He looked to her.
“Do you think I’m crazy?” she asked.
“Not even a little bit.”
She studied him closely. “Then what is it, darlin’?”
He gave it to her without hesitation.
And he’d discover, he maybe shouldn’t have hesitated, but he should have been more careful with how he gave what he gave.
“She didn’t explain it that way, but I think that’s why Hope wanted us to move here. What she wanted to give us. She grew up here. She knew how good of a place it was to do that and more, just have. Life in a small town where the mall might be a trek and the only movie theater is fifteen miles away and there are only two screens.”
Something crossed her expression he wasn’t a big fan of before she twisted away to grab her mug and let go of her hold on his hand.
“Greta,” he called as she sipped, and when she looked at him, he noted, “It’s what she wanted for us. I didn’t get it then, but I’m getting it now. Think I was getting it before, after Nat was killed, what a shock that was because that kind of thing never happens here. I’m getting how folks look down on small towns, and maybe in my way, I did that too. How they think the people in them are hicks. How nothing much happens in a small town so folks think the people in them don’t know much about life. But it isn’t that. They just get more of the good without the shit leaking in. And now, getting that, I don’t mind as much that my boy is goin’ into the marines because he’s gonna have learned all he needs to know about bein’ a good man, a good person, leading a good life because of the goodness he grew up around that wasn’t screwed up with big city shit.”
“Yeah,” she agreed.
She still had a look on her face he didn’t like.
So he asked carefully, “Okay, sweetheart, you get it too, why do you look like I killed your puppy?”
Her expression turned startled then it softened with her smile as she put her mug back, twisted his way and leaned into him, getting close, her breasts brushing his arm, her smile not its usual luminous but kind of sad.
“It happens like this,” she stated confusingly. “You get low. Ask yourself a lot of questions. What did you do? What could you have done? Then you get pissed. Why didn’t they see what we had? Why didn’t they fight for it with me? And then you come to understand. You come to understand a lot of things. And that’s where you are right now, Hix. You’re coming to understand.”
He wasn’t, not even close.
But he guessed, “Are you talking about Hope?”
She nodded.
“Babe—”
“It’s okay, Hixon,” she said quietly, her smile gone, her face still soft, but the sadness was not close to hidden in her eyes.
He didn’t like that look.
And he still didn’t understand.
“What’s okay?”
“You said that night after the grocery store incident that it was an uncomfortable realization that she was a good mom but other than that . . .” She tipped her head to the side in a kind of shrug. “The truth is, you loved her. You don’t see the reasons why right now because you’re ticked at her. But they’ll come back through. You’ll remember them and the good times and—”
“Stop,” he ordered.
She stopped.
He watched her closely as he asked, “Are you saying you think I’m gonna get back with Hope?”
“You loved her a lot, Hixon. Everyone saw it. Even me.”
That was when he stared at her.
Before he started chuckling.
He didn’t roar with laughter mostly because Greta wasn’t looking sad anymore. She was looking miffed.
So he shared, “I’m not gonna get back with her.”
The sad came back. “You don’t know what the future will bring.”
Now he got it.
And it was definitely funny.
But since she didn’t think so, he had to take the time to explain.
“Right.” He turned to her, transferred his beer again and lifted a hand to cup her jaw, moving in to bring their faces even closer. “Even if she didn’t end our marriage not actually wanting to end our marriage but as a play to get an expensive ring, she never told me why she ended our marriage. Maybe it was dawning on her how I’d react to the real reason. Maybe she felt justified and truly thought I would get with her program. But regardless of all that, Greta, since then she’s behaved in ways that, yeah, I loved her. There were reasons. I’m not feelin’ ’em right now because I’m not feelin’ real warm and fuzzy about Hope right now. And maybe some miracle will occur and she’ll sort her shit out so I can remember some of that fondly so we have some kind of relationship that isn’t bitter or difficult and we can carry on raising our kids and being their parents in a way that isn’t ugly. But other than that, babe, believe me, it is well and truly done.”
“I know you can think that, Hixon, but history has a strong pull.”
What was she really telling him?
He withdrew a couple of inches and dropped his hand from her jaw.
“Are you still hung up on this Keith guy?” he asked.
Her eyes rounded, her lips tipped up and her body started shaking.
Her answer was shaky too. “Uh, no.”
“So what are you saying?” he pressed.
Her humor died. “Hix, I saw you with her.”
“Babe, you shared a decade with a man who,” he jerked his head to the side to indicate her house, “if what he gave you when he divorced you is any indication, when he had you, he gave you and the brother you adore a pretty damned good life. I don’t have to see you with him to know you’re speaking from some kind of experience right now.”
“Hix—”
“Everyone saw me with Hope. It’s a small town. We got kids so we’re always out and around, and I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’m in an elected position, but they had more than a healthy interest in her and me, and I don’t gotta say because you gotta know, now you and me.”
“You don’t know why?” she asked, her eyes big again.
“No. People gossip but I get they do it more about me. Hope and me. The kids and me. You and me.”
“You don’t know why,” she repeated as a statement this time, her words again shaking.
“I’m not seein’ anything funny.”
“Hixon, you’re hot.”
“Greta—”
She put her fingers over his lips. “No, baby. Seriously. You’re hot. You’re like, movie star hot. You’re like a twenty-four-seven reality program starring yourself. You don’t even have to do anything interesting, but you wear that sheriff’s shirt and it makes you more hot. You looked great with Hope. Your kids are gorgeous. You were like the royal family of Glossop.”
He wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her fingers away but didn’t let her go when he declared, “That’s ridiculous.”
“Apparently, our sheriff hasn’t deduced the pull of a hot guy law enforcement officer,” she muttered over his shoulder, not hiding she thought this was hilarious.
“Greta,” he growled.
She grinned and looked back at him. “Get on Facebook sometime. Or Google. Or anywhere.”
Fuck.