Lila: Yesterday morning. You could’ve called last night.
Phoebe: Phone was swallowed by the Atlantic, remember? That time mobsters kidnapped me?
Lila: Excuses, excuses.
Phoebe: If you’re free now, I can call.
Lila: K.
Oh no. She texted me the letter K.
That’s never good.
In BFF-code, there’s nothing quite as terrible as the K text. It’s the DEFCON 1 of texting. The holy grail of passive aggressive communication.
She’s pissed.
I chew my lip as I dial her number and hit the call button.
“Well, well, well,” she snaps through the speaker. “If it isn’t my former best friend.”
“A little harsh, Lila.”
“Maybe, but you know what else is harsh?” she asks. “Being totally out of the loop about the things going on in your best friend’s life.”
“Aw, were you concerned about me? Don’t worry. I’m okay. The bruises are healing and Cormack hasn’t made contact—”
“I don’t care about that, idiot. I want to know about the important stuff.”
“Threats to my life aren’t important?”
“Clearly not.” Her voice is exasperated. “I want to know about Knox.”
I roll my eyes. “Seriously?”
“Did you wear the nighty I packed? Did you jump his bones?” she hisses. “I was picking up a serious vibe yesterday morning. Tell me I’m not wrong.”
“Lila—”
“Phoebe Evangeline West.” Her voice is rising. “After all the things I do for you, you’re going to hold out on me?”
“What do you do for me?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“I give you hair ties whenever you need them, even when it’s taken me two solid weeks to stretch them out to fit my wrist perfectly.”
“Are you kidding?”
“Why would I kid about that?” She huffs. “Not to mention the fact that I always tell you when you’ve got food stuck in your teeth or a weird, rogue eyebrow hair.”
“Lila—”
“And I bought you a ticket to Burning Man.” Her voice drops lower. “You owe me $1500 for airfare, by the way.”
“What?!”
“My point is, you owe me. So spill about Nate. If there were sexy-times, I need to know about them.”
“It’s possible there were…” I hedge. “…A few moments.”
Silence blasts over the line and I realize she’s waiting for me to continue.
“He kissed me. Or maybe I kissed him…” I shake my head. “There was definitely kissing.”
“Just once?”
I hesitate.
“More than once!?” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Yes,” I say, groaning. “And I think we almost did it on the counter, but then Parker showed up. And honestly it’s kind of a mood killer when your big brother almost walks in on you getting naked with his best friend.”
Indecipherable squealing erupts through the phone. I stare at it, baffled, and wait for Lila to contain herself.
“You done?” I ask, when the squealing stops.
“For now.”
I sigh. “I don’t know why you’re so excited.”
“I don’t know why you’re not doing cartwheels down Summer Street,” she counters.
“Because I don’t know what any of it means.” I tap my fingers against my kneecaps. “And I know your genius plan is for me to just have sex with him and walk away but…”
“Oh, honey.” Lila’s laughter is so loud, it hurts my eardrums. “You really bought that bullshit?”
My eyes widen. “What?”
“Swear to god, Temperance Brennan on Bones is more in touch with her emotions than you are. And it took her seven seasons to tell Booth she loved him. Seven.”
“Can we get back to the part where you said Operation SPANK was a complete and total lie?”
She snorts. “Still the best code name ever. But yeah… I hate to break it to you, but there’s no severing anything. Especially not your attachment to Nathaniel Knox.”