He’d looked down into her terrified amber eyes as she stood so bravely and defiantly against him, and lost himself to her completely.
It was why he’d slept with Vine originally. While their coloring was different, their features were not. The two women could be twins but for their hair color, and oft at night, he’d closed his eyes and imagined Vine with hair of silvery white and eyes of amber. That she smelled of feathery roses and spice.
But in the end, Vine had been a cold substitution he’d used, hoping to drive Mara out of his thoughts. Hoping to purge the unholy craving he had for her from his heart.
In spite of it all, he was forever drawn to her. Against all sanity and reason.
All common fucking sense.
Like now.
Wincing, he closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Why not tell her at this point? Why continue the farce that had driven him to more madness than the curse her people had placed on his? It seemed ludicrous.
So he took a deep breath and finally spoke the single coveted truth that had lived inside him for countless centuries. “You remind me so much of my mother and sisters.”
“Pardon?”
He turned to lay his fingers against the coolness of her pale cheek. The softness of her skin reminded him of a fragile flower petal. The kind Elf used to make and line their beds with. “You’re a white oak. Me mother was a dera sylph.”
She let out a soft gasp as that unexpected news hit her. Her eyes widened as she stared up at him in utter disbelief. By her expression, he could tell that she didn’t want to believe him. That she wasn’t quite sure if he was being honest or trying to deceive. But this was one thing he’d never lie about. After all, it was the one thing he’d spent a lifetime denying and hiding with everything he had.
A dark secret he was entrusting to her alone.
“What?”
“Aye. Elm. She was designated as my father’s guardian when he left Alfheim to take his place as the leader of the Dumnonii. She was supposed to keep him grounded and stable. Never were they to marry.”
Because it was forbidden. A Druid-Aesir was never to touch his guardian Deruvian. They paid homage to them and set up nemetons for their honor and comfort.
Never were they to “know” or marry them.
Her breathing turned ragged as she continued to struggle with an impossible truth. Not that he blamed her. There were times when it was preposterous to him as well.
“That’s the secret of your power.”
He nodded. “Why no one could ever defeat me. I’m not just an Aesir, but Vanir and dark Adoni, too.”
Covering her mouth, she let out a ragged sigh as she finally appeared to accept it, even though her amber eyes were still troubled. “Did Vine ever know?”
“Nay. I’ve never told anyone.”
She arched both brows at that shocking declaration. And again, he couldn’t blame her. They were enemies, after all. Had been for countless centuries. “Why tell me?”
He let out a bitter laugh at a question that surely had to be transparent. “Don’t you know, Mara?” He took her hand in his and led it to his heart. His eyes faded to black.
Mara swallowed hard at the fierce beating of his heart beneath the palm of her hand. At the tender heat in his eyes as he watched her with an expectation she couldn’t even begin to fathom.
She was still reeling from his news. Reeling from this new side of him that she’d never known existed.
And now this?
It was more than she could cope with at once. More than anyone could handle. Honestly, she’d rather battle demons out to steal her soul than deal with these strange feelings that made no sense to her. Face down the real devil than think for one second that she might have tenderness for Devyl Bane—the scourge of her people. The creature who’d torn her world apart and left her with nothing and no one.
Nay, she hated him.
Aye, she did. She must remember that. Hold to that. It was the truth.
Was it not?
Determined to stay the course, she met his gaze unflinchingly. “You know there’s nothing but hatred between us, Du.”
A deep, heart-wrenching sadness darkened the shade of his eyes. “Aye.” Letting out a tired sigh, he lifted her hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss to her knuckles before he headed back to the main deck.
Mara didn’t move as she heard him calling orders to the others. As the sea rocked against her planks and she felt the motion of the waves.
And inside her body, she was as hollow as the ship itself. Hollow because she knew who the real beast was on board.
For once, it wasn’t Devyl Bane.
Remember, sister … you bring me Du’s heart and I will see to it that you’re set free to live out your life independent of the ties that bind you to his fate. I swear it.
While she wasn’t sure she could trust Vine, she knew she could trust in her sister’s hatred of her ex-husband. To get him in her clutches, there was nothing Vine wouldn’t do. And if there was one creature in existence who could undo the spell Mara had cast that united her life to Duel’s …
It was Vine. That was why she’d followed the demons away from the orphanage. Vine had promised Mara through the guise of the douen that she would free her.
For too long, Mara had been bound to him. Had been forced against her will to serve him as his helpmate and guardian. To give her blood and powers for his spells. This ship was a prime example. He’d sold his servitude to Thorn, then forced her to become this vessel to carry the lot of them and watch over his crew like some warden that they cursed her for.
She was done with it. It was time to take back her life.
Even if she had to end his to do it.
It’s the right thing to do and you know it in your heart.
But if that was true, then why did it hurt so much? And why did doubt plague her so?
11
Mara leaned her head against the boards as she allowed herself to merge with the wood and seek comfort there. While it wasn’t the same as being in a mother’s arms, it was the closest sensation she’d known since the day the winds had scattered her parents’ essence to the corners of the world, and allowed them to return to the universe that had birthed them.
Wanting … nay, needing to feel connected again, she touched the locket her mother had given her so long ago and allowed herself to freeze that way as buried memories tore through her.
So easily, she saw herself as a girl on that day in their small nemeton where they’d made their home. Saw her mother as she placed the locket around her neck and placed a tender kiss to her brow. “What is this, Mam?”
“That be your harthfret, precious.”
Scowling, she’d opened her locket to find the glowing and pulsating green kernel inside it. Similar to an acorn, it’d been unlike anything she’d ever seen before. The fire that held the rhythm of a heartbeat mesmerized her as it danced and glistened against her skin. With a child’s enthusiasm, she’d started to bite into it, but her mother had stopped her.
“Careful, Mara! That’s your life source you hold.”