Eshan still sleeps on the bed. He looks dead. I have to watch him for a moment to make sure his chest is still rising and falling. When it does, I cross to the bed and sink onto it with a weighted huff of breath.
My phone vibrates again, reminding me that I never actually opened the text message from Cyrus.
I pull it out.
And I just stare at the screen.
And stare.
I don’t even know how I am right now, I text.
Almost immediately, Cyrus responds. What’s wrong?
I pause for a moment, considering how much information to share. Cyrus is known to go overboard. I have to be careful, because I do know he’ll do anything for me, anything to protect me.
But he’s also the person who knows me best. And I need someone to talk to.
I just met Alivia for the first time, I type out. Not a single bit of it went how I’ve always imagined things would be if I ever met my birth mother.
Oh, he sends as a single word.
That’s very big, indeed, he sends after a moment.
That doesn’t surprise me though. This is Alivia, after all.
I shake my head and something in my chest tightens. No, it wasn’t even her. It’s just…all these memories from other people got into my head. Everything everyone has ever told me. I just…I couldn’t even give her a chance.
I hit send, and I wait for a long minute after it says he’s read the message.
To be fair, not everyone is what they seem at first. Reputations do not always encompass the full breadth of a person in reality.
I read his words four times.
He’s not just talking about Alivia. He speaks of himself, and my first impression of him.
But these are big words from him. Considering they are spoken about Alivia.
It isn’t easy, being that much of an adult, I send him, smiling slightly.
You’ve always been the better person, he responds. You’ve always known what the right thing was.
His words warm my chest and relieve some of the hot pokers surrounding my heart. I physically feel my muscles relax slightly.
Thank you, Cyrus, I type out.
Always.
I breathe a little sigh as I set my phone beside me on the bed.
All of this is wrong. The timing. The manner. The circumstances.
I’m not good at dealing with these kinds of things.
I look back at my brother and I’m comforted. He would have known I wouldn’t handle this very well.
I shift on the bed, climbing up to lay my head on the pillow beside him. I reach up, pushing his hair off his forehead.
A small smile pulls on my lips. And for just a moment, I tell myself that it’s all worth it, however this whole trip might go. I’m here because of my brother. And I’ll do anything for him.
* * *
Time already has a different meaning, and it’s only been five nights since I became an immortal cursed to die a terrible death.
I have no idea how long I’ve been lying on the bed with my brother when there’s a knock on the door and a moment later Rath steps inside.
I halfway sit up, meeting his eyes.
He stands just inside the door, hands folded in front of him. His demeanor is calm, as almost always. But his eyes. I see how disappointed in me he is. How conflicted he is over everything that has happened since our arrival in Silent Bend, Mississippi.
“We should do this before he wakes up,” he eventually says. “As Alivia says, the very beginning is painful.”
He walks across the room, crossing to Eshan’s side. I see then that he was holding a syringe. Like he’s done this before, he uncaps it, pushing out the air bubble. And without one glance in my direction to confirm that this is what I still want to do, he sinks the needle into his arm.
Where once Eshan looked as good as dead, his face winces, just a little. The pain shows in his eyes and in the corners of his mouth.
But just a few seconds later, his expression relaxes again, and once more, he sleeps like the dead.
“How long does it take?” I ask, staring at him.
“Roughly twenty-four hours,” Rath says as he recaps the needle and slips the syringe into his pocket.
“And you’re sure he’ll be human when he wakes up?”
I marvel as I stare at Eshan. I’ve met and dealt with thousands of Bitten over the years.
But a cure?
“Yes, I’m sure,” Rath says.
I look up at him. I study his eyes. I think of his bravery. I think of how much he knows, about everything.
I have to wonder.
But I understand that it’s safer, for everyone, that I don’t know.
“I know you’re mad at me for how things went in there,” I say. “I…I honestly didn’t know that was going to come out. It just did.”
I’m not a person who’s very good at being sorry, and honestly, I’m not really sorry now. So I don’t say it.
Rath takes one deep breath in and slowly lets it out. He crosses to the chair in the corner of the room, the one that looks like it’s at least a hundred years old. He sinks into it, sitting straight. He laces his fingers in his lap.
His eyes are distant, contemplative. He always has words of wisdom, so I allow him a few moments to find them.
“I left Alivia and my service to the House of Conrath just a month after she Resurrected,” he begins. “I could not stand by the person she was becoming. I could not support so many of the decisions she was making. Her father asked me to guide her, before he died, and I failed him. Outside circumstances forced her down dark paths and no matter how hard I tried, I could not seem to pull her back onto the straight and narrow.”
He crosses one ankle over the opposite knee. “I attended Alivia’s wedding, but I cannot say that I ever supported her and Ian’s relationship. They are toxic when around one another. The two of them can fight like cats and dogs, fling words that could pierce the thickest armor. Ian told her up front that he would never accept Alivia as a vampire. He used to hunt them. Despite that, she still fell in love with him. Which drove her to do some very dark things when he broke her heart and walked away from her, even though he became what he hated.”
Here. Finally. I feel like I’m learning the truth about Alivia. About her husband. Because even though Rath did walk away from her, couldn’t support what she was doing, I can still tell. He loves her. Loves her like a daughter, in a small measure.
“Cyrus took Alivia to Roter Himmel for a trial,” Rath continues. His eyes flick up to mine. “Did you know that?”
My eyes widen. I shake my head.
Rath nods. “There was an attempt on Cyrus’ life, and they staged it to make it look like it was Alivia. Cyrus took her to Roter Himmel and held her prisoner there for over a month. Starved her. Tortured her. He wanted to punish her for how reckless she had been with his heart. He humiliated her. In front of Ian. In front of Raheem.”
A small gasp escapes my lips. The spy Cyrus had alluded to that Alivia had gotten involved with. I never… I shake my head. No wonder Cyrus had been so bitter. Raheem had been one of Cyrus’ elite, one of his most trusted in thousands of years.
“In the end, their time in Roter Himmel brought Ian and Alivia back together,” Rath continues. “Alivia was found not guilty. But she returned to Silent Bend a different person.”
I clench my jaw. I’m not ready yet. Not ready to have to accept that that woman, even though she is an immortal, is only human.
“But even though she was changed, I still could not return to her,” he says instead.
My eyes narrow at Rath in surprise.