Cowboy Up (Coming Home #3)

“Heard Tate, darlin’,” he answers, his voice thick with emotion.

When he looks at me, I see the same overwhelming emotions I’m feeling in his gaze. I swallow what feels like a golf ball and nod. Mav’s eyes close and I clench my jaw, but somehow we both manage to get ahold of ourselves, but fuck, it takes one hell of an effort for me to keep from crying like a goddamn baby. I’m so happy for our sister that I feel like I might combust.

I can’t believe my baby sister is a mama.

“Y’all ready to meet your nephew?” Tate asks, looking every bit the proud papa he is.

I keep Caroline’s hand firmly in mine while we all follow Tate down the hallway. We wait while he pops into Quinn’s hospital room to make sure she’s decent, but not even a second later he’s back and ushering us in. Leighton is first, moving as fast as she can. If I wasn’t feeling like I was about to break down and cry, I’d find her waddling that quick funny as hell. Mav follows, stopping to slap Tate’s shoulder in silent support.

“Go on, honey,” Caroline urges when I don’t move from my spot in the hallway.

Before stepping into the room, I release her hand and pull Tate forward. His hug in return is just as tight as mine. “Congratulations, Tate.”

“Thanks, Clay. Means a lot.”

There’s so much I want to tell the man who broke my sister’s heart years ago, but I release him and nod instead. He’s made her happy since coming back to Pine Oak, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for Quinn.

Leigh is bawling her head off when we step into the dimly lit hospital room, looking down at Quinn as she smiles at the bundle in her arms. When I look over her shoulder and see my brother finally lose the war over his emotions with wet cheeks and a warm smile, I stop trying to hold mine in and suck in a heavy, choppy breath. Quinn glances up from her son and smiles at me, her chin wobbling like crazy.

“Come meet him,” she requests softly.

My vision gets blurry and I step to the side of her bed and get my first glance at the next generation of our family.

“He’s an impatient one, but healthy as can be, with lungs stronger than you’ve ever heard. Doc checked him over and said that for bein’ a month early, he’s perfect.” Quinn lays him down on her thighs, tucking the blanket around his tiny chin to give us a better look at the baby who looks like the spitting image of his parents. “Grayson Ford Montgomery just couldn’t wait to meet the best family in the whole wide world.”

“He’s perfect,” Caroline whispers, and I squeeze her hand.

“Oh, Q,” Leigh cries softly. “He’s the most handsome thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Did good, Quinnie. Did real good.”

My sister looks from Mav, when he finishes speaking, and blinks up at me with watery eyes. I reach out, roll my fingertip across Grayson’s tiny forehead, and take a rough pull of air into my lungs. His lips purse and his nose scrunches, but his eyes stay shut.

“So proud of you, Quinn,” I finally mutter, unable to resist my new nephew’s silky smooth skin and caressing his cheek with my fingertip again.

“Here,” she chokes on a tiny sob, lifting her son up toward me.

Caroline jerks her hand away, but with the tiny life being placed into my arms, I don’t dare look and see if I can read what’s going through her mind. The second I’m holding the seemingly weightless bundle, I never want to give it up. Feelings so foreign to me are hitting hard.

“Jesus, Quinn,” I breathe, staring down at Grayson.

“I know, Clay. I know.”

He isn’t even my own son and I already know I’d protect this child with everything I have in me. Knowing that, I can’t even fathom how a parent could ever feel anything but unconditional love. I don’t have to guess that both my brother and sister are thinking the same thing. We might not have had a mama who cared or a father who could until it was too late, but this boy and any children born into our family will never know that kind of pain. He’s got two parents who love each other and will love him fiercely, but he’s also got two uncles and the women in their lives who will do the same.

I bend at the same time I lift my arms up and press my lips to Grayson’s tiny head before handing him back to his mama.

When I’m finally able to look away and at Caroline, I’m not sure how to read what I see in her eyes. For as long as I can remember I’ve known I’d never bring a child of my own into the world. The way I’d been raised hadn’t shown me anything positive in the way of having my own children. Looking at the woman I can’t imagine a life without, with the reminder of what my nephew felt like in my arms, makes me want to be able to see something other than what I’ve always believed.





17


CAROLINE


“Sunday Morning” by Parmalee

- -

I climb into bed and pull the covers up over my bare legs. I can hear Clayton as he moves through the house, locking up and setting the alarm. He’s been quiet since we left the hospital. To be honest, I’m glad for the silence. Watching him holding Quinn and Tate’s son shifted something inside of me, something I hadn’t been sure was there. Something I hadn’t even been sure I had even wanted until I met Clayton. Knowing his past, I was completely unsure if the man I was building a future with wanted the same thing.

Children.

I never thought about that for myself.

Why would I? I was raised by a woman who hated me, hardly tolerated me, and had been one of the main reasons I desperately traded one nightmare for another. I went from living with her hate to just surviving another’s. I never would have brought a child into that. Luckily, John had been meticulous about protection and I had never had to deal with that problem.

I’ve never experienced the positive love of a mother, and I’m not sure that’s something I capable of, but seeing Clayton with a baby in his arms and a look of pure, tender love, I started to hope.

I know, though, that if that’s something Clayton doesn’t want, I will never have it, because there will never be another man for me. My heart only belongs to one man and without him, I’ll never bring a child into this world. Knowing that, it feels like a dark cloud has settled over a special night.

“I could hear you thinkin’ downstairs, Linney.” I jump at the sound of Clayton’s voice, so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even notice him enter the bedroom.