Is it possible to be a good cop and a good girlfriend to a biker?
I don’t know how, but I need to make it work. I want both, and I need to make it so I can have both. Can’t I just be Switzerland? Neutral ground? Even I’m not so na?ve as to think so. Shit is going to blow up, it’s just a matter of time, and I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. Being a cop is who I am, but Ranger . . . Ranger is who I love.
I slide back into bed and wonder what the hell is happening right now.
? ? ?
“Never thought I’d be having lunch with a cop who’s dating one of the Wind Dragon men,” Faye says, the beauty in her smile almost blinding. “But I like you, Jo. To be honest, I was kind of worried about Ranger before you came into his life.”
“What do you mean?” I ask her as I take a bite of my chicken salad.
She tilts her head to the side, then explains. “He was restless becoming a Wind Dragon. It’s like he felt like he didn’t fit in or something, although I tried everything to make sure he felt like he did. I gave him your cousin’s case to distract him. I thought he was going to leave us, and I didn’t want him to.”
“He loves being a part of that lifestyle though.”
“He does,” she says, nodding. “But it was a big change. When you’re with a club, you become so loyal to them. He was loyal to the Wild Men. So was Talon, but his loyalty changed to Tia, and he already had ties to the Wind Dragons, so it was an easy transition for him. Ranger had only Talon, and he knew Shayla; I think that was it.”
“So it was like a whole new life. New people, new environment, and new loyalties?”
“Exactly,” she says, nodding. “Also a very different biker lifestyle. More family environment, less drugs and alcohol, less club whores, et cetera. All the men have settled down now. So maybe that made him feel left out, I don’t know. He’s a good man though, and I’m glad he found someone worthy of him who makes him happy.”
“He is a good man,” I agree, then broach the topic I want to ask her about. “I didn’t know anything about the raid, you know.”
“I know,” Faye says, studying me. “It’s going to be hard to keep your work separate from Ranger, but you can do it. Ranger told us you had nothing to do with it, and we believe him, and you. Nothing happened anyway. They were looking for something but found nothing. I also think that if they did find something they’d have tried to drag you down with us.”
I never thought about it that way, but she’s probably right.
Shit.
“There’s something I need to admit to you,” Faye says, cringing.
I look at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.
“There’s a reason I took Elizabeth’s case,” she says, shifting on her chair. “Ranger asked me once why I chose to help with finding her, and I didn’t tell him the whole truth then.”
“What’s the reason?” I ask, brow furrowing.
“I kind of told Ranger I wouldn’t bring it up, but I was going to ask you a favor,” she says, clearing her throat. “I didn’t know that you and Ranger would end up all in love and shit, but I’m glad you did, and I just want to say that I’m sorry. I won’t ask anything from you, and I feel a little guilty that I was going to.” She smiles and takes a deep breath. “Okay, well, I feel better now, how about you?”
I open my mouth to ask what her original plan was, but then decide against it. I have a feeling that I don’t want to know, and if I change my mind I’m sure Ranger can enlighten me. So I ask her something that has been bothering me instead. “I have a question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“How do you keep everything separate? Being in the MC plus your work with the feds—it must be hard to juggle the two?” I ask, hoping she can give me some advice.
She looks at me and sighs. “Since Sin stepped down as president, it’s actually a lot easier for me. I don’t have to worry about what everyone is doing anymore, although I still do. It’s hard to step down from a role that I’ve played for years, plus it’s just me—I’m a caring and thoughtful person. But now with Anna handling everything, when I go to work, it’s work. No one throws being a biker in my face, they know I’m good at what I do. Yes, I’m a lawyer, but I’m so much more. I’m well connected, I can defend myself and others, and I’m smart. I’m an asset. They treat me as such. My family comes first, always, so if they call me or need me, I’m there. I think it would be harder in your position as a police officer than it is for me, a lawyer.”
“So, basically, I’m screwed?” I groan, covering my face with my hands. “I don’t know how this is going to turn out.”
“Whatever happens, you will handle it,” she says with such confidence that even I believe her.
“Ranger wants us to move in together,” I say, changing the subject, since I still don’t know what the right thing to do is.
“Oooh, housewarming party!” Faye beams. “If you need any help moving or decorating or looking for a house, basically if you need any help at all, you have my number.”
“How do you have so much time on your hands with two kids, a husband, and working with the feds?” I ask, shaking my head. “You’re Wonder Woman.”
“That’s only half of it,” she says with a wink. “I like to stay busy, and I like to make sure I can take care of my extended family, but I also like to help others. I’m blessed; not everyone is. If I can help in some way, I will.”
Asher stirs in his little carrier thing, so Faye picks him up and taps his back gently as he rests on her chest. “I’m glad you two sorted out the whole Elizabeth thing. Now, that was some drama.”
My lip twitches. “That’s an understatement. She’s really liking her boyfriend, so I think that is helping her move on, you know? And she’s forgiven me, which I’m grateful for. She could have chosen to be bitter and hold a grudge.”
“You didn’t do anything that bad,” Faye says, sniffing. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Love doesn’t come easy—there’s always a war, or a battle, but it makes you appreciate it more.”
I wonder what her battle was.
“I don’t think my cousin shares your thoughts,” I utter, then change the subject again. “So you know a lot about houses and interior decorating, then?”
Faye nods. “Yep. What do you have in mind? Oh, you should buy a house near mine! That would be so cool. Are you more of a country or modern woman?”
“Modern,” I say, watching Asher as he falls back asleep. “I don’t know what Ranger has in mind, but he said he wants to go see some houses next week.”
“This is so exciting! A cop and a biker shacking up. A police car parked next to a Harley. The forbidden love story writes itself.”
I laugh, but the truth is, our love is forbidden.
And our battle isn’t over yet.