve her out, the deeper she seemed to sink into his soul. A never-ending madness.
Now this …
He was lost. And only she could anchor him.
Mara closed her eyes as she drank in the scent and taste of her irritating nemesis. And yet right now, she felt something so very different. Not an enemy, but rather a missing piece.
It made no sense. She should hate him. Despise every breath he drew.
And yet, for the first time ever, she didn’t hate him at all. Not even a little. This wasn’t a beast she held. He was a wounded man. One who’d been abandoned and betrayed by everyone he’d ever dared to let near him.
And when he pulled away, she saw vulnerability in his eyes. Never before had he shown that to anyone. He’d always been so steadfast and strong. Incredibly cocksure. No weakness of any kind.
He brushed his thumb against her lips. An action that sent chills down her spine. “What do you want from me, Mara?”
“I don’t know, Duel. Right now, I’m as confused as you are. I’ve spent so many centuries hating you that this concept of not … it leaves me at a loss. But I don’t want to hate you anymore. If you can find it inside yourself to forgive me, I should like to try for a new label.”
“And that is?”
She bit her lip as she considered it. If they weren’t enemies, then what were they? What was left?
“I’m not sure. Friends?”