“You left me when I needed you most.”
I saw the pain burst open; I saw the rawness of his heart right there in the middle of some stranger’s house. And it hurt so badly that I needed to get it out. I hit him, not because I wanted to hurt him but because I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I hit him over and over again, slamming my fists against his chest. And he let me, standing there with his arms down at his sides. I hit him until the strength went out of me and my knees buckled. He caught me, like he’d always caught me before that night, before Joshua…he caught me and carried me to the bedroom.
I think his intention was to just leave me on the mattress, but I wrapped my fist in his shirt.
“Please, don’t go.”
He stared at me for a long moment, searching my eyes. And then his lips were on mine, the weight of his body slowly settling on mine. Clothes were just an impediment. We tugged and pulled and ripped, needing to be close, needing to be one together.
It wasn’t until he was inside of me, until we were as close as we could ever be, that the pain in my chest began to dissolve. I wrapped myself around him, refusing to close my eyes, refusing to lose any connection with him. And he was there with me the whole way, his eyes glued to mine even when they filled with tears, even when he collapsed on top of me and cried like a child. I held him, cradled him against me, determined to never let go.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered hours later, as we lay in the darkness, our limbs still tangled together.
“For what?”
“For blaming you. I always knew it wasn’t anything you’d done.”
He kissed the top of my head. “It was no one’s fault but the bastards who attacked him.”
I was quiet for a minute, my finger playing in the fine hair on his chest.
“Kate?”
“I know what started the fight.”
And then it was his turn to be quiet. “What do you mean?” he asked after a few minutes.
“I went with my dad to the district attorney’s office every time they had a meeting. I know what was in the police reports, what the witnesses said. And I know what John Kyle said.”
He held his breath a moment, then took a slow, unsteady exhalation.
“You knew all this time?”
“Yeah. I know Joshua was just trying to defend my honor.”
“Because of me.”
I sat up, surprised to hear those words on his lips. “Not because of you. Because of a mutual choice we made to hide our relationship.” I touched his face, caressed his cheek. “But it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t mine. It was just Joshua being Joshua.”
“If I’d been there—”
“It might have been your funeral we attended that spring.” I settled back down, my head resting on his chest. “It’s stupid, the way fate works. But I’m glad it wasn’t your funeral.”
He tugged me closer against him. “So am I.”
We fell asleep a bit later. And we both slept soundly.
No more bad dreams.
Chapter 24
Donovan
I woke from a sound sleep and found Kate nestled against my chest, her breath warm against my skin. I watched her for a few minutes, happier than I could express to find myself waking beside her each and every morning.
If only this could translate into the real world.
I couldn’t let myself forget that we were still hiding out from some sort of threat. In fact, I was due to call and check in with Ash this morning.
I carefully slid out from under her, sitting silently as I waited for her breathing to return to that deep, satisfied breathing of a soundly sleeping person. When it did, I grabbed my cell phone and a pair of jogging pants and headed out to the back deck.
“Nothing new,” Ash said when I called a few minutes later. “The police think that the explosion was caused by some homemade device placed in the garage. Probably some small device placed near a few gas cans.”
“That seems a little risky.”
“I think this was meant as a warning. The perp was just saying, ‘Hey! Look what I can do!’”
“Yeah, that would be my guess, too.”
“Emily says they have a few suspects, but she doesn’t seem too confident that they’ll make an arrest any time soon.”
“Okay.”
“How are you?” Ash asked. “How are things going out there?”
“She’s had a few little memory breaks, but nothing significant.”
“But it’s a good sign. Means she might recover her memory before too much longer.”
“That’s what she’s hoping.”
Ash was quiet for a second. Then he said, “That wasn’t really what I was asking though.”
“I know it wasn’t.” I cleared my throat. “We’re enjoying your wine collection.”
He chuckled. “Go for it. Someone should be having a little fun right about now.”
Kate was standing in the doorway when I turned to go back inside.
“Any news?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Nothing worth talking about.”
There was a tightness that crossed her face, a tension she was fighting.