“Do we really want to put JT through this?”
My eyebrows rose as I crossed my own arms over my chest, trying to imitate his stance. “It wasn’t my idea.”
“I’m aware of that.” He inclined his head just slightly. “But we could end it. If we could come up with some sort of compromise—“
“I’m not interested in a compromise. I don’t want you coming back in a few months, dragging us through this all over again if we can bring everything to a solid bit of closure now.”
Harrison nodded, dropping his hands to slide them into his pockets. “And if it goes against you?”
Pain sliced through my chest at the thought. I didn’t know what to say to that.
“What if we worked out some sort of agreement?” he asked softly. “What if we shared custody? I would be willing to work with whatever schedule you thought was best.”
The idea was tempting. I have to admit that. But it would be an agreement that would have to be built on trust as much as legal maneuvering. And I wasn’t sure trusting Harrison was something I could do right now.
And I’d made a promise to my mom long before her death that if anything happened to them, I would do all I could to protect JT. Would making a deal with the devil constitute everything? Or was that just giving in before I’d done all I could to protect my brother?
Harrison stepped toward, perhaps aware of the war going on inside of me.
“I want what’s best for JT, Penelope,” he said quietly. “I don’t think dragging him to court is the best thing.”
And that cut through me. I can’t really say why, but his words hurt more than I thought I was capable of hurting at this point. I looked up at him, the hurt only spreading as I took in the compassion radiating from his eyes.
“You started this. I have no choice but to finish it.”
I turned away and stormed back to the house, brushing away angry tears as I slammed the door behind me.
“You okay?” JT asked as he peeked out from around the corner of the kitchen archway.
“Fine.”
He stared at me, his jaw working like he wanted to say something. But then he took a swig of his soda and stepped back as I brushed past him into the kitchen.
“I met my aunt today,” he said.
I glanced at him as I stabbed at the steaks and turned them over.
“Aunt?”
“Yeah. Harrison has a sister.”
Another thing I hadn’t known about him.
“What she like?”
“She’s really cool. Maybe you’ll meet her tomorrow.”
“Maybe.” I grabbed my own soda out of the fridge and leaned back against the counter. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”
JT shrugged. “A little, I guess.”
“It shouldn’t take long. But Jack said we probably won’t get a decision right away.”
JT didn’t say anything. He just stood there, his crazy long legs stretched out in front of him as he leaned back against the counter across from me. I watched him sip his soda and found myself wondering why I’d never noticed the resemblance between him and Harrison. He really did look like him now that I knew what to look for. His dark hair, the curls that were so unruly when he let it grow out. The shape of his face, the lankiness of his height. It was all so subjective—each of them wore it a little different. But there was enough similarity that it was a little surreal to me.
“I know this has all been pretty crazy,” I said. “But can I ask you what you think about Harrison? As your biological father, I mean.”
JT shrugged. “I love Mom and Dad,” he said, raising those pale blues to me. “But there’s always been this thought at the back of my mind… that someone out there decided, even before I was born, that I wasn’t good enough for them.”
“That’s not what it was, JT.”
“I know.” He sighed as he ran his finger over the rim of his soda can. “But it was there anyway. And then Mom and Dad died and you came to take care of me, and I knew you weren’t happy about it. You never wanted to give up your life in New York. And that made me feel like I was some sort of burden to you.”
I shook my head, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of his words. I wanted to know what he thought.
“And then…”
He looked up at me, tears glistening in his eyes. “I don’t want to leave you, Penny. But I want to get to know my dad. I want to meet the rest of his family—my family—and I want to know where I fit in. I want to see what my life might have been like if I’d never been adopted.”
All I could do was nod. I didn’t want him to know the storm he’d just unleashed inside of me. I didn’t want to hurt him even a fraction of the way he just hurt me.
I turned back to the steaks and pulled them off the grill.
“Time to eat,” I said in a voice I didn’t even recognize.
Chapter 16
Harrison