He gave her his most chilling smile. White teeth. No humor. Eyes dead. She had recognized the demon in him when they’d first met. He saw the knowledge in her eyes, but she never said anything to him and was unfailingly polite, but she avoided him if she could. Now he gave a reminder.
He let Zeke see him, although seeing the cold, dark side of Gino wouldn’t be news to him. They’d known each other too long. It was just that Gino had never chosen to set that demon in him loose on his fellow GhostWalkers—but then he’d never had anything of his own worth fighting for.
Ezekiel got it immediately and put a warning hand on Bellisia. “Baby, let Zara sleep. When she wakes up, you can ask her where she’d like to be and who she wants looking after her. Gino is an excellent surgeon and he’s been taking care of her from the moment we broke into Cheng’s lair.”
Bellisia stood looking up at Gino for a long time. “She’s not like me, Gino. She’s sweet and kind and good.”
“I’m very aware of what she’s like,” Gino said, his voice gentling, when he didn’t feel gentle. Bellisia was going to fight him, and she was Zara’s best friend.
Bellisia nodded and turned away, allowing Ezekiel to sweep his arm around her. In Gino’s assessment, Bellisia was all the things she had said Zara was, just in a different way. She made Ezekiel happy, and that alone made Gino like her, but she saw into him and she didn’t like what she saw. He didn’t blame her. Because he could have been Bolan Zhu.
Gino slipped back into the bedroom and firmly closed the door. They didn’t need any more visitors. “You awake?” Her breathing told him she was.
“Thank you, Gino. I put you in a bad position and I’m sorry.”
“No problem, princess. I’m never going to mind handling things for you. That’s what I do. What I want to do.”
She half turned over, the movement awkward, and he remembered she was in that long skirt and blouse that were most likely uncomfortable. “I’ll get you into something you can sleep in, Zara.” Because he was sleeping in the bed with her, and full nudity might just be a problem for them both.
“Why don’t you mind having to take care of me, Gino? It usually makes everyone angry, or at the very least, annoyed.”
She sounded a little lost, and his heart turned over. “I like taking care of you. I’ll always like taking care of you.” Her blue eyes kept looking at him, wide and sad. He shrugged and told her the truth. “It feels like a privilege to me.”
“You’re a little crazy, you know that?”
He nodded solemnly. “Sadly, I’m well aware.”
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way, only that you’re so sweet to me, Gino. No one has ever been so good to me.”
“Baby, that isn’t true. Bellisia and your friend were always good to you, and they didn’t mind taking care of you either. Bellisia just told me that she would be happy to take over your care. I know you’re hurt because she didn’t go to you first, but when your man goes off on a suicide mission, or any mission because there’s a chance every time that he might not come back, you’ll be running to him.”
“You’re defending her, but it didn’t sound like she was being very nice to you.”
He shrugged. “I don’t mind, not when she’s looking out for you. I’m telling you up front, so there’s no misunderstanding, Zara, I’m not a nice man. Bellisia sees that in me. She also sees I’m interested in more than taking care of you as a patient. She doesn’t like it. I don’t blame her, but it isn’t going to stop me from pursuing a relationship with you.”
He took the IV from her arm and rubbed his thumb over the spot, watching her for a reaction to his declaration.
“I’m the one on painkillers, and you’re the one not making any sense. I don’t even look halfway decent right now.”
“It isn’t about your looks, Zara, although I’ve seen enough pictures to know you’re beautiful. I just don’t want there to be any misunderstanding between us. I want you with me. I’m determined to make that happen in spite of knowing there will be a few obstacles, and Bellisia is probably going to be one of them. Having said that, I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. You’re going to get the real man so you’ll know whether or not you can live with me.”
“Are you trying to scare me off?”
He looked into her upturned face and his heart did some crazy somersault in his chest. Her face was black and blue. There was even a little yellow, making her eyes and cheek very colorful.
“No, I just don’t want you to think you want to be with me because I rescued you.”
“That’s a legitimate worry,” she acknowledged.
“Or that you believe I can handle Zhu’s threat to you and once it’s over, you won’t need me anymore.”
“Like the gunslingers in the Old West. Come clean up the town, you did, thank you, so now leave,” she agreed.
He liked that she got it immediately. Even with the drugs in her system, her mind worked just fine. More than fine.
“What about the other way around, Gino?”
He raised an eyebrow and pushed back some of the thick reddish hair spilling around her face. He could spend a lifetime with his hands in her hair.
“I’m not always going to be beat-up.”
“No, you’re not. And I’m always going to want to take care of you. I’m always going to be that man standing in front of you. Sometimes you might not like it, Zara. That’s something you’re going to have to decide if you can live with.”
“Why me? I don’t see how it’s possible for a man as courageous as you to want to be with someone like me.”
“I’ve never met a woman braver. You need a home and a family of your own, and if I’m not mistaken, you want to stay in that home and take care of your family. I need that in my woman. I want her to put me first. To put our children first. And, princess, when I come home from a mission, I want you coming to me just the way Bellisia did to Zeke. She didn’t do a damn thing wrong. I know you were hurt, but you have to understand, she was right in going to her man and making him know he’s everything to her.”
Zara pressed her lips together, a little frown on her face. “I know you’re right, Gino. Intellectually, I know you’re right, but I had no idea she was with him. For me, she disappeared, and I worried she was dead. I was terrified when I was with Zhu, and frankly, I still am. I couldn’t wait to see her, and it felt like I didn’t matter in the least to her.”
“That isn’t true. If you could have seen Bellisia’s face when I told her what happened to you, you’d know you matter to her. Tomorrow, when you’re feeling better, you can meet all the women here. You’re going to love Nonny. She’s Wyatt’s grandmother and has lived here in the swamp all of her life. She’s an amazing woman.”
“The house smells the way I think a home should,” Zara said. “Welcoming.”
“I agree. Nonny knows her way around a shotgun, but she’s the most welcoming woman I’ve ever met.” At least she hadn’t shot him down and told him there was no way she would have any kind of an actual relationship with him. He’d been as honest with her and as up front about his intentions as he possibly could be and she wasn’t yelling her head off for Bellisia to come and save her. He supposed he should consider that a win, even if she hadn’t thrown herself into his arms and declared undying love.
“Just so you’re aware, Bellisia and Zeke would gladly take over your care if you prefer them to me. I told you, but you didn’t really address it. I need to know if you want them to handle the rest of your recovery.”
She slid back down in the bed. Even with her eyes black and blue, that slate blue staring up at him had his heart accelerating when facing men with guns didn’t.
“I don’t want them, Gino. I want you.” She made it a very firm statement.
“I’m taking your clothes off and inspecting every laceration before I put the tee on you. I’ll have to reapply the antibiotic ointment. All this traveling easily could have reopened the worst of them.” He wanted it clear he was shifting into caretaker mode.