Baby, it was a long time ago.
My exhaustion catches up with me. Several sleepless nights plagued with nightmares have taken their toll. I’m tired. I want to stop thinking. She’s my dreamcatcher. I never had nightmares when she was sleeping at my side. Leaning back, I close my eyes, saying nothing, because I have nothing more to say. I listen to the music, and when it’s finished, to her soft, even breathing. She’s asleep. She’s weary. Like me. I realize I can’t spend the night with her. She’ll get no sleep if I do. I hold her, enjoying her weight on me, honored that she can sleep on me. I can’t help my self-satisfied grin. I’ve done it. I’ve won her back. Now all I have to do is keep her, which will be challenging enough.
My first vanilla relationship—who would have thought? Closing my eyes, I imagine the look on Elena’s face when I tell her. She’ll have plenty to say, she always has…
I can tell by the way you’re standing that you have something to tell me.
I dare a quick peek at Elena as her scarlet lips curl into a smile and she crosses her arms, flogger in hand.
Yes, Ma’am.
You may speak.
I have a place at Harvard.
Her eyes flash.
Ma’am, I add quickly, and stare down at my toes.
I see. She walks around me as I stand naked in her basement. The chill spring air caresses my skin, but it’s the anticipation of what’s to come that makes each of my hair follicles stand on end. That, and the smell of her expensive perfume. My body begins to respond.
She laughs. Control! she snaps, and the flogger bites across my thighs. And I try, really try, to bring my body to heel.
Though perhaps you should be rewarded for good behavior, she purrs. And she hits me again, across my chest this time, but soft, more playful. It’s quite the achievement to get into Harvard, my dear, dear pet. The flogger flies again, stinging my ass, and my legs quiver in response.
Hold still, she warns. And I stand straight, waiting for the next blow. So you’ll leave me, she whispers, and the flogger strikes my back.
My eyes spring open and I glance at her in alarm.
No. Never.
Eyes down, she commands.
And I stare at my feet as panic overwhelms me.
You’ll leave me and find some young college girl.
No. No.
She grabs my face, her nails biting into my skin.
You will. Her ice-blue eyes burn into mine, scarlet lips twisted in a snarl.
Never, Ma’am.
She laughs and pushes me away and raises her hand.
But the blow never comes.
When I open my eyes, Ana stands before me. She caresses my cheek and smiles. I love you, she says.
I wake, momentarily disoriented, my heart thudding like a klaxon, and I don’t know if it’s fear or excitement. I’m in the back of the Q7 and Ana is curled up asleep in my lap.
Ana.
She’s mine once more. And for a moment I feel giddy. A stupid grin splits my face and I shake my head. Have I ever felt like this? I’m excited for the future. I’m excited to see where our relationship will go. What new things we’ll try. There are so many possibilities.
I kiss her hair and rest my chin on her head. When I glance out of the window I notice that we’ve reached Seattle. Taylor’s eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror.
“Are we heading to Escala, sir?”
“No, Miss Steele’s.”
The corners of his eyes crinkle. “We’ll be there in five minutes,” he says.
Whoa. We’re nearly home.
“Thank you, Taylor.” I’ve slept longer than I thought possible in the back of a car. I wonder what time it is, but I don’t want to move my arm to check my watch as I’m holding her. I gaze down at my sleeping beauty. Her lips are gently parted, her dark lashes fanned out, shadowing her face. And I remember watching her sleep at The Heathman, that first time. She looked so peaceful then; she looks peaceful now. I’m reluctant to disturb her.
“Wake up, baby.” I kiss her hair. Her eyelashes flutter and she opens her eyes. “Hey,” I murmur in greeting.
“Sorry,” she mumbles as she sits up.
“I could watch you sleep forever, Ana.” No need to apologize.
“Did I say anything?” She looks worried.
“No,” I reassure her. “We’re nearly at your place.”
“We’re not going to yours?” She sounds surprised.
“No.”
She sits up straight and glares at me. “Why not?”
“Because you have work tomorrow.”
“Oh.” Her pout says all I need to know about her disappointment. I want to laugh out loud.
“Why, did you have something in mind?” I tease her.
She squirms in my lap.
Ow.
I still her with my hands.
“Well, maybe,” she says, looking anywhere but at me and sounding a little shy. I can’t help my laugh. She’s courageous in so many ways, and yet still so coy in others. And as I watch her, I realize that I’ve got to get her to open up about sex. If we’re going to be honest with each other, she has to tell me how she feels. Tell me what she needs. I want her to be confident enough to express her desires. All of them.
“Anastasia, I am not going to touch you again, not until you beg me to.”
“What!” She sounds a little upset.
“So that you’ll start communicating with me. Next time we make love, you’re going to have to tell me exactly what you want in fine detail.”
That will give you something to think about, Miss Steele.
I lift her off my lap when Taylor pulls up at the curb beside her apartment. I climb out of the car, walk to her door, and open it for her. She looks sleepy and adorable as she struggles out of the car.
“I have something for you.”
This is it. Will she accept my gift? This is the final stage of my campaign to win her back. Opening the trunk, I grab the gift box that contains her Mac, her phone, and an iPad. She looks from the box to me with suspicion. “Open it when you get inside.”
“You’re not coming in?”
“No, Anastasia.” As much as I’d like to. We both need to sleep.
“So when will I see you?”
“Tomorrow?”
“My boss wants me to go for a drink with him tomorrow.”
What the hell does that fucker want? I must chase Welch for his report on Hyde. There’s something off about him that isn’t reflected in his employee records. I don’t trust him one bit. “Does he, now?” I try to sound nonchalant.
“To celebrate my first week,” she says, quickly.
“Where?”
“I don’t know.”
“I could pick you up from there.”
“Okay. I’ll e-mail or text you.”
“Good.”
We walk to the lobby door together and I watch, amused, as she rummages around in her purse for her keys. She unlocks the door and turns to say good-bye—and I can’t resist her any longer. Leaning down, I cup her chin in my fingers. I want to kiss her hard, but I hold back and trace soft kisses from her temple to her mouth. She moans and the sweet sound travels straight to my cock.
“Until tomorrow,” I say, failing to keep the desire out of my voice.
“Good night, Christian,” she whispers, and her longing echoes my own.