Three hours later, I sat on the couch, accounting ledger in my lap and my hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. I’d called out of work for the next two nights and asked my manager to cover my shift. I hadn’t wanted to leave Lucas alone. Earlier, Lucas had fallen asleep, and I hadn’t wanted to spoil the moment by slipping out of his arms and waking him. I’d lain there, enjoying the feel of his arms around me as his breathing evened . . . and I’d accidentally drifted off as well. When I’d woken up in his arms, I’d been torn between wanting to smile and giving in to sheer panic.
If he knew that he’d slept beside me, he’d push me away even more than he already had. Something about that intimacy scared the crap out of him, and I had to respect that. I might have stupidly fallen in love with him, despite his telling me not to, but that love didn’t make me stupid. He’d made it very clear that he didn’t want to sleep with me, just like he’d made it perfectly clear that he would never care about me.
So I’d climbed out of bed, gotten dressed, and decided to act as if it had never happened. To him, it probably hadn’t, since he’d been out cold.
It was my dirty little secret.
Footsteps sounded outside the door, followed by four knocks in a row. “Hello? Heidi? It’s me, Chris. Let me in. Lucas didn’t give me a new key yet.”
I set the ledgers aside, smoothed my shirt over my stomach, and made my way to the door. When I got there, I cracked it open and peeked through, making sure he was alone. He was. “Hey. What’s up?”
“I got you guys pizza.” He held the white box higher. “Pepperoni, Lucas’s favorite. I figured he needed it after today.”
I opened the door and crossed my arms in front of me. It felt weird letting him in, even though he was clearly an ally. I hadn’t forgotten how we’d met. “Thanks.”
“I got beer, too.” He walked past me, leaving the faint scent of Old Spice aftershave in his wake. After setting the pizza and a six-pack of Sam Adams on the table, he turned to me. Something of my feelings must have shown on my face, because he rubbed his jaw and said, “You don’t like me much, do you?”
I lifted a shoulder and leaned on the closed door, hand on the knob. “Does it really matter if I do or don’t?”
He walked over to me, stopping a few feet short. Close enough for eye contact, but not close enough to make me feel the urge to defend myself . . . again. This time, if he made a move, I’d be ready. And he’d get a knee to the nuts. “Look, I’m sorry I tackled you to the floor.”
I choked on a laugh. “Uh, thanks?”
“I’m serious.” He shoved a hand through his brown hair and stared at me. This close, I saw he had little flecks of dark green in his eyes. I’d never seen anything like it. “I know I came across like a dick, but I was just looking out for my buddy. He doesn’t have a lot of people in his corner, but he has me. He’s always had me and always will.”
Sagging against the door, I bit down on my tongue. What he said, and how he said it, struck home with me. I didn’t really know what that felt like. Lucas was lucky to have someone who cared about him that much. “I know why you did what you did. It’s fine.”
He rested a hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure, doll?”
“Yes, of course.”
The door opened and Lucas came out, yawning. He had on a loose pair of gray sweats and no shirt. “Heidi? Where are—?” He saw me and Chris standing together. “Oh. There you are.”
“Hey.” Chris dropped his hand instantly. “You’re up.”
“Yeah.” Lucas fisted his hands and locked those bright green eyes on me. “Everything okay out here, darlin’?”
“Y-yes, of course.” I smiled. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“He had his hand on you,” Lucas pointed out. “For starters.”
Chris sighed. “Don’t go getting jealous, now. I wasn’t doing anything like that. We were just—”
“I know.” Lucas frowned at both of us. “I didn’t think she was. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t about to tackle her to the floor again.”
We all fell silent.
Chris cleared his throat. “I brought up beer and pizza, so you have good timing. Sorry if my knock woke you up, but I don’t have a key anymore.”
“Thanks, man.” Lucas walked to the window and peeked out, his shoulders hard and straight. “Your key is by the door.”
Chris walked over and grabbed the gold key, holding it up and nodding once. “Got it.”
Lucas still didn’t turn around. “Everything quiet out there?”
“So far.”
“Good. Thanks for keeping watch while I slept the whiskey off.”
Chris nodded once. “Anytime, man. You know that.”
“I do.” He turned back to us. “Thanks, again, for coming.”
I recognized a dismissal when I saw one.
So, apparently, did Chris.
He headed for the door, zipping his brown leather jacket up. “Hey, by the way, Tate wants you to supervise the drop at the docks tomorrow at eleven, and then you need to be at the meeting afterward. It wasn’t a request. He said be there.”
I frowned. “He can’t. He’s still recovering.”
“He doesn’t have a choice,” Chris said.
“I can talk for myself,” Lucas interjected, his voice rock hard. “I’ll be there.”
I gritted my teeth, watching the men say their good-byes. As soon as the door shut behind Chris and we were alone, I let loose on him. “You were literally just shot, and you’re going to go back out there? Are you insane? What if they attack you again? You’re weak. You can’t fight back.”