And I want him to catch me.
The fight in my muscles evaporates as he pulls me into his lap. My pulse kicks up when he arranges my legs to straddle him. His thighs are columns of stone beneath me, powerful and supportive.
Sitting on him, against him, isn’t a bad feeling. It’s much safer than being beneath him, which has been my only experience with other men. But I don’t know where to put my hands. After an awkward moment, I let my fingers gravitate to his t-shirt.
His chest twitches against my palms, the ridges and indentations of muscle like bricks in my hands, so unlike anything I’ve ever felt.
I muster the courage to look up, absorbing the dark shadow on his jawline and the defined curves of his cheekbones. The blue hues in his meteoric eyes fire a voltage of warmth way down deep, below my waist, between my legs. The sensation makes me want to reach up and trace the shape of his lips. But I’m too nervous, too unsure.
It feels like there are invisible strands between us and they’re winding tighter, pulling, shrinking, and strumming with tension.
I sway closer. “Is this why you’re here?”
He meets me halfway, dipping his head, and his mouth drags a sigh across my neck.
I shiver and heat up. My fingers tighten on his shirt, my hips relax in his lap, and a strife of emotions frantically flap in my brain. The position puts my * right up against him, flush with the long rigid evidence of his hunger. It should be enough to make me recoil, to pull away, but I can’t. I don’t want to.
“Ivory,” he breathes along my jaw. His hands clench against my back, pulling my chest to his as he nibbles a trail of pleasure to the corner of my lips. “Yes.”
His mouth slides over mine, lips brushing, warm and soft and nice. Strong hands move up my neck, cup my jaw, and angle my head. He presses his lips harder, parting them, opening mine, and the first touch of his tongue shoots a thrill of electricity down my back.
My whole body should be shrinking, cringing with disgust, yet the rub of his tongue, the flavor of his mouth, and the pressure of his fingers against my head liquefies my insides into a needy simmer. Instead of jerking away from the strokes of his tongue, I lean in, stretching my mouth and deepening the connection.
A groan vibrates in his chest, and my own moan claws out as his lips move deliciously, firmly, against mine, touching me in a way I’ve never wanted or enjoyed. Over the past four years, I’ve been fed pools of drool and gagged by countless probing tongues. But I’ve never been kissed. Not like this. And I’ve never kissed back. Never experienced this kind of intimacy with a man while thinking, Don’t stop.
The hands on my head guide me closer, demanding I stay with him. How crazy is it that I don’t want to be anywhere else? I can’t even close my eyes for fear he’ll disappear.
Thickets of black lashes splay over his cheekbones. The muscles in his face contract with the urgency of his swirling tongue.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers against my lips then attacks my mouth with renewed hunger.
His chest and hips rock against mine. My inhales sharpen, and his exhales pull grunts of satisfaction from his throat.
“I can’t stay away.” Another drugging kiss. “I want you.” He nibbles my lower lip, licks just inside the seam, then rests his forehead against mine. “You make me want things I can’t have.”
I angle forward to refasten our mouths, but his grip on my jaw holds me still.
“We have to stop.” His fingers curl in my hair as his face draws away, leaving a tingling chill on my cheeks.
I flatten my palms on his sweat-damp chest. “I didn’t kiss you to help my chances for Leopold.”
“Oh, Ivory.” His hands tremble as they glide around my neck, over my shoulders, and down my arms. “So young and straightforward.” He grips my thighs, just below the hem of the shorts, and rolls his hips beneath my ass. “So perfect.”
The hard length of him pulses against the crotch of my shorts. Why isn’t that triggering my gag reflex? Why aren’t I curling up and reaching for the safe place in my head?
Why do I want to unzip his jeans and gaze upon that mysterious part of him? Why do I want to hold it in my hands and make his body flex in pleasure?
“This ends now.” He clutches my waist and sets me on the bench beside him.
My chest tightens, rejecting those words. No more touches? No more kisses? “What? Why?”
“It’s reckless. Dangerous.” He bows forward and braces elbows on his spread knees, staring out across the park.
“Because of Ms. Augustin?”
“She’s not a concern, but there’ll be others.” His eyes cut to mine, flinty and unmoving. “There’s always someone watching, waiting to ruin the prosperity of a life they don’t have.”