“Not every night,” Jamie teased as he got to his feet. “But I can always tell when you have. You come in here with that sloppy grin on your face. You’d think this was the first time you’d fallen in love or something.”
Duff’s breath stuttered in his chest. “It is.”
“What? What about Bess? I know Eileen was batshit crazy, but Bess?”
“Yeah, not even with Bess. It simply didn’t ever happen. Didn’t really think I was capable after that, to be honest, and was maybe a bit doubtful before. But Layla could change a man’s mind on just about anything.”
Jamie let out a low whistle. “You really do have it bad—every bit as badly as I did over Summer Grace. Not that I haven’t seen it coming.” Jamie grinned at him. “And not that I won’t take great joy in every moment of your suffering. But maybe I didn’t quite believe you were capable, either. Don’t mean to insult you. I’m just amused at your expense, cousin.”
“Gee. Fucking thanks for nothing, cousin.”
Jamie gave him a firm slap on the back. “Personally, I think it’s good for you.”
“You wouldn’t have said so a year ago.”
“A year ago I still had my head up my ass.”
“Ha! True enough. Still do a bit, in my humble opinion,” Duff grumbled.
“Don’t worry—Summer Grace has me on a training program. She’ll have me in shape in no time. But don’t say anything—I’m supposed to be blissfully unaware.”
Duff shook his head, then ran a hand over his stubbly scalp. “All right. All joking aside, though, is it bad that I’m having a hard time going five minutes without thinking of her? That no matter how damn tired I am, all I want to do after we’re done here is go see her? Curl up with her? And I want all that shit as much as I want to have sex with her, or even play with her. Does that sound right to you, cousin?” he demanded.
“Yeah, sounds about right for a guy in love.”
“Fuck. That’s what I thought. How do you handle this shit?”
Jamie shrugged. “You have to tell her, for a start.”
“Ah, and that’s fucking helpful. Like I don’t already know that. It’s making my stomach hurt not to tell her—eating a hole in my gut, if truth be told. It’s like trying to hold mercury in your hands—all that’ll happen is you’ll burn the hell out of your skin before it slips out. I don’t want it to slip out. I need to think about how to tell her, what to say. When to say it. And good Christ, I sound like a fecking girl, don’t I?”
Jamie nodded, his grin wide. “And your Scottish accent just made you nearly impossible to understand.”
“Great. Fine. You laugh your ass off while I’m here suffering and letting my heart bleed all over the floor.”
“As long as you mop up, I don’t mind. But, Duff, the only way to really clean up this whole thing is to let her know how you feel. Or you can keep on torturing yourself and bitching to me about it. Your choice.”
“You sure there’s no third option?”
“What? Afraid of a girl?”
“Damn right I am.”
Jamie paused, nodding his head. “Yeah. Probably smart in this case.”
“Like I said, you’re a big help.”
“I’m giving it my best shot. Seriously.”
“Okay. Okay. I’ll do it. I’m going to Layla’s place, and telling her how I feel. Let the chips fall where they may.”
“If you duck, they won’t take an eye out,” Jamie joked.
“Very funny.”
Jamie patted him on the back once more. “All kidding aside, good luck, cousin. I mean it. She’s pretty awesome. I think you guys are really good together.”
“Yeah, yeah. This is too much girl talk for me. I’m going.” He gave Jamie a good slap on the back. “I’ll keep you posted, cousin. Maybe.”
His stomach was churning on the drive over to Layla’s house, and he blasted some old-school Sex Pistols to take his mind off it. By the time he arrived at her door he was feeling confident and driven—he had to tell her, and he felt fairly certain she was on the same page.
He knocked and when she opened the door he was surprised to see her looking wan and a little wrung-out.
“Hi, lovely.”
He bent to give her a kiss but instead of standing on her toes to offer her lips, as she usually did, she turned her head, giving him her cheek.
“You sick, princess? What’s wrong?”
“I haven’t been feeling too well, actually. But I’m glad you’re here—I’ve been waiting for you to get done with work. I need to talk to you, Duff.”
“All right. What’s up?”
“Can we sit down?”
“Of course.”
She sat on her big couch and he settled next to her.
“So . . .” she began. “I don’t even know how to say this.”
He reached out and took her hand. It was cold in his. “What is it? Are you all right?”
“Yes. No. No, not really.” She paused, biting down on her lip. “I’m not okay, Duff. I’m not. And I don’t know how I will be. Because . . . because do you remember that night a few weeks ago? The night we had that one little slipup? The one we agreed couldn’t possibly do any harm? Not just that one time, you said. Or maybe I said it. I don’t even know. But the thing is . . . we were wrong.”
His gut did a hard flip as he took in what she was saying.
“Are you . . . ?”
She locked her gaze with his. “I’m pregnant, Duff. I’m fucking pregnant and . . . I think my life is over. But don’t worry. You don’t have to do anything here. I can handle this on my own. And I think that’s best. I really do.”
A fat tear spilled down her cheek, and all he could think of at that moment was how utterly miserable she looked, and that he had to do something about it.
“We’ll figure this out. Don’t cry.” He took her in his arms, and her body was stiff, resisting, but he wasn’t about to let her go. And he still had something important to say—maybe even more important now. “Layla, it’ll be all right. It will be. Because I have something to say, too. I need to tell you that I love you. I love you,” he repeated.
? ? ?
LAYLA COULDN’T BELIEVE what he’d just said to her. And she couldn’t answer for several long moments, or maybe it was minutes as a high-pitched ringing started in her ears. A million thoughts were racing through her mind, but the main thrust of it all was “I can’t believe you’re saying this to me now, Duff!”