“And personally?” he asks, his eyebrows cocked and his eyes begging for answers.
“I don’t know,” I blurt out.
Silence fills the space between us, and I can see the vein throbbing in his neck. A flush crawls up the side of his face, and he clenches his fists together.
I can’t help but remind him, “You’re the one who didn’t want to label us. So let’s leave it at that, okay?”
His blues eyes seethe with anger. With a nod, he finally responds, “Great. We don’t know anything other than that you work for me.”
I raise my chin, feeling obstinate. “Yep, that’s about right.”
He shakes his head. “Why do you shut me out, Saige?”
“Why do you care?” With every bitter word, I feel him slowly beginning to withdraw.
“Because I care about you. I think I’ve made that pretty clear.” His face goes from angry to hurt. I can see the confusion and pain. Even sad, he’s the best-looking man I’ve ever seen. His face is cleanly shaven and, even without his smile, I can almost see the indent of his dimple. He speaks before I have a chance to respond. “It’s also abundantly clear you don’t feel the same as I do.”
I don’t know what to say in response to him. The hard lines of his jaw move as he clenches his teeth. I want to tell him that he does mean something to me, but I’m too afraid to even admit that to myself, let alone him.
Stepping around me, he grabs his cell phone off the kitchen counter where it was sitting next to mine. “Get some rest today, Saige. We’ll see you in the office tomorrow.” Then he storms off toward the door and, before I even register what’s happening, he’s gone. Only seconds later, my heart sinks to my stomach, and I feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes.
“It’s for the best,” I tell myself, grabbing my phone and heading back to my bedroom. Evelyn wasn’t lying when she said I had eighty-seven missed calls from him. In fact, it was eighty-nine and twenty text messages. I don’t bother reading them before I shut down my phone and toss it on the nightstand. Avoidance. It’s what I do best.
Morning turns into afternoon, which turns into evening. A lightning show outside illuminates my dark bedroom as I lie in bed and watch the rolling clouds move in. Summer storms are my favorite thing and remind me so much of home. My heart still aches for those summer nights on the farm in North Dakota.
I pull my phone from the nightstand and power it on. No new text messages or voicemails. I hover over the contact titled home and press it. Three rings before I hear the click. A deep breath, and finally I hear my mom’s voice.
“Hello?” Her soft voice fills the other end of the line.
“Hi, Mom,” I say, trying not to get choked up. Just hearing her voice has me wanting to cry.
“Saige!” I can hear her smiling.
“I wasn’t sure if you were working tonight, so I thought I’d chance a call. I’m glad I did.”
“I miss you so much, baby girl. How is everything in Chicago?” In the background, I hear the dining room chair scrape against the wood floor of the kitchen. She must be sitting down at the dining room table like she always does when she talks on the phone.
“It’s going.” It’s falling apart is what I really want to tell her, but I’m not sure telling her that I’m sleeping with my boss and the owner of the company would go over well. In fact, I’m positive it wouldn’t.
“You don’t sound very convincing.” She knows me. “What’s wrong, Saige?”
My voice cracks as I bite back my emotion. “I miss you, the farm, and Murphy so much.”
She sighs. “That old mutt is sitting on his dog bed in the corner. He misses you too, and so do I.” What I wouldn’t do to curl up in my old bed with Murph snuggled up next to me like he used to do. Every hurt, every pain, and every heartache I ever had Murphy tried to take away as we lay in my bed together.
“What else, Saige? It’s more than missing home.”
The lump forms instantly, and I choke back tears. It doesn’t do me any good trying to fight them.
“Saige,” she says quietly.
“I’m not sleeping well again. I miss him so much, Mom.” A loud sob escapes and the tears begin to fall.
Her voice is concerned yet comforting. “I know you do, honey. So do I. You were doing so well before you left. What happened?”
“I think it’s just being here. In Chicago. This was his city. This place was his dream.” My voice cracks as I try to explain myself.
She sighs loudly and lowers her voice. “Then live his dream for him—for you. Don’t be sad; be happy that you get to experience the city he loved so much.”
I nod as if she can see me and take a deep, cleansing breath. “I love you, Mama.”
“I love you more, sweet Saige, and I miss you so much. Tell me something good.”
“Hmm . . . I’m still loving my job and I get to work with such interesting clients, Mom.”
“That’s fantastic. Loving your job makes it so much easier to go to work every day. Are you dating anyone?”
Thank God she can’t see me because I almost choke before I blurt out, “No. No dates here.”