“You can’t hang with the boys now, Menolly.” Trillian spoke softly, making sure his words did not carry. “You belong to royalty. You can’t go out there and be just a regular guy . . . woman . . . vampire, again. Even in your bar, you’re going to have to pull back a bit. I hate to break it to you, but everything changed the moment you put on that crown.”
“I’m just beginning to understand how much.” My mood fell as the weight of what I had taken on began to hit home. But nothing mattered so much as finding my wife, safe and alive. “As long as we can find Nerissa, I can handle anything. Even if it means I have to hand over running the bar to Derrick.” I paused, then asked, “And you . . . how will you feel living out at Talamh Lonrach Oll, when your wife becomes the new Queen of Dusk and Twilight?”
Trillian shrugged. “I’ve lived many places in my life. I enjoy living in the house with everyone else, but truth be told, the thought of moving? As long as I’m with Camille? I don’t care whether we go back to Otherworld, or stay Earthside. Houses come and go. Love is what lasts.”
Shade frowned. “Delilah’s having a hard time, but I’m hoping to be able to help her move through the fear of change. Because change will come as it will, and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it. In fact, try to stop it and you trip over the turning wheels.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” I flashed him a weary grin. “I discovered that one the hard way. Kitten has never had an easy time with change. She’s a cat—and cats like their routines. I remember once, when we were little girls—it was shortly after Mother died—Camille decided that we were going to change what we usually ate for breakfast. We had been having porridge since we were babies. But Camille said that Father had ordered her to switch us over to ‘grown-up’ breakfasts. So we moved to eggs and ham and crusty bread. Delilah threw a fit. She went on a hunger strike.”
“I’ll bet that lasted a good hour.” Shade laughed.
I nodded. “All of one day, actually. But every morning for a week she cried. She wanted her porridge. We finally figured out that it reminded her of Mother giving us breakfast. She was terrified Mother’s spirit would be angry with her for ‘forgetting’ her. Once we calmed her down and helped her understand that she wasn’t betraying Mother’s memory by eating her eggs and ham, she was fine with it. Sometimes it just takes a change of perspective to be able to accept life’s vagaries.”
And even as I spoke, I realized that I needed to pay attention to my own words. And perhaps bring the thought up that everything was going to be all right—that we needed to move on with our lives, and that nothing could tear us apart.
“I’ll have a talk with Kitten when we get home. She’ll listen to me, and to Camille. We can set her mind at ease. Plus, when she marries you, I imagine things will change for her. She’ll see that she’s moving on, too. Once she realizes that she’s not being left behind, that we’re not running away from each other but rather to the next stage in our lives, I think she’ll be okay.”
Shade reached out and took my hand. “Thank you, Menolly. I’m grateful to have you and Camille as sisters-in-laws. I love Delilah, in a way I never expected to love anybody. When the Autumn Lord assigned me to her . . . I was a dutiful servant, yes, but not sure what to expect. Then I saw her—long before she ever knew me—and was struck by how strong she was even through the vulnerability.”
“She’s always had a certain na?veté.” I shrugged. “It’s her Achilles heel, as well as a charm.”
“That’s not what drew me in. I’m not fond of weak women, but I saw what your sister could become. I see what she will become, and I’m grateful she’s able to keep her essential self while she evolves. She’s good, and kind, and loving. And she’ll put her life on the line for those she cares about. Those qualities . . . those are why I love her. Not her looks—though she is beautiful to me. Not the little girl. I love the woman who can calmly fight off a horde of zombies, and then turn around and coo over a bunny rabbit.”
Trytian and Vanzir joined us at that moment.
“I’m sorry about your man—Ron, was it?” Trytian shrugged. “There’s never a good way to lose someone. But I couldn’t let you try to rescue him. It would have been far too dangerous, and vampire or not, he was already dead.”
“I’m grateful you made that clear. It allowed his companions peace of mind. And here, I think that is something that is hard fought for, and hard won.” I shivered. The starkness of this realm—the harshness—was burning itself into my psyche with every move we made. There would be no joy here, not the joy that felt clear and pure. The Sub-Realms were as tainted a place as I’d ever experienced, and I had no desire to ever come back.
“Stay here too long, and you lose your soul,” Vanzir whispered. “I am still trying to regain mine.”
“I think Aeval will help you with that.” Trillian pushed himself to his feet and stretched.
“I hope you’re right.”