I have an hour before supper when we get home from my regular visit with Dr. Aguiar. I was a little worried she’d listen to my lungs and somehow know I’d leaped from the top of a tower two nights ago, but she gave me as clean a bill of health as I ever get.
I shut myself in my room and spread the library books I found about Walt Disney out on my duvet. I’m flipping through one of the books when the doorbell rings.
I hear muffled voices, and then there’s a knock at my door. Mom pokes her head inside. Ethan is behind her.
“Not too long,” Mom says.
I nod mutely as Ethan closes the door.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey.”
My heart beats fast.
“What are you doing?” He nods at the books.
“Um, school stuff.” Somehow I don’t think he wants to hear all about my project with Tucker.
He nods again, then digs in his bag and hands me a package of Starbursts.
“Oh. Thanks.” I awkwardly take it from him, but he doesn’t flop onto the bed as usual.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“Oh. Yeah. Um.” He shrugs out of his backpack and pulls out a folded newspaper. He holds it for a moment before speaking again. “I found this today, and I’m sorry, Hope, but you need to know. Last year Tucker was arrested for assault.”
I exhale as I realize what he’s talking about. The thing with Tucker’s cousin.
“It doesn’t say his name,” Ethan continues, “but it’s for sure him. Remember how he went away for, like, two weeks last year? Well, that’s because he had this court case drama going down. Hope, he would have been sent to juvie if his dad hadn’t hired the best lawyers. And that’s not the worst part—”
“I knew about that,” I interrupt.
He freezes. “Y-you did?”
“How did you even find this?” I ask.
He shrugs, defensive. “It wasn’t that hard.”
“But why?” I ask. “Why did you look this up?”
“What do you mean, why? Because you’re my best friend and I don’t get a good feeling about this guy.”
I shake my head. “Ethan, you don’t get to do this.”
“Do what?”
I raise my hands. “Tell me who I can and can’t date. Did you ask me before you started dating Savannah?”
“Well, no. But this is different,” he says.
“Why? If I told you I didn’t get a good feeling about Savannah, would you dump her?”
“Yes,” he says without missing a beat.
My face gets hot. “Well, I wouldn’t do that,” I answer. “And you’re wrong about him.”
“Oh yeah?” He takes a swift step closer. “Look at this. The guy he beat up was hospitalized, Hope. He was beaten unconscious.”
I didn’t know that. And I know from Ethan’s changing expression that he can see it.
“It’s not what you think,” I say. “He had a good reason.”
“Really? What possible reason could he have had to beat a guy senseless and then have his daddy cover it up?”
“Listen, I’m not supposed to say anything about it, but since you’re obviously not going to shut up about this, I will. Tucker caught a guy trying to rape his cousin.”
Ethan pales.
“Yeah. So he beat the guy up and probably got a little carried away, but can you blame him? Imagine walking in on a guy forcing himself on one of your sisters.”
Ethan’s lips twist in disgust.
“But when the cops came, his cousin didn’t want to press charges because she was worried about her reputation, so Tucker took the fall for it because he’s a decent guy.”
He opens his mouth, then closes it.
I cross my arms. “I’m not a complete idiot, you know.”
“I never said you were.”
“But you insinuated it. Everyone always treats me like I can’t make decisions for myself.”
“I was just trying to help—”
“Well, stop.”
A pained look crosses his features. I can’t stand it. I climb off the bed and pace to the window, looking at the huge expanse of concrete below. I hear Ethan moving behind me, but he doesn’t speak. How did things go so horribly wrong between us? I wish I could turn back time. Go back to two weeks ago, when the biggest argument we had was which B horror movie to watch.
“I don’t want this to get weird, Eth.” I spin to face him again. He’s standing next to my bed now with his head hung low and his hands twisted around the newspaper. “Just, please, trust me.”
The moment expands, stretches out, and I start to worry that this is it. He’s going to call off our friendship. But then he throws the newspaper into a corner. “All right, fine.”
Relief surges through me. “So we’re good, then?”
He nods, and some of his hair falls into his eyes. I long to reach up, tuck it back, but he has a girlfriend now. We’re just friends.
“Good,” I say.
He clears his throat, then hikes his thumb behind him. “Well, I better get going. It’s late.”
“Oh. Okay. See you later.”