“Now what else?”
“I have two brothers and a sister. They’re all really great.”
“Good, good. Family is everything. And what else?”
Jade. She was actually the first thing that had popped into my mind when he asked about something good in my life. For some reason, I couldn’t bring her name to my lips. She wasn’t mine, as much as I wanted her to be, because with the same amount of desire, I didn’t want her to be. I didn’t want to bring her into my tortured existence. I didn’t want to ruin her. She deserved so much better.
“You got yourself a girl?”
I looked away.
“Or a guy? I don’t judge.”
My nerves prickled. “There’s a girl. But she’s not mine.”
“She doesn’t feel the same way about you?”
I didn’t know. She was clearly not repulsed by me. “She seems to like me okay.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Tell her how you feel.”
“I don’t really know how I feel.” It was the God’s honest truth.
“I don’t buy that.”
“I’m no good for her. She deserves better.”
“You need to stop that self-defeating attitude, son, if you’re going to be happy in life.”
Happy? I had given up the notion of happiness twenty-five years ago. “I’m not being self-defeating. This is just a fact. She deserves better.”
Hell, she deserved the best. Unfortunately, that wasn’t me.
“What could be better for a woman than a man who loves her? You do love her, don’t you?”
Did I? I didn’t know what that kind of love was. I had no frame of reference. I was used to taking what women offered. I had never given them anything in return.
And then it hit me like a house falling on my head. That was the problem with Jade. I didn’t want to just take from her. I wanted to give everything back to her as well, and I didn’t think I was capable of it. I hungered for her, longed for her. Was that love?
“I don’t know,” I said honestly.
“Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to figure out what your feelings are for this woman?”
I stayed silent.
“Don’t you think about her at all?”
Again, I stayed silent.
“Look, son, take a look at your life. Maybe it hasn’t been a joyful one, and I’m sure sorry about that. But there have to be moments of contentedness. Sift through the crap. Find those moments. When have you felt the most content?”
I smiled. I actually smiled at this old man who was the wisest person I’d met a long time.
“I’ve been the most content when I’ve been with her.” I stood.
“Now where are you off to?”
“I’m going home. But before I do, give me your address, Mike.”
“Whatever for?”
“You’ve helped me a lot. I’d like to send you something in gratitude.”
He scribbled something on a napkin and laughed. “Well. I won’t turn that down. It’s been great talking to you, Talon. I honestly do wish you happiness in the rest of your life.”
The road would be rough and icy, but maybe I could trudge along and find happiness.
One thing I knew. By tomorrow evening, Mike would have a case of the good stuff delivered to his door.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jade
“Where the hell did you find this?” Jonah held the birth certificate, his eyes blazing.
“Jade and I did some investigating.”
“What the fuck?”
I warmed all over. This was clearly a family moment. I felt totally out of place. If a hole had swallowed me up, I would have been glad.
“Yeah.”
“Damn it, Marj, this isn’t funny. Tell me where you found this.”
“In the crawl space in the basement. Those old boxes of Dad’s that you always told me were nothing of importance.”
“They’re not.”
“Apparently they are. I don’t even know what my legal name is.”
He handed the birth certificate back to her. “I don’t know anything about this.”
Jonah’s words hung in the air.
Marj whipped her hands to her hips. “I don’t buy it, Joe. You know something. Clearly, my real name is Angela Marjorie Steel. I want to know why no one told me.”
“I don’t know. Maybe Mom and Dad had your name changed.”
“Why would they do that?”
Jonah shrugged. “Beats the hell out of me.”
“You’re lying,” Marj said, her dark eyes laced with anger. “Why didn’t Dad tell me what my real name was? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s a nonissue, Marjorie. Leave it.”
“What exactly is the big deal here? It’s my name. It’s not some criminal record or anything horrible. I just want to know why no one told me what my name is. Is that so wrong?”
“Marj…”
“And while you’re at it, you can tell me why you always told me that Mom’s maiden name was Warren, but her marriage certificate to Dad says it’s Wade.”
Jonah widened his eyes. Only slightly, but I noticed. Had Marj noticed as well?