Huge and overpowering, he stood at my bedside. “I begged your mother not to go through with this, Gabrielle. I knew you weren’t a strong enough match. We should have waited for your sister to be cleared.”
“No, we couldn’t wait. The doctors all said time was running out.”
“Nonsense, they didn’t know what they were talking about. Your mother was doing fine. She would have held in there. She was tough, like me.”
He was delusional. Had he always been?
I think he refused to see my mother’s physical weaknesses. “You’re wrong,” I dared to say out loud.
His eyes narrowed on me and his jaw twitched. “No, Gabrielle, you were wrong for agreeing to do this. For encouraging your mother. It was selfish of you to want to take your sister’s place. Now, your mother is dead and I’ll be stuck with you forever.”
His words stung, but I kept on. “It wasn’t about me. She was my mother and I loved her. I only wanted her to get better.”
“And she was my wife.”
Anger roiled in my gut. He’d said that as if it trumped anything I’d said. “She was just another one of your soldiers. Someone to command. You never loved her,” I spat.
He grabbed my chin and jerked it toward him, slapping me hard. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You should have listened to me. And because you didn’t, she’s gone and you have no future. Don’t you see? No man will want you now.”
Although frightened, I wouldn’t let him see it. Instead, I jerked away. Even with tears in my eyes I refused to look anywhere but at him. In his face I saw many things, and I think he might have even had a tear in his own eye. We stared at each other until that one tear slid down his cheek. When I finally looked away, I wondered whether he was crying over my mother being gone or being stuck with me.
It was the only tear I ever saw him shed.
The shrill ring of my phone startled me. Tiny flicks of hope bloomed beneath my skin as I practically skidded for the purse that I’d thrown onto my bed. Fumbling to get it out, I couldn’t help but think I had been wrong about Logan. My hands were shaking as I looked at the screen. The name Michael, not Logan, was what flashed before me. And just like that, all of my hope diminished. But then, what had I thought? That it was Logan, and even though he’d cleared out of my life, he’d miraculously changed his mind?
And what, that I was going to be okay with that?
The thought weakened my knees because yes, I would have been.
“Hello,” I answered as I sat on the still tangled sheets where Logan and I had lain a mere twelve hours ago.
“Elle, hey, are you home?”
Five seconds of silence.
“Elle?”
I composed myself as best I could. “Yes, I am.”
“Great. I just picked Clementine up from Erin’s and she’s been asking for you.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”
“Where’s Heidi?”
“I thought I told you. She quit. She was moving her things out today and I thought it would be best if we weren’t around.”
Concern for Clementine made my chest tighten. “Why? What happened?”
“It just wasn’t working out. The live-in thing isn’t for me. I have someone new starting Monday. I know it’s last minute, but it is Saturday. Any chance you haven’t eaten yet and would like to come over for a late dinner? We can talk about it then.”
The rain had kept me from taking Clementine on our Friday afternoon walk so I hadn’t seen her since Wednesday, and I did miss her. Besides, getting out of here wouldn’t be a bad idea. I tried to control the tremble in my voice. “As a matter of fact, I haven’t eaten. Dinner sounds great.” I had absolutely no appetite, but I did have a need to see Clementine. She was the only stable thing in my life.
“I’m about ten minutes away from your place. I can pick you up.”
“That would be great. I’ll be ready.”
“And Elle, if you haven’t arranged to purchase a new vehicle yet, you can take the Mercedes back until you do.”
Although I knew better than to rely on anyone but myself, I also knew right now that I shouldn’t turn it down. “I’d really appreciate that, Michael, but this time I promise it won’t be for long.”
My hands were still shaking when I hung up the phone. Heartbroken, I absolutely hated what was happening in my life right now. It felt out of control. For so long, it hadn’t been. For so long, it had been just the way I’d planned it. Right now, I felt like that teen under my father’s rule—lost and alone.
Soon enough I’d have saved enough money to make a down payment on a car and could stop relying on other people. Depending on others never ended well.