“Can I help you?”
However, I had forgotten Ilyan had asked Risha to stay behind and help.
“I’m okay,” I said stubbornly, my legs shaking as I tried to push myself up, my eyes focusing on the long, golden ribbon that fell down the side of my neck, circling elegantly around the stones below me. “I can do it.”
Everything ached, my legs continuing their violent shake as I forced myself to stand. Part of me was secretly grateful when she caught me, her hand strong around my bicep. I hadn’t even realized I was falling.
“Okay, I guess I do need some help,” I admitted quietly, thankful when she chuckled, the sound musical rather than condescending.
Taking her arm, I leaned against her as she led me toward Dramin and Thom’s room, my mind running over everything that had happened.
I hadn’t been around Risha outside of our weekly meetings and had avoided her most other times thanks to her unsuccessfully hidden crush on Ryland. The whole ex-girlfriend vibe was a little too high school given our current situation, but I couldn’t shake it. Besides, it was more than that. I really didn’t know much about her besides the whole Ryland thing. That and the fact she liked to eat meat.
Both of those were pretty public knowledge, no matter how hard the two of them tried to hide it. Not about the meat, but about the crush. I was fairly certain everyone knew. After all, Ryland had never been very good at hiding those types of things. I should know.
Contrary to public or Wyn’s knowledge, I was happy for him.
Wyn had even taken a betting pool at one point to see how long they would last or how I would act when I found out. Everyone was kind of waiting to find out the results of it at this point.
“That’s okay,” her voice was soft. “Everyone needs help from time to time.”
“Some more than others.” It was said in mostly a growl. Considering everything I had been through over the past year, it fit.
Sometimes, like right then, I was ashamed of the fact that I still needed help.
I had grown so much. I had done so much. I had defeated so much.
I was supposed to be the “most powerful.”
I was ready for all of this growing and trials and learning stuff to be over, but I wasn’t na?ve enough to think it ever would be.
All this junk was just life.
Even when I hit a thousand, I was sure I would still be learning new things and conquering new trials, and I would probably be messing them up from time to time, too. If anything, I was at least getting better at handling it, and that, I was going to wear like a badge of honor.
After everything I had faced, after everything I had done, the badge had been well deserved. And to be able to look at myself and see how much stronger I really was … I didn’t even think my own mother would recognize the ‘me’ I had become.
“But needing help, that’s okay, too,” I whispered, knowing it was more to myself than it was to her.
She smiled, anyway.
“Zdechnout.”
Tiny teeth gnashed inches from my face before the creature fell to the ground in a lifeless heap at the sound of the word, a thud of flesh and stone ringing throughout the tiny alleyway.
It wasn’t often that one of those things would slip back through the barrier with me, and I wasn’t sure how it had happened when it had taken so much effort for me to move through the space on my own. Yet, it had.
Luckily, I could kill them easily enough.
Stripping off the heavy cloak, I dropped it in the same weeds I always kept it in, grateful to be rid of it now that the winter chill was trapped on the other side of the barrier.
I didn’t even check to make sure it was hidden, in too much of a hurry.
Joclyn was a smart girl—sometimes too much so—and thanks to her personal vendetta against me, I was sure they had moved past the first stages of assuming they were being double-crossed by whoever was under that cape and moved to solid assumptions of me being the culprit behind the cape.
I could only hope to be so lucky.
Now I had to find them before it was too late, discredit the brat even more.
I had been worried it was too soon for her to see me, but after this morning, the timing couldn’t be more perfect. A little more insanity for her repertoire.
Now I needed to add to it.
“Po?etily Ilyan,” the words were a grumble as I walked away from door, dropping the cloak without a second glance, and into the large church complex full of his people.
The brainwashed herd wandered around as if the world on the other side of the barrier wasn’t trying to kill them, as if they had forgotten why the light was red and the air was hot. There was more laughter than training, more joy than fear. It was a stark contrast to what little I had seen of Edmund’s camp.
It was kind of exciting to see how ill prepared they were, how secure they were in the delusions I had been force-feeding them for so long.
The attack won’t come until spring.