I marched into Realm, a dark nightclub downtown and glanced upward, seeing my teammates hanging around the balcony of the VIP lounge above. There was a press event tonight, but it was the last thing I could focus on even though I should. I needed my brain on something else.
Heading for the bar, I placed my hands on the marble counter, jerking my chin at the bartender. He nodded, knowing what to get. Damon, Will, and Kai were already here, Realm being a favorite of ours.
I bowed my head, closing my eyes and trying to calm down.
I was losing. When she was around, she made everything small, and all I could see was her. All the years of misery she caused my friends suddenly didn’t matter, my focus blurred, and I lost sight of what she’d done and how my friends had suffered.
And how she needed to pay.
I hated her.
I had to hate her.
I didn’t have to force her in the car today. I didn’t care about the tears in her eyes or the way she couldn’t look at me before she climbed out.
I didn’t want to wipe away the hurt, I didn’t want to touch her, and I didn’t want to get her to scream at me again, because I’d never been so turned on.
She got out of the car, left me behind, and according to the doorman, hadn’t left Delcour since getting home that afternoon.
Good. Let her get used to that cage.
The bartender stepped over, carrying a fresh bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label and a rocks glass, setting it down in front of me. I poured a double shot and tipped back the glass, taking down the whole damn thing.
“Where the hell have you been?”
I tensed, hearing Kai’s voice at my side.
But I just poured another double, not answering him.
I’m just a stupid kid. My chest rose and fell faster, and I shot back the drink, taking all of it down again.
I set the glass down, blinking long and hard.
“Jesus. Are you okay?” he asked, sounding more worried than angry now.
“I’m fine.”
He placed both hands on the bar, leaning in as he peered over at me. “What was she doing there today?”
I downed a third shot, starting to feel the burn in my stomach blanket my veins in a warm buzz. The edges were blurring, and the tips of my fingers hummed.
I shook my head, setting the glass down. Out of everyone in my life—my father, my brother, my friends—it ended up being her that drove me to drink. Her fucking eyes, going from defiant to mischievous to hurt to on fire, and then finally, to broken.
Don’t be alone with her.
“Michael?” Kai prompted.
I let out a hard sigh, running my fingers over the top of my head. “Could you just…” I gritted out, “fucking shut up for five minutes and let me get my head straight?”
“Why isn’t your head straight already?” he demanded. “Because you know, we had a plan. Take everything and then take her, but all I see you doing is dicking around.”
I immediately straightened and darted my hand out, grabbing his collar.
He shoved my arm to the side, shaking his head and sneering, “Don’t go there. I want our little monster, with her big doe eyes, kneeling at my feet, and I’m not waiting anymore. I’d like you in on this, but I don’t need you.”
Not waiting anymore. She just got here! She was in Meridian City because of me. At Delcour because of me. Isolated because of me.
And there were only a couple of more things to take from her. They hadn’t waited that long.
But then I looked away. Yeah, they had. They’d waited far too long.
I pushed the bottle and glass away. “Where are they?” I asked him.
Kai stayed silent, still looking pissed but turned around and led the way.
I followed, the hard bass of the music vibrating under my feet as we walked through the club toward the private areas in back.
Kai and I never fought in the past. I shouldn’t have taken that shot at him.
But for some reason, he kept challenging me, and I felt further away from him now than when he was in prison. What the hell was going on? I expected Damon and Will in my face. Not Kai.
In many ways, he was the same as he’d always been. The thinker, the reasonable one, the brother that always looked out for the rest of us…But in many ways he had changed beyond recognition. He never smiled anymore, he took courses of action he wouldn’t have in high school, even knowing the consequences, and not once did I see him do one thing for pleasure since he’d gotten out. Damon and Will partied, drank, smoked, and buried themselves in * the first two weeks they were free.
Kai, on the other hand, hadn’t had a single drink or a woman in his bed. Not that I knew of anyway. Hell, I didn’t even think he listened to music anymore.
He needed to lose control, because I was starting to get concerned about whatever he was bottling up.