Light and shadow painted him as he always had been. I didn’t have to see him to know what I was looking at. Broad shoulders, chiseled jaw, and the strong lines of his face were the first things that came into view. His face, with the scar just below his eye, was both a warrior’s face and beautifully exquisite, at the same time. And his eyes, those ever-changing sometimes brown, sometimes green eyes, were eyes I wanted to get lost in. If he smiled at me they would crinkle ever so slightly, and everything hard and rough about him would instantly soften.
I made sure to keep my eyes anywhere but on him. “Why did you come back? I told you the last time that I wasn’t going to do this back-and-forth anymore. I want you to leave.”
“I never left.” His words were a whisper.
“Don’t lie. You did. You couldn’t handle the truth and you left.”
“That’s not true. I told you, your inability to carry a child doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
My chest constricted and pain stabbed my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. I wasn’t certain my heart was even beating, as many pieces as it was in.
“Look at me.”
At his command, I had to raise my eyes. My head snapped up to completely take him in. And when I did, for a moment, just one, the room went black. I wanted to die. I knew I had been so wrong, and that I should fall to the ground and beg forgiveness. Pinching my eyes closed, I tried to stop them from stinging, but that was useless. I had to see him. I opened my eyes and stared at him through blurry, wavy vision. Before me was a bone-weary man. Logan had a black eye, his head had been shaved, and he was wearing the same clothes he had been wearing on Saturday.
Yet still, when I met his gaze, the heat in his eyes was so intense I thought it would burn right through me.
He took a tentative step my way.
My knees buckled and I had to grab the dresser. “Logan, what happened?” I tried to ask him, but my throat tightened so much my words would only come out as fragments of a whisper.
His voice was gruff as he spoke. “I’m so sorry. I would have been here if I could have. I never would have left you doubting me. You have to believe me.”
The tone in his voice told me nothing he was saying was a lie.
I clenched my hand to my heart and let my painful sobs convey what I couldn’t at this very moment. I didn’t know what happened to him, but I knew he was telling me the truth. Something had happened that had kept him away from me. And here I thought he’d left me. The reality of how wrong I was shattered my already broken heart.
As if reassured I wasn’t going to turn him away, he rushed to me and fell to the ground. He was on his knees and his arms were wrapped tightly around me. “Elle, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks before I could stop them and I, too, crumpled to the floor. “I thought you couldn’t handle what I’d told you and you left me.”
His hands went to my face. “No, no, no. I would never, ever leave you. I love you more than I love anything in this world.”
“Oh, God, Logan, I love you too,” I whispered, and then buried my face in his neck. I let my sobs rise from my belly, and I cried for everything that was happening in my life, and in his. I wanted this man so desperately and I knew he felt the same about me, yet I’d let my own insecurities drive me to doubt that.
“Don’t cry, baby, I’m here. I’m here,” he whispered in a soothing tone.
We stayed like that, in each other’s arms, for a long, long time. When I felt strong enough to pull away, I did. My fingertips traced the discoloration under his eye. My palms caressed his head. Somehow I managed to speak around the painful feeling in my throat. “What happened to you?”
His lips sought my forehead, slid down my temple, eased over to my ear. “Later, can we talk about it later?”
I threw my head back in answer so he could kiss down my neck.
Soft, velvety-smooth lips grazed my skin and left wetness in their wake. As they grazed back up, butterflies swarmed my belly and it felt like they might escape.
When his mouth found mine, he sighed, and his arms went around me as tightly as they could. “I should take a shower.”
“I’ll come with you,” I offered. I just couldn’t bear to be without him.
He shook his head. “I’ll only be five minutes.”
I started to protest, but his finger brushed my lips in the most soft and sensual way so that I knew it wasn’t rejection. But what was it? We’d never been shy about getting naked in front of each other. And for that matter we’d never really cared where we fucked. On the floor, on a table, on the couch, or against the shower wall, unless we were making love; then Logan preferred to be in the bed.
All sense in my mind was gone. Completely demolished by the events that had taken place, and his refusal to allow me to join him made my stomach twist. It was evident something was going on in his head and that didn’t soothe me in the least.
Logan kissed me deeply before he got to his feet. I touched my lips with my fingertips and felt them tingling where his lips had just been. Once standing, he walked over to the open blinds and closed them. Before he left the room to shower in the hall bathroom, he grabbed some clothes out of his drawer.
While he was gone, I settled on the bed and leaned my head against the pillows. The last few days had been a roller coaster of emotions. In the dark of the room, I reflected on my actions and chastised my behavior.