“After you.” He gestured for her to lead and she took off toward the trees.
The breeze was still brisk from the storm the night before, the sky dark with clouds and the air thick with mist and fog. The soggy ground sucked at their soft boots and soon they were both mud-spattered and damp, but as their feet pounded in synchronization, Evelayn finally felt as though she could breathe fully for the first time in days … maybe even longer. She hadn’t felt this calm since before the last time she’d gone running, that sun-drenched morning when her power had surged out of her body and she’d understood what had happened to her mother.
They silently dashed through the forest, a bit slower than normal because of the weather and mud, but still, she was running. Evelayn’s muscles burned from disuse and she gloried in the pain. It was a pain she could control and conquer. Unlike the jagged wound that was her mother’s death, or the pressing burden of needing to somehow defeat Bain, save her kingdom, and not leave it without an heir.
Ahead of them a dark bird swooped between two trees, reminding her of the one she thought she’d seen in the flash of lightning. Its cry echoed through the fog, taunting Evelayn. “Sneaky bugger,” she muttered. It had been silly to get her hopes up last night. Caedmon had only left a week ago. Who knew if he’d even made it back to King Bain’s castle yet.
“What did you say?” Tanvir asked from where he kept stride just behind her.
“Nothing,” Evelayn said more loudly.
“Do you mind if we rest a moment? I need a drink of water.”
Evelayn slowed down and then stopped. They had circled the castle a couple of times already, making a wide loop through the surrounding forest, staying close to the trees and avoiding Solas, to the northwest of the castle, as well. It was difficult to tell exactly where they were with the thick fog obscuring their vision in all directions, and Evelayn shivered involuntarily, her mind going back to the last time they’d run—and been attacked. With everything that had come afterward, she’d completely forgotten about the three Dark Draíolon who had found them and tried to assassinate them both. Had they come through the Undead Forest, too? Had they been part of King Bain’s plan—but failed?
“Are you cold?” Tanvir asked, holding out his flagon to her, when she shivered again.
“No.” She took a quick drink of water and handed it back. “The fog just made me nervous, considering what happened last time we went running. Maybe it was a mistake not to bring my sentries, after all.”
“We protected ourselves then, and we could do it again. But now you have a battalion patrolling the edge of the Undead Forest—no Draíolon should get through without our knowledge.”
“True,” Evelayn agreed, rolling her shoulders to relax slightly. She was overtired and overwrought—her nerves were always on edge.
“Your Maj—um, Evelayn.” He quickly changed when she shot him a look. “Do you still wish me to call you by your given name when we’re in private?”
“Of course.”
“All right.” He took a deep breath. “Evelayn, I had an idea this morning as I was getting ready to go running. It would be … risky. But I think it could work.”
Evelayn’s pulse leapt. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting him to say, but that wasn’t it. “How risky?”
“Very.”
Evelayn pursed her lips. She didn’t like the sound of very risky. But if it would work …
“Tell me.”
“They’ll never agree to this,” Evelayn said with a shake of her head.
“You said it yourself, if we have no other choice, they’ll have to agree to it.”
They were quiet for a long moment as she studied the ground intently, not daring to meet his gaze. Finally, she spoke: “It will have to be me.”
“No.” His response was immediate. “Absolutely not.” Tanvir stepped in front of her, filling her vision. “I never intended it to be you who went. I’ll go if you wish, but you must stay here where it’s safe.”
“Until Bain is defeated, safety is only an illusion that we comfort ourselves with to sleep at night.” Evelayn wrapped her arms around herself. “She’s an Ancient. If the legends are true, she has more power than any Draíolon other than a royal, and she hates to be disturbed. If I send someone in my stead, they could be tortured or killed for daring to enter her lair. It has to be me. I can’t be the cause of any more death. Not when I could have prevented it.”
She stared forward unseeingly and nearly jumped when Tanvir softly touched her chin, tilting her face to his.
“This was not what I intended when I decided to tell you my idea. I never would have brought it up if I thought you would take it upon yourself to do it.”
“Then I’m glad you didn’t think it through completely, because it will work. And so far, it’s our only hope.”
They stood so close together that she could feel his warm breath on her cheeks. But it was desperation that lurked in Tanvir’s amber eyes, not desire, and his jaw tightened at her vehemence. “I’m sorry, Evelayn.”
She pulled her face free from his grip. “Don’t apologize again. I can’t take it.”
Tanvir reached out to cup her cheek, forcing her to turn back to him. Their gazes met and held. When he brushed his thumb across her lip, Evelayn’s mouth parted involuntarily. She could barely draw breath into her lungs.
“That’s not what I meant.” His voice was even rougher than his skin. “By the Light, Ev, I’ve never felt anything like what I feel when I’m with you. I want you so much, it terrifies me. I want to make you happy … but I can’t. As much as I wish I could, I know—”
“Stop,” Evelayn spoke against his thumb, which still lingered at the corner of her mouth. “Stop telling me that you know better than I do what would make me happy or not. My whole life, everyone has always told me what I can or can’t do—what will make me happy or not. Or rather, what will make my people happy or not. Can’t I just have this? This one thing, with you, that’s just for me?”
“Evelayn,” her name was a low growl deep in his throat, a husky sound that sent a corresponding reverberation through her body. He closed his eyes briefly, his fingers stroking down her cheek. Waves of longing spread down her neck to the rest of her body. “Forgive me,” he whispered. “Forgive me.”
“For wha—”
Evelayn’s question was cut short when Tanvir’s mouth closed over her own. She froze in shock—hardly able to believe he’d truly done it—and he immediately pulled back.
“Was I wrong to—I thought—”