My great-grandfather had bought the buildings we lived in when he moved his business to its current location. Over the years, the two apartments were typically rented out to employees of the coffee shop or their friends. When Carla left Drew, he moved into the apartment above the café, and I moved into the building across the alley so I’d be around to help him with the girls. Plus, I loved being just steps away from some of the best coffee in Boston.
“Daddy!” a small voice called behind Drew. A mess of dark curls appeared beside him, peeking her head out the window, a wide smile on her face. “Good morning, Auntie Molly!”
“‘Morning, Alyssa,” I replied with a grin reserved only for my nieces.
“Want to come over and make waffles?”
“I have to work today, princess,” I responded. “And I’m pretty sure you and your sister have school. Maybe I’ll come over tonight and we can make some pizza.”
“Pizza!” she exclaimed with enthusiasm. “And then watch a movie, too?”
“Of course, silly!”
I heard a shuffling inside my condo and looked over my shoulder to see a tall physique come into view. My eyes widening at his nakedness, I shot off the table, nearly spilling my M&M’s. “Gotta go! See you later, Drew. Love ya, Lis!”
I threw open the French doors and quickly ran inside.
“Hey, babe,” Kevin said, scratching himself as I hurriedly closed the blinds so as not to scar my niece for life. Hell, I was pretty sure the size of his junk had already scarred me for life. “What are you doing up so early? I didn’t even hear you get up.”
“I’ve been awake for a while.” I peeled my sweater off and slung it onto a chair as I walked through the cozy living area and into the kitchen. I checked the kettle, made sure there was enough water, then ignited the gas burner.
“Doing what?” He leaned his elbow on the quartz countertop. It was a little disconcerting how comfortable he looked roaming my apartment naked, his schlong blowing in the wind, so to speak.
“Not much,” I lied, pouring beans into the grinder and hitting the power button. I wasn’t the type of girl to spill her innermost secrets to the guy she was, as my brother put it, boinking. The details of my life were completely unrelated to Kevin’s ability to perform in the sack. He was a nice distraction and open to trying new things, which was extremely beneficial in my line of work, especially when working on the steamier parts of my books. Other than that, I didn’t feel much for him.
“You get up early a lot,” he practically shouted over the sound of the coffee beans being pulverized.
“Just working on stuff for the magazine.” Turning off the grinder, I avoided eye contact, measuring the coffee grounds into the French press.
He crossed his arms in front of his chest, his large biceps bulging. I hid my displeasure. Kevin was every woman’s fantasy. Toned muscles. Eight-pack abs. A few tasteful tattoos dotting his arms and shoulders. He just wasn’t my fantasy man. I liked my men a little squishy with some imperfections. However, beer bellies and nose hair didn’t sell books. People read to escape, not be reminded of their ordinary, mundane lives.
For the past several months, Kevin had been my unknowing muse for a handful of book boyfriends. It was a great arrangement, even if he remained unaware of the details. I used him as a source of inspiration to write my sizzling, ovary-combusting romances. In return, he had a girl who wouldn’t pester him to meet her family and hang out with her friends. Who wouldn’t stand in front of the mirror for hours asking him repeatedly if she looked fat. Who didn’t need to be wined and dined so he could get laid.
“Mols?” Kevin’s voice made me tear my eyes away from his chest. Meeting his gaze, a lascivious smile crossed his mouth, assuming he caught me ogling. “Did you hear me?”
“What was that?”
“I said…” He stepped toward me, resting his hands on my waist. His thumb strummed my hipbone.
A shiver rippled through my body. I mentally ran through some notes I had made about a few questionable positions. Tugging at my lower lip, I tried to remember which one I wanted to check next to make sure I got the blocking right.
“You seem to work a lot, but your columns don’t appear in the magazine all that often.”
His lips whispered against my neck, the touch as subtle as a light breeze. I closed my eyes, arching toward him. I was thinking maybe against the wall this time. He was tall and muscular, a stark contrast to my short and slender frame. He could easily support me with just his upper body strength, barely breaking a sweat.
“Why is that?”
“I have no control over what they publish or don’t,” I replied in a breathy voice, repeating the same story I told practically everyone.
“What’s this new column about?” he murmured, his hands hooking into the waist of my Minnie Mouse pajama bottoms and tugging them down.
“Office romances.” It wasn’t a complete lie.
“What about them?” His tongue circled that sensitive spot in the crook of my neck, a tingle warming my insides.
“It wouldn’t interest you.” Hoping to distract him, I grabbed his cheeks, pulling his lips toward me. “Kiss me, Kevin.”
I had been up half the night writing, completely uninspired. Maybe this was what I needed to power through this book. Maybe I needed to feel the illusion of love and all its false promises.
My lips a breath from his, he pushed away, his posture straightening. “Why do you do that?”
“What?” I gaped at him, surprised by his sudden serious demeanor.
He ran his hand through his light brown hair. “Whenever I try to find out more about you as a person, you push me away.”
“I didn’t push you away,” I argued. “Hell, I was ready for you to fuck me against the wall, for crying out loud! You’re the one who pushed me away.”
“I’m not talking physically.” His muscular stature shrank, making him appear vulnerable. “Listen…” A sigh fell from his lips. “I like you, Molly. You’re a beautiful woman who knows exactly what she wants. How is this relationship going to work if I don’t even know who you are as a person? Your dreams and fears?”
“Relationship?” I practically choked on my own saliva, my heart rate picking up at his use of the dreaded “r” word.
In the few months we’d been casually seeing each other, which pretty much consisted of having drinks before heading back to my place, we never got personal. I didn’t know much about him, and vice versa. I liked it that way. He provided me with exactly what I needed. There had never been any discussion about what we expected from each other because I was under the impression there were no expectations.
“What are you talking about?” The tea kettle began singing, but I ignored it.
“Us.” He gestured between our bodies.
“Us?” I felt like I was in some sort of parallel universe.
“What did you think I was talking about?”
“I don’t know, but I certainly didn’t think it was that. Kevin, you’re a fun guy. I like hanging out, but relationship?”
He stepped back, his formerly massive erection no longer standing at attention. Regardless, it was still impressive.
“And can you please cover yourself?” I snorted out a laugh. “I can’t take you seriously with your junk flopping around.”
His eyes narrowed, hurt evident in his expression. “You’re a piece of work,” he spat in a tone that emphasized it was not a compliment. He retreated from the kitchen and stormed down the hall into my bedroom.
Shrugging, I pulled my pajama pants back up, then turned toward the stove. I shut off the gas, removing the kettle from the heat. Pouring the water into the French press, I allowed the coffee grounds to steep, shaking off the guilt that tried to force its way into my conscience. Catholic guilt. It wasn’t my fault Kevin wanted to change the rules after several months.
“I’m out of here,” he called out. I turned around to see him walking toward the front door.
“Okay.” I hesitated, unsure of the protocol in situations like these. I never got close enough to someone to know how to act after a disagreement. Or argument. I wasn’t quite sure which this was. “Want to come over later?”
His hand on the doorknob, he stopped. His shoulders rose and fell, then he faced me. “No, Molly. I’m not going to come over later. I’m done putting time and effort into something you won’t.”