I wasn’t nervous because it was Friday and timing was tight. By my calculations, I’d have just enough of it to watch Mamie’s recital, maybe be with Hixon after she was done as he gave her the big bouquet of flowers he’d brought with him, before I had to take off and get to the Dew Drop. There, I had to slap on some extra makeup, do something with my hair, pull on my dress and be onstage for the first of my sets, which thanks to Gemini being cool, started that night at nine thirty not my usual eight thirty.
No, I was nervous because I’d been able to talk Hix out of pressing me into going to see any of Corinne’s volleyball games because I didn’t want to be too in your face to Hope about my place in Hix’s life so soon after they’d established their détente. Even if it made timing to get to the Dew tight, I went to all the home football games with Hix because Raider Field was larger, more open and seemed safer, for Hope and for me. The gymnasium seemed more closed in, smaller, with less opportunity to be able to put space between us.
I felt guilty about this because Corinne definitely wanted me to go see a game. She didn’t come right out and say it but I could tell by her demeanor when the Drakes talked about the games around me that she was disappointed I didn’t show. And the season was almost over. Not to mention, it hadn’t been days since Hix and Hope sorted things out, it was now weeks. I needed to hit a game.
But Mamie’s dance recitals didn’t come around very often. The next one was a Christmas show that would heavily feature the younger dancers, with no solos, while this one was about the older girls, and specifically Mamie, who had a solo. The next big recital wasn’t until spring and it wasn’t a given she’d have a solo.
So I had to attend.
I wanted to attend.
However, the auditorium was even smaller than the gymnasium and Hope and her entire family would be there.
So I was nervous. I didn’t want an incident. And Hope had proven to be like my mom in some respects, especially the ones where you couldn’t predict when she might pull something.
This was why we hadn’t brought Andy. It sucked because he’d wanted to come. But if some scene was to play out, I didn’t want it to play out in front of him, especially in public. He had an excuse for his unpredictability, but he was still unpredictable, and if something should happen, I could deal. I didn’t want Andy to have to deal too.
We’d promised he could go to the Christmas recital. I just hoped Hope would carry on as she was so he actually could.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Hix whispered in my ear as we walked down the aisle, the attention we were getting something we always got because Hix was Hix, I was with him, all that had gone on had gone on, and that came with the territory.
“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled.
“Babe,” he said as he stopped us beside a row but didn’t start leading us in.
I looked up at him.
“It’s been weeks. And this is Mamie’s night. She’s makin’ an effort. I know her, Greta. Can’t say I fully understood the games she played over the last year but the woman we’re dealin’ with now I know well. She loves her daughter. She’s not gonna screw up this night for her.”
Before I could reply, I heard, “Hix, son. Greta, darlin’. Good to see you both.”
We turned to see Jep and his wife Marie standing close.
Jep had his hand raised.
Hix took it, shook it, offered a greeting to them both and let Jep go to move in and kiss Marie’s cheek.
Jep then moved in to kiss mine before Marie moved in to give me an awkward hug.
We settled in our uncomfortable huddle with eyes all over the auditorium on us and Jep said, “Lookin’ forward to watchin’ our little girl wow us tonight.”
“Yeah,” Hix replied.
“Heard . . .” Marie started, stopped, and started again. “Heard that cute thing you did on Halloween, Greta. Mamie told us all about it. Reckon all the kids in town’ll be goin’ up Hixon’s walk next October thirty-first.”
I smiled at her and at the kind way she made it plain she thought I’d be with Hix next Halloween and she was (relatively) okay with that.
“Best buy more candy then,” I replied.
She smiled back and I turned when a man’s voice said, “Ma, Dad, we need to find our seats.”
It was then I saw one of Hope’s brothers standing not close but not far. But how he was standing was turned slightly to the side, his arm up behind him toward Hope, like he was holding her back because she faced some physical threat from Hix and me.
“Reed, have you met Greta?” Jep asked.
“Heard enough about the woman, don’t need to meet her,” Reed replied.
I stilled.
Hix turned fully to Reed, his frame set in a way that was more than a little alarming, but the vibe coming off him was beyond alarming.
“Reed!” Marie snapped like he wasn’t whatever-age-he-was (I was guessing mid-forties) but instead about eight.
“Son, this is not—” Jep started.
“Reed, for crap’s sake,” Hope hissed, rounded her brother’s arm and got closer to all of us in order to whisper irately, “Don’t be a dick.”
This time it was Hix who grew still.
I blinked.
“Hix, pretty flowers, Mamie’ll love them,” she said to Hixon and looked to me. “Hey, Greta. Sweet you can make it. Mamie was hoping you could.”
My mind was tumbling with things to try to catch onto in order to push out a reply, but Hope kept talking before I got the chance to say a word.
“Now the curtain will be up soon and seats are filling so we should find some. Hix, Greta, enjoy,” she bid us then started hustling along.
It was then I got over my surprise and noted how much that took out of her because she didn’t do it for the audience of onlookers who were watching with avid interest. She did it for Hix. For Mamie. And maybe for me.
But it hurt her to do it.
It hurt a great deal.
“Hope’s right, we best be gettin’ on. Take care, you two,” Jep said, and he led Marie after Hope.
Her brother Reed glared at us as he stomped past but her other brother stopped, said hello to Hixon and so did Jessie, his wife. Molly, Reed’s wife, who looked fit to be tied, also stopped, forcing a smile at me in between glaring at her husband’s back.
They left.
Hix guided me into the row, right in the middle, where we could see everything. It was also four rows back from where Hope and her family settled, also right in the middle.
Hix took my hand.
I pulled in a deep breath.
“That cost her,” I whispered trying not to stare at the back of Hope’s head.
“Yeah,” Hix whispered back.
I turned eyes up to him. “You okay?”
He looked down at me. “Sure. You?”
I nodded.
He bent in and touched his mouth to mine.
When he pulled back a couple of inches, he grinned gently and said softly, “This is gonna work.”
I grinned back and nodded.
“You think we’ll miss complicated?” I asked.
He settled in, eyes to the stage, muttering, “It’ll come back, sweetheart. So let’s enjoy this while it lasts.”
I knew he was not wrong.
What I didn’t know was how heartbreaking it would be when he was proved right.
I was up in my bathroom putting the final touches on when the doorbell rang.
I turned and stared at the opened doorway to my bathroom, frowning and wondering who that could be.