She pressed her face against my hand. “I’ll understand if you want to end things.”
My breath caught in my throat. Was she kidding me? “How can you even say that?”
“Because I’m broken,” she whispered.
“Broken?”
“Yes, I’m barren. And if we stay together, I can’t have your children. I should have told you a long time ago and I’m so sorry I didn’t.” She said it with such sadness in her voice that it hurt to hear.
Everything about her suddenly became very clear. I understood now more than ever her connection to Clementine. I took her hand. “I’m not him, Elle. I’m not your father, and I’m not your old boyfriend. I’m not going to leave you. I’m not either of them.”
She squeezed her fingers around mine. “I know you’re not them, Logan, and right now it might not seem like a big deal, but it is. You’re younger than I am, don’t forget, so maybe you’re not thinking about a family right now, but someday you will. And this is especially important for you because you’re an only child and it means your last name won’t have a legacy. There will be no one to carry on your family name.”
All I could do was stare at her. She was broken, but not in the way she thought. Actually, I preferred to think she was bent and I could straighten her out the way she was doing it to me. I brought my hands to her face. “If the day comes that we decide it’s time to have children, we’ll adopt.”
She shook her head.
“Elle, it’s done all the time.”
Tears were in her eyes. On her cheeks. Sliding down her face. “Logan, don’t you understand? I can’t have your children and you know this now. You should walk away and find someone else. Someone who can give you a family.”
Taking her other hand, I tugged her closer to me. “Just like you once said, I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry, Elle, but I really don’t see this as a roadblock in our relationship. Not in the slightest bit.”
“You’re not mad I didn’t tell you before?”
My hands cupped her face. “No. This obviously means a lot to you, and finding the strength and courage to finally tell me makes me proud of what we have together. It means you trust me, you really trust me.”
Relief. Hope. Admiration. A myriad of images passed over her features.
The butler bell on the door chimed, surprising me, and I quickly turned around.
“Hey, man, I’ve been calling you,” Declan said, walking in with Peyton and a tray full of coffees.
I leaned in and whispered into Elle’s ear, “We’ll finish talking about this later.”
This time she took my face in her hands. “Think about it, Logan, really think about it. It’s a much bigger deal than you realize.”
With a hug and a kiss to her on the forehead I whispered, “I don’t have to. What you told me doesn’t change anything between us.”
“It should.”
“Stop it,” I scolded. Thinking she was being ridiculous, I kissed her on the lips and pulled away. Then I turned to Declan. “You got me now. What’s up?”
“Miles just called me. Tommy Flannigan was found dead in his cell this morning. Knife to the throat.”
The girls both gasped.
A chill ran through me. Not because the motherfucker was dead. Not because I felt a huge sigh of relief that the shadow that had loomed over me for years was finally gone. But rather, because if his death actually occurred as he predicted, the chances that he was lying about O’Shea killing Lizzy were pretty slim.
“Crazy shit. Right?” Declan said.
My mind was thinking in overdrive. I kissed Elle one more time and then focused on what came next. “Are you busy right now?” I asked Declan.
“I have to go in to work and do inventory, but I’m flexible. Why? What’s on your mind?”
I looked at my watch. It was almost nine.
Elle looked at me warily.
I had to be careful. And I would be. I wasn’t going to go this alone anymore. Still, I knew she’d worry, and telling her my thoughts wouldn’t ease her mind at all. I didn’t want to lie, but I couldn’t blurt out the truth just yet, either. “I wanted to hit the gym before it got too busy. Saturdays can be crazy in there.”
Saturdays were always dead in the morning and he knew that. Too many hangovers for the guys to show up that early and start pounding the bag. “Yeah, sounds great.”
The boutique opened at ten, and it looked like Elle was happy with my response and was starting to get ready. She was behind the cash register, counting the money in the drawer. I walked up behind her and put my lips to her ear. “I’ll pick you up at six. We’ll run back to your place and grab a few things, and then jet. We can even take my old man’s car if you want.”