Her eyes burned and she squeezed her lids closed, terrified she’d cry again. All he’d seen her do from the first moment they’d met was cry. “I hate this so much,” she whispered. She knew part of her emotions could really be the drugs, but it didn’t matter what it was. She didn’t want him seeing her like this.
“Are you finished?” Gino asked.
His voice was so gentle that she couldn’t prevent a couple of tears from escaping, so she kept her head down and nodded. He carried her to the sink to allow her to rinse out her mouth. She did several times. The moment she was alone she was going to try to put her weight on her feet. She had to find a way to be more independent.
“While we’re in here, you may as well use the toilet.”
Her heart nearly stopped in her chest and then thudded like a drum. That was the last straw. “Not with you in here.” She was firm about it. He’d already been with her in the morning, but that was before she’d met the women of the house. Now, she couldn’t bear it if he had to help her.
“I’m not certain how you’re going to cope without me. You can’t stand on your feet yet. It isn’t a big deal. Everyone uses a toilet.”
“Not with you in the room.”
“It isn’t the first time,” he reminded.
It was so humiliating. Before, she’d been out of it, terrified beyond belief, unable to do anything but writhe in pain. Now, there were three women right in the next room that he saw every day and could compare her to. She shook her head. “Absolutely not. I’ll walk back into the bathroom if I have to, but you’re not staying here with me.” Crawl would be more like it.
He was silent for so long she had to work to keep from squirming. She really had to go now that they talked about it.
With a small sigh, Gino set her on the sink. “I’m stepping outside, Zara, but I swear, you’ve got three minutes and then I’m back. Get it done.”
He was clipped. Abrupt. She realized he was upset. She didn’t care. She’d just seen three petite women, all gorgeous and sexy, and realized just how bad she really looked—and probably smelled. She’d thrown up in front of him. She was not going to add taking care of her business in the bathroom in front of him to her list of indignities any longer. If a man wanted a mystery, Gino clearly wasn’t going to get it with her.
She had to crawl to the toilet because she couldn’t take the excruciating pain when she experimentally put her foot on the tile. She managed to get everything done, flush and crawl her way back to the sink. She hadn’t considered the problem of pulling herself back up, so she was sitting on the floor, suffering one more indignity when Gino returned. His face was a mask, all hard lines and planes, as he bent and took her off the floor.
“Gino.” She knew she shouldn’t comment. She should keep her mouth shut. She detested his silence. The look that said he was upset with her. She didn’t want him ever angry with her. He’d done so much for her and she seemed to be repaying him with vomit and whatever else she did to make him look like this.
He kicked open the door so hard it swung viciously, hit a doorstop and came back at them. He kicked it again and strode into the bedroom. “Let it go.”
“Did I do something to upset you?”
He stopped right in the middle of the room. She could feel anger pouring off him in waves. His eyes were so black they were scary. “I’m pissed, Zara, not upset. I’m fucking done with you sacrificing your comfort because you think you need to preserve your dignity.”
She swallowed back a protest, put her arms around his neck and buried her face against his shoulder. Hiding. She’d wanted to hide nearly all her life, but she’d been thrust into the spotlight—Whitney’s retaliation for her disappointing him.
All the girls were so envious. She could leave the compound and see the world. She could go to various cities, go to landmarks, see sites they would never witness in their lifetimes. They told her how lucky she was over and over. Bellisia and Shylah beamed when she came back, so proud of her. All the girls sat in a circle at night and she told them stories of the outside.
The universities had been particular favorites to talk about. She hadn’t attended parties, obviously, and Whitney had his men watching her every move, but she’d had the freedom to attend classes, do her projects and mix with like-minded men and women. The other girls had all lived vicariously through her. Sometimes they would tuck a request in her pocket and she’d try to fulfill it, a lipstick from the outside, girly contraband none of them were supposed to have. She had been caught more than once and punished by Whitney. His punishments had been harsh, but they hadn’t been anything like Zhu’s.
“Nonny thinks your body would benefit from a soak in a tub,” Gino said, putting his knee in the middle of the bed and gently depositing her on the sheet-covered mattress.
The anger had receded from his voice and she dared to look at him again. His face was close. His eyes dark. His jaw was tight. A muscle ticked there, telling her his voice might not give away what he was feeling, but the tension was there.
“She says the special herbs would help heal you faster. I know it sounds a little wacky, but I’ve seen amazing things from her. The old ways worked for centuries before modern medicine, and just like Eastern medicine, Nonny’s pharmacy out here in the swamp serves a purpose.”
She studied his face, trying to read his mind. What did he want her to do? “I’m really worried about my feet. I need them.”
“They’ll heal. While you eat, I’m going to ask the women to fill up the bathtub with Nonny’s concoction. She swears you won’t need pain pills.”
“I’m not going to take them anymore. I made a total fool of myself. I can’t believe I was blurting out all those crazy things.” And vomiting in front of him.
“Do you really believe Bolan Zhu and Bernard Cheng are related?”
She nodded. “Brothers. I don’t miss the kinds of things that would genetically link them. They both have the same unusual eyes, bone structure from their mother and those fingers are distinct. I think Bolan is a younger brother and he’s very dangerous. Cheng knows it too.” She took a deep breath. “I can’t stay here long, Gino. You know that. Bellisia isn’t going to understand, but there’s Nonny and Pepper and Pepper and Wyatt’s three children. Pepper’s pregnant. Zhu’s going to come after me, and so will Whitney.”
“Why? Why won’t Whitney let up? Every woman here is a GhostWalker and he let them go. Why won’t he let you go?”
She shook her head. “I’ll tell you, Gino, but later. After my bath.” After her talk with Bellisia. She trusted Bellisia implicitly. She had to know if there was corruption here. What she carried in her head was extremely valuable and couldn’t be put in the hands of just anyone. Governments could be toppled with the kinds of information Cheng bought and sold. She was certain he had intelligence on terrorist cells. On traitors and agents for various countries. He knew about weapons they had and those countries developing chemicals in spite of the bans.
“We’re alone right now, Zara, and I’m giving you this opportunity.”
She sighed and looked away from those dark, compelling eyes. He could mesmerize her with them. “I can’t right yet. I have to think about this. I can’t just …”
“What?” he snapped. “Trust me? I parachuted onto the roof of a building for you, carried your ass out of there and risked my life for you. We all did. What more do you need to trust me?”
She blinked her lashes and breathed deeply, turning her face away from him. She was not going to cry. Bellisia wouldn’t cry. Neither would Shylah. They were stoic when they had to be. Not her. Not Zara. Whitney could get to her every time. Apparently, so could Gino.
He swore softly and went to the window to stare out into the night. There was only a shadowed light from a lamp in the far corner illuminating the room, but it would be enough for a sniper to take him out. She wanted him to move. She waited, her heart beating overtime, but he just stood there, his back to her, his anger and disappointment in her coming off him in waves.