Crush

“That’s it, baby. I’m so close. Tell me to move my hands faster. Fuck myself harder. Talk dirty to me, baby.”


At fifteen, I was so much more aware of things than I had been years ago. I knew he was jerking off in front of her. And sadly, I was just thankful he wasn’t making her have sex with him.

The phone started to ring.

“Ignore it. She’ll call back. Keep talking to me, baby. I need this. I need this from you.”

The phone kept ringing.

His moans told me he was starting to climax even through the incessant ringing.

Soon, though, all was quiet. Even him.

I had fallen back asleep.

The phone started to ring again and woke me. This time when I looked at the time it was close to three A.M.

“Yeah,” he barked into the phone.

Silence.

“Fuck. I’ll be right there.”



My eyes flashed to the card again. Maybe it was because my sister’s death was still fresh in my mind that I had to fight back the urge to cry. My family was such a fucked-up thing. And my daddy issues would never allow for me to be submissive with any man.

“Yes, baby, I understand. Sure. I can do that. Have fun,” Lindsay said.

Her words drew my attention.

Silence.

Her cheeks flushed. “Me too.”

With her phone in her hand, she dug into her purse again, and this time pulled out her keys and looked at me. “Molly’s is closing so it can reopen to the public later tonight. James suggested you and I take the car back to the hotel and he and Logan will take a cab back later.”

“Oh,” I said, a little surprised that Logan hadn’t called me to tell me himself, but then I remembered why. “I have to go back there—my purse is locked up in the backroom along with my phone.”

She grimaced a little. “Let me tell James to get it for you. I guess Logan is more than a little drunk, and James thinks it’s best if he sobers him up before they rejoin us.”

“Oh,” I found myself saying again. “Maybe he needs me.”

“Nonsense, he’ll be fine with James. James was very fond of Logan’s grandfather and I think they want to reminisce and have some boy time.” She plucked the card from my hand. “Let me pay for this and we’ll have a girls’ night in. We can rent a movie and raid the candy in the minibar.”

Worried about Logan, I found myself saying yes just so I would know what was going on. Besides, I didn’t seem to have any other choice without my purse, and I also wasn’t about to leave Logan alone.

Lindsay and James were staying in a very familiar Four Seasons suite. It was the same suite Logan had been living in when we met, before his grandfather blocked his access to his trust fund and his own money started to run out.

It was after ten and the movie Lindsay and I were watching had just ended, but no guys had come to the hotel yet. I was more than a little worried about Logan.

Lindsay jumped up. “Let’s go find a store that sells Ben & Jerry’s. I’m still hungry.”

My eyes skittered over the candy wrappers littered on the table. “You’re going to get a sugar high.”

She laughed. “I’m already on one. I need to keep it going. Besides, I’m going to go stir-crazy waiting for them.”

Standing up and stretching, I conceded. “I think there’s a store around the corner. But I’ll go only if you call James when we get back and find out where they are.”

She nodded. “Okay, deal.”

The expedition on foot to find the small convenience store took longer than I’d anticipated, and by the time we got there it was closed.

With no ice cream but a few bags of chips from a vending machine, we headed back to the hotel. I had to work in the morning, but sleep wasn’t what was on my mind. Logan was.

We passed a strip bar and she bumped my hip. “We could go in and when we get back, I could call James and tell him I watched naked women dance. I guarantee that would bring him back fast.”

Shaking my head, I was horrified at the thought, but at the same time, I laughed a real, genuine, from-the-belly laugh. I liked Lindsay. She was free-spirited about sex in a way I’d never been. She was also a nice person. I could see myself being friends with her.

The coolness of the night air had begun to set in. With the suddenly harsher wind, we both felt the chill and even in our heels, we hastened our pace.

As soon as we walked into the hotel suite, I was assaulted by the tang of a sticky, sweet scent. It was the smell of pot. Never one to try it myself, in my travels I’d come across many people who had. Moldy grass was how I’d always described the smell.

Lindsay shot me a glance and confirmed my suspicion.

Hard rock blared through the open space. The patio doors were open and I saw the back of two heads flopped on the lounge chairs. Even over the music, I heard laughter rumbling into the room. I was glad that at least Logan was upbeat.

Lindsay started for them and looked at me. “Shhh.”

I followed, keeping my mouth shut.

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