His mouth curved up at that. “Why do you say that?” He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and slid it across to her.
“She plans on things and just expects everyone to go along with her. She’s a bulldozer when she wants to be.”
“I didn’t realize you two had spent much time together.” More than anything he was surprised his mother hadn’t said anything about spending time with Tegan. He knew her from Kimmy’s shop but his mom hadn’t mentioned Tegan other than in passing.
“I redesigned a few websites for some of the charities she volunteers at and I’ve seen her in action. She gets people to agree to stuff and makes them think it was their idea to start with. And she comes into the shop a lot. I think she’s just as frustrated with Callan as everyone else. I once heard her on the phone telling someone that Kimmy would be her daughter-in-law if her son could just pull his head out of his butt.”
“I have a feeling you’re using nicer language than she did,” he said dryly.
She let out a short laugh. “I am. Your mom’s feisty.” She paused. “Can I ask you something personal?”
With his back to her, he pulled out a couple of plates for dinner. Inwardly he braced for the inevitable questions about his ex. “Sure.”
“You said you were in the Marines. Did you ever—and if this is too personal, feel free to ignore me—but you must have seen gunfire and explosions and…”
Surprised, he turned to find her staring at him, looking miserable. He wasn’t sure where she was going with the conversation but it wasn’t what he’d expected. Normally he didn’t talk about his time overseas. Not to civilians anyway. They always wanted to ask jackass questions, like had he killed anyone or how many people he had killed. Like it was any of their fucking business. It was clear she wasn’t asking him questions out of a morbid sense of curiosity, though.
He set the plates down and went to sit next to her. “What are you trying to ask?” he said, taking one of her hands in his. Her skin was soft. She let out a little shiver and he didn’t think it was because she was cold.
“I honestly don’t know. I feel like a mess right now. I know you must have seen way worse stuff than a car bomb so I feel stupid even talking about it. I’m just feeling off kilter, I guess. Really off balance. Whenever I close my eyes, all I can see, feel, and hear is the explosion. And if I let myself really think about what could have happened, I break out into a sweat.” She pulled her hand free, wrapped her arms around herself, and started to shiver.
Fuck it. He pulled her into his arms, not stopping at a simple hug. Some intrinsic part of him needed to make this better for her, needed to take away all the bullshit. He tugged her right into his lap, much to her surprise if the little yelp she let out was any indication.
Her petite frame fit perfectly against him. She curled up to him, still shaking a little, but not too badly as he tightened his grip. She laid her head on his chest, letting him hold her. “It’s scary to think that I could have been in the car or right next to it when it blew.”
“It’s going to be scary for a while. You might have nightmares about it.” He certainly had. Occasionally he still did. That shit never went away. Not truly.
Sighing, she didn’t respond.
“I think you’ll be okay, though.” After everything she’d told Duarte and him about being on the run from a gangster for two years, he had a lot of respect for her. That kind of life was hard, and she’d handled herself well because she was still here. She was a survivor and she hadn’t let her life get her down.
The Marines had been tough and he’d spent a lot of years in the worst shitholes, but he’d always had his men, people watching out for him. She’d had no one and he hated that. Even if it was stupid, he was determined to be the one who had her back now. Even though he didn’t want to analyze exactly why he was so determined to keep her safe and close to him. Because she was the kind of woman who could destroy him if he let her in.
She sighed again. “I will. I’m just feeling a little sorry for myself right now.”
“You’re allowed to.” Her sweet scent teased him. Whatever shampoo she used was subtle, some sort of vanilla and lavender combination. Holding her close like this was something he’d imagined countless times, though under very different circumstances—naked ones.
Ever since he’d met her all those months ago he’d been drawn to her. She had such a sunny disposition and a lot of sass. She was the opposite of his ex in every way. He hadn’t wanted to be attracted to Tegan, hadn’t wanted to be attracted to anyone after what he’d gone through. Now he was losing the fight to keep his distance from her.