Perhaps it’s because Riden’s lips taste even better than I’d imagined. Or because his hands make my skin tingle where they hold the sides of my face. Maybe it’s the thrill of doing something my father wouldn’t approve of. I mean, he’s not exactly the overprotective type. He couldn’t care less about my dalliances. But he would most definitely be upset if he knew I was kissing the enemy, especially when I’ve nothing to gain from it. No, wait, that’s not true. It could definitely benefit me to have the first mate wrapped around my finger.
When Riden’s lips move down to my neck, I forget all about my father. There’s nothing except heat and chills all at once. He reaches the hollow at the base of my neck, and I let out a soft moan.
He returns to my lips with a new intensity. The burned spot on my tongue tingles when he traces it with his own. I rip out the band that holds together his hair and run my fingers through it.
The moment is perfect.
But the thought hits me like a hammer: This shouldn’t be perfect. In fact, it isn’t. I’ve gone too long without proper sleep and food. It’s making me act like a silly tavern wench. I can’t do this. I have thieving to do.
It is with great effort, not the physical kind, that I push Riden away.
His chest is heaving up and down. I’m sure mine is, too.
“That’s enough of that,” I say.
“You’re bleeding again,” Riden says, touching a spot on my cheek.
I hadn’t felt the cut reopen. “Probably your fault.”
“As I’m sure you believe most things are.”
“Of course.”
He smiles and starts to lean down again, and I’m so very tempted to let him close the distance. Wouldn’t be so hard if he wasn’t so good at this. Instead, I say, “I said that’s enough.”
He steps away from me quickly, as though he doesn’t trust himself to be near me.
“I have duties to perform,” he says, turning around.
“I’m sure.”
*
I wish I didn’t have to wait until nightfall to continue searching the ship. All I have to do when I’m left alone is think. And thinking is the last thing I want to do right now.
I’d rather be punching something.
Enwen comes in later to bring me another meal. I smile once he retreats. Riden’s a coward. He doesn’t want to face me right now. Perhaps that kiss was a good idea. It’ll certainly be worth watching him squirm later.
I get in a quick nap so I’ll be ready by nightfall. It was tempting to go right back to sleep once I awoke, but I have no time to waste now that Draxen and his crew are heading for my father.
It’s late when Riden enters the room again. He looks surprised to see me. “Oh, I thought you’d be asleep.”
“You mean you were hoping,” I say with a smile.
“And miss out on whatever snappy comment you have ready for me? Not a chance.”
“I don’t have a snappy comment prepared.”
“That’s a shame. I was rather hoping for a repeat of what happened after the last one.”
“I’m sure. Unfortunately for you, I’m a bit tired.”
“Then why aren’t you asleep?”
“I was getting there.”
“Looks more like you were waiting for me.”
Oh please. Maybe I should knock him out for the night. I can’t do that, though. He’d remember in the morning. I’d be all out of explanations if I knocked him out but stayed on the ship. I can’t leave until I have that blasted ever-elusive map!
“Just go to sleep, Riden. Here.” I get off the bed and sit in the chair instead.
“You’re going to sleep there?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to, all right? What’s with all the questions?”
“I’m your interrogator, remember?”
“Right now you’re off duty, so go to sleep.”
“Why do you so desperately want me to drift off? Hoping to climb in bed after I’m out?”
“Actually, I want the silence that comes after.”
Riden looks about the room. “You know, it’s really difficult for me to sleep knowing how filthy my room is. Maybe I’ll stay up until you conk out.”
I don’t have time for this. And I can’t risk pretending to fall asleep until he does. I might actually drift off, and that would be a whole night wasted.
I’m irritated. And perhaps if I weren’t so irritated, I wouldn’t have jumped so quickly to this solution. But I’m impatient after sitting around all day. I had my face pummeled. I’m still cranky for the want of sleep, and, honestly, I’m still hungry.
So I begin to sing. The melody is deep and soothing. I can feel my whole body humming with energy as it drifts out of me. I can feel every place in the room. The way the sound bounces off the wood, seeps into the blankets, enters Riden’s ears.
He steps closer, trying to hear the tune better. I indulge him by removing the distance for him. I take his hand and lead him to the bed. He follows, captured by my spell. I know what Riden wants in life. Love and acceptance. I weave those into the song and command him to sleep and forget that he ever heard me sing.
He has no choice but to obey.
Chapter 12
I FEEL THE EXPECTED longing of the ocean. I always feel it after I use my song. My chest aches. It burns, yearning to go under the water where it can be soothed and nourished. I don’t need the strength of the ocean to survive, though, only to replenish my song—to strengthen the part of me that I try to keep hidden. But replenishing my abilities has its own consequence. That other part of me tries to take over, something I can’t risk until after I’ve completed my mission.
I am mostly human. But when I allow myself to use the gifts my mother gave me, I become something else. And it kills me a little inside each time I have to fight it back off.
*
I slip back into Riden’s room right before the sun starts to rise. I’ve got to put the key to the door back into his pocket.
But Riden groans as he sits up in bed. I quickly move away from the door and jump into the chair at his desk.
“What happened?” he asks, putting his hand to his head.
“Do you have a headache?” I ask. “You were groaning something fierce in your sleep.”
“No, it doesn’t hurt. It feels…”
I’ve sung to many men in the past. Those whom I’ve allowed to keep their memory of the experience have tried to explain to me what it feels like. I’ve heard it’s euphoric. That it’s pleasure and happiness all rolled into one. When I make them sleep, they dream about me all during the night. While I was growing up, there weren’t many men who let me practice my songs on them. But I practiced anyway. It wasn’t as though my mother was around to teach me. Father was eventually able to keep my abilities known to only a select group. He didn’t want his rivals to know just how powerful I am. The fighting skills he taught me alone make me dangerous. And being half siren—well, that makes me deadly.
“It feels what?” I ask.
“Nothing,” he says quickly. He’s retreated into his mind, searching through memories or dreams. Waking is usually disorienting for my victims.
While it’s amusing to watch him fumbling with his thoughts, I need to get this key back on Riden before he notices it’s gone. “Did you sleep well?” I ask. “Good dreams?” I know he dreamed about me, but that doesn’t mean I know what I was doing in his dream.
Of course, I don’t expect Riden to be honest.
He looks dazed for a moment more. Then he seems to compose himself. “Yes. What happened yesterday? I can’t…”