I shake my head, still crying.
Liam’s hands find my cheeks, forcing me gently to look up. “I don’t know how bad this news is yet, but that’s not all you are. It’s not,” he says again when tears fall down my cheeks. “You have to know you’re more than that to me. I’m half in love with you, you know I am.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Surely you can feel it. Do you think I do all this with anyone but you? I’ve never been to Pirate Island with anyone. No one, Lucy. Only you. I told you I can’t fucking read and you’re still here, and I still want you. It doesn’t even seem that weird because you make it okay. You make everything better.” He draws me gently to his chest and wraps an arm around my upper back and head. “I would fucking hate it if you left, so please don’t. Stay.”
“I didn’t mean to,” I cry.
“Mean to what, acushla?”
I pause at the strange word. “What does that mean?”
His arms around me tighten, and I feel his cheek against my hair. “Cushlamachree,” he breathes. “It’s like… It’s a word for lovers, Lucy.”
Tears drip down my cheeks, unfettered. “Are we lovers?” I whisper, so quiet that even I can barely hear.
His lips press down against the top of my head. I can feel him draw a long, deep breath and tense before he whispers, “Yes.”
And for the longest time, that’s all that either of us says. We just stand there, Liam’s hands stroking down my back and through my hair, my cheek pressed against his gray sweater, so tightly I can hear the beating of his heart.
“I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want it,” he finally says. When I stiffen, he spreads his palm behind my head. “I didn’t know I wanted it.” His voice is hoarse. He doesn’t speak again, but I can feel the frenzy of his heartbeat through our clothes, and I can sense his feelings right up near the surface, running rampant. His breaths feel strained, his arms around me heavy. “I don’t know if I can do this well.” I feel his cheek come up against mine, our heads pressed together as his voice murmurs into my hair. “I took this class in college—it was something in psychology. The teacher lectured everything; there were no notes. One of the things he said,” Liam confides quietly, “was that you can’t…learn to love someone…if you weren’t. All that stuff is…learned.” He inhales deeply, and I wrap my hand around his warm nape, pressing his face to my shoulder. I can feel him let his breath out. Then his body shudders slightly. “If I can’t— Lucy…” He pulls away from me, so he can look into my eyes as he says, “You deserve someone who can.”
I see him struggling to swallow, see his slightly red eyes and his tensed-up shoulders.
“You don’t have to stay with me,” he tells me in a strong, clear, neutral tone. “All the choices here are yours.”
And that’s the moment that I know I love him.
TWENTY-EIGHT Lucy
Liam and I sit by the stream talking for a long time. He’s got my hand in both of his and is sitting close enough so that I’m almost on his lap.
I tell him the whole story about me finding out that I was pregnant, knowing I should tell him but not wanting to because I figured it would change all this. I tell him I don’t want to be an obligation; I have means and support and my own strength, and I don’t need him to be any more involved than he wants to be. Liam’s lips brush softly over my ear, and in that low and sexy voice of his, he says, “Don’t worry about me, Lucille.”
He asks me questions. Lots of questions. Am I sure I’m feeling okay? Am I nervous? Do I know the baby’s gender? Can I feel the baby move yet? He tells me how a friend of his and Dec’s got married to a model several months ago; she’d had his child at the end of last year.
“I went to the wedding, so I know: they’re happy.”
“That’s good. Really good. But know I don’t expect anything. Okay? I mean that, too. I think that’s why I kept putting off telling you. It felt so nice being here and hanging out…” I shrug, and Liam’s arm goes around my back.
“Didn’t want to change that, aye?”
I smile at his accent, thickened by emotion, I guess. I nod. “Aye.”
“Nothing will change,” he says quietly, and then, “I’m glad we didn’t go zip-lining on the island. And the horses…” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure—”
“I read that they’re okay. Until my stomach starts to…show.”
I look up, finding his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. A teasing smile spreads over his face as he looks into my eyes. “We’ll find you a pony.”
I laugh. “No we won’t! I’m staying on a real horse. I’m a master rider, you know.”
Liam chuckles. “I’ll find a master pony for you.”
I punch him in the arm. He gives me the first grin I’ve seen in several hours. “If you want something bigger to ride?” He shrugs, and I howl at the pervy look on his face.
“You’re a pervert.”
“You’re one too.”
And somehow both of us are in the grass, and Liam’s on top of me until I turn the tables. Then I’m riding him. We kiss and kiss and kiss until I’m comfortable and not nervous, until I’m wet and throbbing. Then he peels my clothes off and I work his pants down. I play with his hard cock through the fabric of his underwear, loving the way he grits his teeth and moans; loving the control.
I strip his boxer-briefs away and take him in my mouth, teasing that notch underneath his head when he tenses and looks alarmed that I’m about to suck his dick.
“It’s fine,” I whisper. Then I lick around his head and take him deeper into my mouth, down my throat. I’m going to make him come like this, because I want—I need—to see him helpless, so that I can feel in charge.
For the same reason, I stop when he’s on the cusp. His balls are taut and hard, his cock swollen and jerking when I lick it, his abs quivering with every breath.
I pull his cock back and work my way atop him, loving the way he groans as I straddle him, teasing him there at my entrance the way he teased me.
“FUCK, Lucy…”
“If you’re sure you want it.” I grin, then I sink down on him.
It feels so amazing, all the pent-up pressure inside me tops off as I grind against him and Liam thrusts at the same moment. I come from just that one delicious motion, spasming around him as I cry out.
Liam’s chin tips up and his abs clench as he makes a tortured sound. Then I feel a burst of warmth inside me.
*
Liam
We decide to stay another night.
There’s a place near where we’re camped out called The Pool. It’s a tiny hot spring, but like the one on Pirate Island, it’s not that hot, so I think Lucy could get in it.