I hated saying the words. They felt like an invitation to Fate. But then again, Fate had never played kindly with me. The Hags of Fate had spun me a difficult path, and the threads of my life couldn’t go on forever, no matter how long I lived. At some point, even vampires faded, stretched too thin by the days and years and millennia.
Camille took my hand, and Delilah’s. “We promise. Menolly, when you died, when you were turned and sent back, for a long time you remembered things differently than how they happened. You broke my arm, you almost killed me—and you blanked that out. But I’d do everything again, if I had to. I’d do it all over. We want to go with you, but we’ll respect your wishes.” Her voice was throaty, as if a wellspring of emotion were struggling to break free.
Kitten nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks. “I hate this. It feels like we’re saying good-bye.”
I kissed both of their hands and then stood, pacing across the drive to stare at a rowan tree that was blossoming up and over the road. The leaves were young but they would grow, and the berries would turn brilliant red. They were protective, rowan were—keeping away the lightning. Mountain ash . . . that was another name for them. I plucked a branch and played with it before turning back.
“We are, at least until I rescue Nerissa. But so many people never get to say good-bye to their loved ones. So many times, someone walks out the door and they’re gone forever—hit by a car, or their heart gives out, or a random bullet from a maniac’s gun finds them. And their families are left without ever having the chance to say good-bye. Let’s face it, I’m headed on a very dangerous mission. I’m going to the Subterranean Realms. Maybe we’ll be graced by the gods for once, maybe we’ll find Nerissa and rescue her without a struggle. I’d love that. But . . . maybe we won’t. I just want to make certain I’ve said everything I need to before I leave.”
As I handed Camille the branch, she stared at it softly. “Then I guess I’ll say what’s on my mind. I love you, Menolly, and I want Nerissa back. But a part of me wishes you’d just let her go—chalk it up to the horrid collateral damage that we seem to leave in our wake.”
She held up her hand before I could speak. “I know you can’t. And I wouldn’t respect you if you actually did. But the selfish part of me doesn’t want to worry . . . doesn’t want to wait and watch for someone to come through the door who might not make it home. The selfish part of me is the one who’s talking right now. And I need to be honest, and get it outside of me.”
She shrugged. “But I also know that if it were one of my husbands, I wouldn’t hesitate to go hunting him down. Which brings me to another thing. I lied when I made my promise. Because if something happens to you, then something will have happened to Trillian, and I’ll have to come after you, if only to save him.”
“Same for me and Shade.” Delilah took the branch. She played with the leaves. “But . . . I mostly want to say that you’d just damned well better come home. Because Camille won’t watch Jerry Springer with me, and she won’t watch the old sci-fi movies I love, not without protesting. And if you don’t get your ass back here, then I’m going to come looking for you in my Death Maiden guise. Because nobody can stop a Death Maiden. Not even a demon.”
And that was it. We stared at one another, and then I began to laugh and threw my arms around their waists as we started back to the house. We had said all we could. I just wanted to spend the rest of the night listening to them chatter and playing with Maggie, before I walked into the gates of hell.
*
Vanzir had news for us—good news, actually. “I managed to connect with Trytian’s contact who is still over Earthside. He finally answered his cell. I told him what was up. Don’t even bitch at me about it because you’re going to thank me.”
“All right, as long as Trytian doesn’t hand us over to Shadow Wing.”
“Trytian will meet us at the coordinates and help us from there. He and one or two other trusted guards.” Vanzir’s eyes flared, and he gave me a cockeyed grin. I realized he was trying to help in the best way he knew how.
“How did his contact get in touch with him so quickly?” I still wasn’t buying it, not all the way at least. But if it was true, then we had another leg up and every bit of help we got counted.
“They’re soul-bound, like Camille and her men. Only they can trade thoughts. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I’ve known some other demons who have that ability and unless you’re very careful, it leads to somebody eventually killing somebody else for a stray thought.”
I wanted to believe it, but I was afraid to. Instead, I decided on a wait-and-see approach. “Thank you, Vanzir. It will be good to have help on the other end.”