Matt nodded slowly, inspecting me. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table. “If I recall, you said something similar when we first met. When I asked you what you were looking for in a partner.”
“About kids?” I didn’t remember the subject of children coming up before now.
“No. When I asked you what you were looking for, you said you were looking for the right person. You’re the first and only person—that I know of—who has responded that way. All participants, both male and female, typically list off attributes. We theorize that what is most important to a person can be extrapolated based on the attributes he or she lists first.”
“Meaning?”
“Well, if I ask someone, ‘What are you looking for most in a partner?’ And he says, ‘I want someone tall, and wealthy and smart,’ then we extrapolate that physical appearance matters most, then money, then intelligence. But if someone answers, ‘I want someone kind, with brown eyes, and who likes to travel,’ then we extrapolate that person values personality first, then physical appearance, then hobbies and shared interests.”
“Fascinating. You never mentioned this before.” It was fascinating. I tried to think about how I would have responded if I hadn’t said the right person, but I couldn’t. I mean, I didn’t want to be involved with a jerk, but a jerk wasn’t ever going to be the right person for me anyway.
“It never came up before.” His sly smile emerged. “But you can imagine how confused Dr. Merek was when I told him what you said.”
“He was confused?”
I hadn’t seen Dr. Merek again. Matt never wanted to go back to his office after the last time we were there, when I’d arranged my story notes on his floor, insisting there was no reason to do so when he could access his data off campus.
“Yes. Behavioral science is his expertise. I’m just the engineer. He wasn’t just confused, he was shocked. He said if more people focused on finding the right person rather than making sure their potential partner satisfied the requirements of some arbitrary list—mostly defined by societal priorities—then we’d all be happier.”
“Is this part of your proposition?” I eyed him. “Are you trying to set me up with Dr. Merek?”
Matt visibly stiffened, a severe frown immediately arresting his features. “Why?”
I shrugged. “Why not? He’s not married, is he? Does he have a girlfriend?”
His jaw ticked, all traces of his earlier smile now gone. “No.”
“Is he nice? He seemed nice.”
“Sure.”
The server approached with Matt’s food, placing a large stack of pancakes, bacon, and fruit in front of him, along with an extra-large glass of water and coffee.
“Then why not?” I pressed. “Unless you don’t think I’m nice.”
Matt leaned back farther to make room for the plates. But when the server had gone, he pushed the food to the center of the table, leaving them untouched.
“You know you’re more than nice,” Matt muttered, pulling his phone out of his pocket and glancing at the screen, his forehead knit with deep creases.
“Then you should set us up,” I said, not understanding why I was pushing.
What did I want from him? A reaction?
What is wrong with me? Why am I so crazy?
Eventually, Matt shoved his phone back in his pocket and lifted his eyes to mine. They were devoid of emotion. “Sure. Sounds good. I’ll talk to him and let you know.”
Nodding once, and not examining too closely why my heart had plummeted at his response, I said, “Good. Thanks. I look forward to it.”
“Hmm.” He examined me in that unapologetic way of his. Except this time I felt like he was peering at me from behind a wall.
Lifting my chin, several seconds passed while we swapped stares. The moment grew increasingly uncomfortable. I decided it was time for me to go.
“I have to—”
“So, on—”
And both of us stopped at the same time, laughing lightly, but with very little humor. I gestured for him to continue, picking up my tea.
“So, on Friday, you were babysitting Grace and Jack?”
Now I stiffened, my eyes dropping to the table, unable to hold his probing stare. “That’s right.”
He hesitated, leaning forward by placing both of his elbows on the table. “Sorry I didn’t introduce you to Keira.”
I shrugged, glancing to a spot over his shoulder, and pasting a small smile on my face. “It’s fine. I had pizza in the oven, so it’s not like I had a lot of time anyway.”
What? What did that even mean? What does pizza have to do with anything?
“I should have introduced you.” He deepened his voice, sounding solemn and sincere, which drew my eyes back to his.
His features were still mostly clear of expression, but his eyes were focused on mine with blunt intensity.
“Why? Is she your girlfriend?”
Wow. Go me.
Let the record show, my voice was steady and impressively nonchalant, so the opposite of how I was feeling.
“No.” He gave his head a subtle shake, his tone shaded with frustration. “I should have introduced you because you’re my friend. I should always introduce you. To everyone.”
Aaaaaaand, I’ve just been friend-zoned. Hilarious.
I would’ve laughed at the irony if my heart hadn’t chosen that moment to shatter.
One week later, Matt showed up at my office.
I’d told him where I worked a few weeks ago, but when I glanced up from my laptop, finding him hovering just outside my door watching me, my first thought was that I was surprised he’d remembered the address.
“Hey.” I sat back in my chair, wanting to put more distance between us. “How long have you been standing there?”
He shrugged, strolling through the door and closing it behind him. “Not long. I didn’t want to disturb you in the middle of a thought.”
“Thanks.” My gaze moved over him, taking note of his gray suit pants and jacket, and white button-down shirt. No tie. The top two buttons were undone, revealing a bright white undershirt. It was a gorgeous suit, beautifully tailored, and he looked damn sexy in it.
Damn, damn sexy.
Fortunately for me, I was deeply entrenched behind my figurative wall of aloofness. My heart demanded it.
“What’s with the outfit?”
He glanced down at himself. “Why? What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing. It’s just not what I typically see you wearing.”
“Do you like it?” He grinned, sitting in one of the chairs opposite my desk. “If you do, I can play dress up more often.”
I ignored the question and his teasing, not in the mood for silly Matt. Actually, I wasn’t much in the mood for Matt at all. In some respects, I was really sad about that. For a while there, I had always been in the mood for Matt. Serious, silly, curious, thoughtful. I had wanted them all. But now? Now that I knew who I really was in his life?
No. Not in the mood.
I liked my fortress of indifference, because looking at him through this lens saved my heart from more bruises.
“Why are you here?”