She took hold of my arm. “Come home. I’ll explain everything there.” I followed her through the airport. We stayed silent in the car, letting Zane tell me about the last nine months and what I’d missed. But all I could hear was “Daddy’s in the hospital.”
When we got home, Tina sent Zane into his room. I sat down in the kitchen, and Tina made coffee. She leaned against the counter, and it wasn’t until I saw her back shaking that I knew she was crying.
I jumped from my seat, still dressed in my fatigues, and spun her around. I towered above her, but her tiny body leaned into my chest. And she fucking broke her heart. She sobbed and sobbed until she was able to breathe enough to say, “He never came back, Xavier. The man who returned was not my husband. He was not your brother.”
I clenched my eyes shut, remembering him on that floor in the back room of the insurgents’ building. “What happened?”
“He came home, but he would sit at our door every night with a rifle in his hand. He said he knew they would be coming back for him. He said he was gonna kill them before they got to us.”
“Fuck,” I said and heard my own voice crack.
“It got too much. I had to take Zane to my sister’s. I had no choice. Dev was making our boy too scared to come home, so I sent him to Claire. I tried, X. I tried to help him, but it became too much.”
“So they locked him up?” I asked through clenched teeth.
“Claire and Tom had him evaluated. He was put in a hospital. He’s been there ever since.”
“Which hospital?”
Tina told me. I jumped on my Harley, and I tore out onto the road from the house to the hospital. Hospital staff thanked me for my service as I ran through the hallways of the wards, still dressed in my fatigues. I wasn’t supposed to visit, but when I told the nurses I’d just got back from Iraq, they let me in.
The smell of bleach hit me as I pushed through the door of the room. Everything was white and cold-looking. Devin was in the nearest bed. My heart fucking broke when I saw his lifeless eyes just staring up at the ceiling. “Dev?” Slowly, I approached the bed.
His head rolled to the side. His hair was still cut short, but that was all that was normal. My brother was half the size he’d been when he was healthy. Scars marred his skin, but worse, the life was gone from his eyes.
Like Tina had said, he was there in body, but not in mind. My hand shook as I reached out and took hold of his fingers. Devin didn’t even flinch. He just kept staring as if he wasn’t seeing me at all.
I felt my lips shaking and my vision blurring with tears. “It’s me, Dev. X. I just got back off my tour today.” Dev breathed, he stared, but he said nothing. I stared up at the clear bag beside him, wondering what the fuck they were pumping into his veins. Then I saw the inside of his arms and the scars that were there. Mark after mark showing where he had injected himself with smack.
“Dev, fuck.” I slumped down to the bed. I ran my finger over his hand. “I got them, Dev,” I said quietly. “I got them all. They’re dead. I made damn sure of it.”
I looked up at my brother, my motherfucking hero, but his eyes were just as lifeless as they had been since I’d walked in. So I sat in silence until the nurse came in and told me my time was up. I kissed Dev on his head, then got to my feet. Just as I was about to leave the room, a sound came from the other person in the room. I looked over to see a kid, around my age, maybe younger. He was strapped to the bed by his hands and feet, just like Dev. I found myself walking closer to his bed, reading his name chart.
Josiah Cade.
His eyes were wide open, and so fucking black they didn’t look real. He had drugs keeping him sedated too, but still he fought against the straps as I stood by his side. “What the hell brought you here too?” I asked, and the guy stopped thrashing. When he stilled I saw he had slashes on his arms. A fuck-ton of slashes. But his eyes were on me. Like he was trying to say something to me with his black gaze.
And I couldn’t take it.
None of this shit.
Turning on my heel, I left the hospital and drove to the nearest bar. A biker bar.
One week later I was the newest prospect for the Hades Hangmen. And then things got even fucking worse . . .
“You do not have to keep going.” Phebe pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“It got worse,” I said and let Phebe hold me tighter. “I fucked up, and that’s when things went completely fucking wrong.”
“AK—”
“No! I . . . I want to tell you.” I looked up into Phebe’s blue eyes, and I knew it was time. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore . . .
“We got your lodge, yeah?” Vike asked as we snuck into the grounds and below the window.
“Tina’s gone to the coast with her sister and Zane. She won’t be there all week. She’ll never know he’s gone.”
Vike nodded, then held out his hands for me to step on. “Come on then, asshole. Let’s get your brother out.”
I hauled myself through the window of my brother’s room and heard Viking follow behind. “Shit, that’s him?” Vike said as I approached the bed that held Dev.
Dev’s eyes were just as spaced as every fucking time I came to see him. Months and months in this hell and not one bit of progress had been made.
I took the IV from Dev’s hand and threw back the covers from his body. I leaned down and scooped him in my arms. He weighed fuck all. “Come on.” I moved to the window.
Just as I was about to leave, I heard a noise come from Josiah in the bed opposite. When I looked over, he was watching us, those black eyes lost. In all the months I’d been visiting Dev, I hadn’t seen one person come for him. To see him. The fucker was alone.
“Vike,” I said on impulse. “Take Dev.”
“What?”
“Do it,” I ordered. Vike took Dev and climbed through the window as I crossed the room and freed Josiah from his restraints. I climbed out the window, leaving it open behind me so the kid could escape. We ran across the field and into the hidden truck. In the cover of darkness, we gunned it to the lodge and carried Dev inside.
We put Dev in a room. He was out like a light, too pulled under by the drugs to communicate. I sat beside him, holding his hand. But the longer I watched Dev, all I could think of was that Josiah kid we’d left behind. “You think he got out okay?” I asked Vike who sat beside me.
“Who?”
“Josiah. The kid I untied.”
Vike shrugged. “No idea.” He pointed at Dev. “So what the fuck so we do now?”
“We gotta wean Dev off whatever he’s on.” We watched Dev all night, but he hardly made a move. Then as night turned into a new day, I called up a prospect and told him to come watch Dev while I made a last minute run.