It’s how art works. But, to the campus Left, it’s just another form of racism.
One of reasons college students get so upset about everything is the poor quality of teaching they receive. Well-educated people are generally unshockable. The reason progressive students—and most of the media—get so riled up about me is that they don’t know anything. They have no intellectual hinterland and no curiosity about the world around them or about anything that has preceded their own lives. Centuries of history, culture and wisdom are dismissed as the products of “dead white men.”
The smuggest, supposedly smartest people in America are actually among the most hilariously stupid and poorly schooled.
RISE OF THE DANGEROUS FAGGOT
Like most power-mad cowards, leftists made desperate attempts to reassert control from the group’s inviting me to their campuses. Their primary hope was that university administrations, which were often bursting with leftists themselves, would stop me from appearing.
At UC Irvine, administrators allowed our event to proceed. I, a gay guy, who loves black men, wore police fetish gear while scolding Black Lives Matter for not giving a shit about black lives. No one else in pop culture is making subversive statements like that anymore.
After I left UC Irvine, the College Republicans group was slapped with a one-year ban by the university for having the temerity to invite me back. Their justification for the ban was that the College Republicans had failed to provide a certificate of insurance for the security hired for my initial event. Although, given that the college administrators issued their ban just one hour after a meeting with College Republican president Ariana Rowlands, during which she revealed her intention to invite me to UC Irvine a second time, the excuse was suspect from the start.
After heavy coverage in Breitbart and the conservative media, as well as a terrific show of force by Rowlands, who refused to compromise with the administration, UC Irvine eventually engaged in a humiliating u-turn, lifting the suspension on the College Republicans and allowing me to return.
As my tour gathered steam, the tactics used by frightened administrators to stop me became more underhanded and slippery. At the University of Alabama, administrators hit my student hosts with a $7,000 security fee at the last minute. Again, after negative coverage in the conservative media and some stern lawyering, the university said that the College Republicans would not face any expense for security, and that they had been “trying all along” to help them host a successful event.
Other universities tried similarly slimy methods. The University of Miami cancelled over “security concerns,” which mysteriously arose mere days before my event was scheduled to take place. The University of Maryland unwisely decided to copy the University of Alabama, slapping student organizers with a $6,500 security fee a few days before my event. Their defiance won’t last. I’m coming for them, and they know it. We will hold an event at the University of Maryland, come hell or high water, because they are a public institution and they are prohibited by law from denying their students the right to hear differing opinions. The student hosts brave enough to invite me, and earn the enmity of their administrations, deserve large amounts of praise.
Despite the road bumps, by fall 2016 I could tell we were making a difference. This is a movement, and it’s going to take back American college campuses. And it’s already so much fun.
THE FAG BUS ROLLS IN
Picture a tour bus. You know, like the ones rock stars and rappers have. A beautiful, sleek steel beast, coated in black. Only, the picture on the side isn’t of a singer or a supermodel; it’s a giant picture of my face, staring directly at you, beside bold text that reads “DANGEROUS FAGGOT.” I don’t think the word FAGGOT has ever been printed so large before.
By the time the second leg of my tour rolled around in September 2016, I was a superstar. So naturally, I got my own bus. I decided to call it “Anita,” because I knew the bus would end up more famous than GamerGate antagonist Anita Sarkeesian. (I was right.)
I used to think I was so hot that nothing could make it easier for me to pick up dates. It turns out I was wrong. Having a tour bus with your face on it helps tremendously. So does leaking a tour rider to the press that includes two-dozen de-thorned white roses, fifty doves, four topless Abercrombie and Fitch models, a snow-cone machine and horse-oil hand lotion.220
Anita the Fag Bus was soon spotted on dozens of college campuses, until she was eventually retired after being vandalized by Californian anarchists.
After my early successes in triggering America’s college crybabies, the invitations came pouring in, so we staged a 38-date tour of the entire country. We began in Texas, wound our way through Louisiana’s coastline down into Florida, and then drove up through Georgia, Alabama, and the Carolinas, leaving a trail of furious college lefties and jubilant college conservatives in our wake.
This time, we were doing it properly. I had a full camera crew, a creative director, a speechwriter, a personal trainer, and a small Mexican dude I kept around to carry my bags and manage my vast wardrobe. We were prepared for anything.
At first, protests were surprisingly disappointing. Then again, we were travelling across the south, which is Milo country. Many was the time in Texas we were stopped by a burly, aviator-clad biker or a cowboy-hat wearing pickup truck driver for autographs, even when I toppled out of the bus into a truck stop wearing a silk robe or a dress. Exactly the sort of people that Democrats call bigots and homophobes were stopping by the Dangerous Faggot’s bus to get his autograph.
Contrary to the progressive stereotype of bigoted, backwater hicks, my audience is far more open-minded than a leftist safe-space dweller. When I sold out Louisiana State and tried to troll my own audience by appearing as my drag queen alter-ego, Ivana Wall, they gave me a standing ovation.
The groundswell of attention that the Rutgers incident brought to my tour forced organizers to move my lectures to bigger venues. The 400-seat venue at Bucknell University filled to capacity in just 15 minutes and more students were turned away at the door. At Louisiana State, we sold out a 1,200-seater in just 48 hours. Everywhere I go there are lines around the block.