Part of him wanted to tell her everything, but the other part wanted her to remain unaware of his past and of the pain they’d endured. She’d hurt for them, and the woman had hurt enough.
Yet he needed her to trust him, and she was so damn strong, she could handle it. “When Heath, Denver, and I were kids, we lived at a shitty home for boys where the proprietor liked to hit. He was a prick, and sometimes I have nightmares.” Ryker ran a hand down her hair and over her sweet back. “Sorry I woke you up.”
She caressed his chest. “I’m sorry about the boys home. Did the proprietor ever get caught?”
“Not really.” Ryker kissed the top of her head. “He died in a fire at the home, so he never really faced justice.” In fact, it had been way too swift. Either his bat or Heath’s had hit the guy’s temple, and it was suddenly over. Neither of them had meant to kill Ned, but he’d been dead before he hit the dirt floor. Denver had been the one to set the place on fire to cover their tracks long enough for them to get away.
They’d been running ever since. He figured the haunting nightmares were karma or penance or whatever.
“I’m so sorry, Ryker,” Zara said, leaning up to kiss his chin.
He relaxed into the bed, and his lungs finally released all the air. “I’m okay, sweetheart.” For the first time in so long, as he held his woman, he actually believed it. Then at her trust, at her acceptance, he told her everything, his heart pounding so hard it hurt. The entire story of his life, of meeting Heath and then Denver, and finally of that night. “So I swung the bat, and the sound—shit, Zara, the sound—there’s nothing else like it. I heard a melon explode once, and that sound was close, but there’s a sick thunk to a skull caving in that’s impossible to describe.”
She held him tight, running her hand over him, offering soothing sounds. “That’s horrible.”
“Yeah.” His hands were sweaty, but he felt cold. “We were so scared, and then we had to run. Really run, you know? The sheriff would’ve caught us and not turned us in.” Even now, years later, Ryker shuddered at the revenge Cobb would’ve sought. The man was sadistic enough to know their weaknesses, and he would’ve definitely tortured Heath and Denver in front of Ryker. Hell, he’d promised to do it more than once.
Zara kissed his chin. “I’m so sorry, and I’m so glad you were strong enough to survive.”
At her acceptance, something tight in his chest eased and loosened. He calmed and told her all about Dr. Madison and Greg’s connection to her. To them.
“That’s unbelievable,” Zara said, anger in her voice. “She experimented on all of you?”
“Yes.” Warmth surrounded him as he shared with Zara—as he gave her everything. “She said once that Heath, Denver, and I were her special projects—just hers—like some type of secret. Like her main job was at the facilities where Greg and other kids were raised, and we were just a detour or something she did for fun. Our lives were her fun.” Bewilderment filled him, and he didn’t bother to battle it back.
“Damn, that’s fucked up,” Zara said.
He barked out a surprised laugh. “You’ve summed it up perfectly.” God, he adored her.
“Thank you for trusting me.” She settled against him, and they lay that way, just the two of them, for a brief moment in time.
Finally, he tuned into the apartment. It was still dark outside, so it must’ve been early morning. Ice cracked outside while silence ruled inside. Greg breathed quietly in the living room, and Grams shuffled around her room.
“Your granny is up,” Ryker said.
Zara nodded. “I wish we could stay here forever.”
“Me too.” He sighed. “But we can’t.”
“I know. Today I want to go to the office and fetch my belongings before anybody gets there.”
He paused. “You’re not fired. Just on leave.”
“I know, but it’s embarrassing. Chances are I’ll be fired, no matter what. So I’d like to get my things without facing everyone.” She sighed. “I’m a coward.”
“No, you’re not.” He ran his fingertips across her waist and over her butt. “I’ll take you first thing, and then we need to make escape plans.”
“Okay.” She licked along his jawline. Her phone buzzed, and she stopped to roll over and read the screen. “My neighbor has my mail for me. Let’s stop by there after the office.” She rolled back and nipped beneath his chin. “Then maybe we can go back to bed.” Barely evading his quick kiss, she shoved from the bed and stood, stretching.
“Sounds good.” He followed her into the shower, where he proceeded to make sure she was very clean. Several times. Being with her felt like he’d always imagined home would feel. Until now, the idea of a home had been just a farfetched dream.
But Zara was home to him.