Zara forced a smile. “Thank you, that’s sweet of you to say.” She dropped her hands into her lap and twisted her fingers together. Something about both Comeaux men repelled her. She didn’t know what it was, they both had been very polite. Even Blaise, although he hadn’t taken her refusal very well.
Pascal stepped away from the table and made his way to the bar. The four women looked expectantly to Nonny. Nonny shook her head. “Those boys are bad, all the way through. Reckon they have reason to be. Their pere was the meanest man in the swamp. Why Shanty married him, I don’t know, but I suspect her pere sold her to Jean-Baptiste. In any case, Jean-Baptiste was a mean, vile man. Any crime in these parts, you could bet he had his hand in. He drank and beat Shanty and the boys. He brought home women. He even brought home women to his sons.”
The four women exchanged a long look. “Pascal appeared to be genuinely concerned for his mother,” Zara pointed out. “I could almost like him for that.” Almost. He made the hair on her body stand up in alarm when he pushed close.
“I think the boys, and there were five of them, their oldest brother is dead now, love and hate Shanty. She was weak. She didn’t protect them or leave their father. Jean-Baptiste taught them to think of women as playthings, inferior to them, only servants. Their older brother was involved in kidnapping and selling women. He got away with it for quite a few years until my grandsons did something about it. It wouldn’t surprise me if the rest of the boys had a hand in it but weren’t caught.”
“How sad that they really had no chance,” Zara whispered.
“They had plenty of chances,” Nonny corrected. “People all over the world have terrible childhoods. Look at you girls. Pepper lived her life in a cell. Cayenne’s life was even worse than hers. Bellisia and you were in Whitney’s compound. He experimented on all you girls. He gave Flame cancer time and time again. Gino’s family was murdered. So many lives are difficult and start off bad, but people overcome these things. Pascal and Blaise and their brothers, they like livin’ a life of crime. They like scarin’ people and hurtin’ others. It makes them feel like big men.”
“Well, that’s sad too,” Zara said. She snuck another glance toward the dark corner where Gino sat with the other men. Gino had been affected by the murder of his family, he’d turned his back on the life his father had built and he’d embraced the life Ciro Spagnola had given him.
She took another drink of the ice-cold beer, thankful for the cool liquid. The room was hot. Outside, the humidity and temperature hadn’t gone down much from the daytime. Occasionally, rain would pepper the roof and just as abruptly stop.
“It is sad,” Nonny agreed. “But nothin’ any of us can do about it. Many tried. We all thought we’d be able to get Shanty free of Jean-Baptiste, but she stubbornly refused to leave him. Just like Alida. History repeatin’ itself. I suppose the woman Blaise eventually settles with will be beat and abused and she’ll stay too. Let that be a lesson to you girls. You respect yourself and demand respect from your man.”
She looked at Cayenne. “That man of yours thinks the sun rises with you, but he can be demandin’. Don’t you ever let him cross lines. You understand me? You set boundaries, ones you can live with. They’re yours, no one else’s, but you make certain he respects them.”
“I will, Nonny,” Cayenne agreed. “I’m not shy about telling him if I don’t like something, and he never does it again.”
“Good.” Nonny looked around the table, her gaze settling on Zara. “That goes for all you girls. Zara, you have a sweet, giving nature. I can see that in you. Pascal and Blaise could see it as well.”
She sat up straight. Alarmed. What was wrong with her that men like Pascal, Blaise and Zhu all saw something in her that wasn’t in Bellisia, Cayenne or Pepper? What about Gino? Was she deluding herself into thinking he was a good man?
“What’s wrong with me?” She supposed she needed to face it. If she didn’t know, she couldn’t do anything about it.
“Nothing is wrong with you,” Nonny assured. “Nothing at all. Because they can see you’re sweet and accommodating doesn’t mean you wouldn’t walk away from abuse. I think you would in a heartbeat. From what Bellisia has said, you defied Whitney many times. I just want you to remember, you’re as important as your partner.”
Zara pressed the frosty bottle of beer to her forehead. “This relationship thing can be confusing. When I’m with Gino, everything feels clear. Safe. Perfect. Then he’s away from me and I find everyone around me questions our relationship and I think maybe I don’t know what I’m doing. Why does it feel so right with him and everyone thinks it’s wrong?”
Cayenne leaned forward and for the first time, touched her hand to Zara’s in a gesture of solidarity and sisterhood. “No one understands my relationship with Trap. On the surface, it appears to others that it’s all about sex. Our relationship is very sexual. It’s intense. But we fit. I love everything he does, and when we’re at odds, we fix it fast. I know he’s the only man who will suit me. He knows I’m the only woman for him. We work. If you work with Gino, it’s no one’s business how you work, as long as he doesn’t in any way hurt you.”
“Cayenne is right, Zara,” Nonny said. “I know Gino’s a good man. He looks at you the way Trap looks at Cayenne. There is no one else in his world, and there won’t be. I don’t worry he’ll abuse you. My husband was a strong man. He wanted a partner, but he wanted me to always follow his lead. Juggling the two wasn’t always the easiest, but I loved him and he loved me. We made it work. I do know that men have to be reminded every now and then that you have needs outside of them. You remind Gino, Zara. Every now and then think of something he can do for you and let him do it.”
“That is not what you told me,” Bellisia said, waving her hand in the air for Delmar to refresh their drinks. “I believe you said I should give Ezekiel my entire adoration.” She sounded indignant.
Nonny’s eyebrow went up. “I said that?”
“Ezekiel said you said that.”
All of them burst out laughing. Relief swept through Zara. She didn’t like not knowing the right thing to say or do. She felt as if she spent most of her life trying to fit in, to figure out the right moves, what to say in any given circumstance and how to act. The only time she could remember relaxing was around Bellisia and Shylah. When it was just the three of them at night when no one was around and they were far from the cameras. Gino had given her that again.
“Ezekiel does walk on water,” Nonny said. “Ask his brothers or Rubin and Diego. They’ll tell you.”
“So will I,” Bellisia admitted, “but I’m not telling him I think so.”
“That’s best,” Nonny agreed.
“I have to admit, I think Wyatt can walk on water,” Pepper said. “He’s amazing with the girls, and he always seems to know what to do when I’m overloading. I had no idea how to take care of children and make a home for them, and he’s so good at it.” She smiled at Nonny. “He says you gave that to him. And you definitely give it to me and the girls, Nonny. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
She took another drink of the lemonade-lime that Delmar had brought her. “By the way, this is really good. It isn’t alcohol, but it doesn’t need to be. That’s how good it is.”
“Delmar’s mere used to make that drink when we’d have a big celebration, music, food, good friends and neighbors comin’ together. It was refreshin’ and every one of us loved it.” She sounded nostalgic.
They drank another round of beer, laughed a lot and spent some time on the dance floor in a group. Nonny had moves she taught them and they tried teaching her some of theirs. Zara and Bellisia had learned and practiced dancing by watching videos. Pepper and Cayenne had done the same, although Cayenne’s taste ran to the more exotic and provocative.