I hoist my backpack over my shoulder and walk to the front of the room. She’s one of the few women I’ve ever met who is taller than me. Her dad played football and her brother is quarterback of the Tennessee Titans, and Coach Woods herself was a player in high school. She coaches the team here now. Condom races aside, I really like her because she talks to us like we’re adults.
“I don’t have to do the condom test again, do I?”
“No.” She sits on top of her desk. “I wanted to ask you about what you said about never having time for a boy.”
I shrug. “It’s true. I don’t even have time to dry my hair.”
“I know how you feel. When I was a senior, I had to spend all my time training. And when I wasn’t doing that, I was watching game film or in the weight room. It was tough working toward a college scholarship, so I can’t even imagine what it’s like for you.” She shakes her head, and her face goes from sad to one of wonder. “You’re working toward the Olympics!”
It’s awesome that people support me. It truly is. It motivates me. But it’s also pretty scary. What if I let them down? I let my school down last year when I lost to Roxy at state. What if that happens again? What if that trend continues to the long course meets? What if Roxy gets to go with Levi to Omaha, and I’m stuck in Tennessee watching on TV?
Coach Woods goes on, “I wanted you to know that I figured out how to balance football and having a boyfriend senior year.”
“How?”
“It helped that I was dating a guy on the team”—she pauses to smile—“but I also found that if I dated someone who supported me and understood why I practiced so hard, it made it easier to spend time with him. He was willing to work around my schedule.”
I think about my friends. We always make time for each other on Friday nights.
“It would be nice to meet someone,” I admit.
“I also remember feeling like no one would take me seriously as an athlete if I had a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, I understand that,” I reply, thinking of how Coach Josh got fed up with Susannah when she was dating Lucas. “I worry that people will question my dedication if I were to start spending time with a guy.”
Coach Woods picks up the football on her desk and tosses it to herself. “Well I can solve your first problem right there. Stop worrying what other people think.”
“That’s not so easy. I don’t want to disappoint my parents or my coach.”
“I think you’ll find they want you to be happy, Maggie. You work hard. You practice hard. They won’t mind if you take a little time for yourself.” She stops tossing her ball and cradles it to her chest. “Most people are so busy thinking about themselves they aren’t worried about other people. It’s human to think that everyone is always watching everything we do, but they aren’t.”
“Even when that person might be going to the Olympic trials?” Coach Josh watches us New Wave kids pretty closely. He’s like a CIA agent, keeping dibs on how late I stay up at night and when my muscles are tight. “I don’t know if I agree with that.”
Coach Woods sets her ball down on the desk. “You’re right. It’s not always that simple. But I wanted you to know that I once thought I didn’t have time for guys, but I was able to make it work.”
I smile at her, appreciating she can admit life isn’t black and white.
Mine sure isn’t.
Levi is waiting outside Coach Woods’ classroom to walk me to lunch. When he sees me, he pushes himself off the wall where he’d been leaning and adjusts his backpack and black knit cap.
“Why’d she keep you late?” he asks.
Not wanting to tell him what she said, I make something up: “Because I failed my condom race, and then I tried to eat the banana.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “What?”
I wave a hand to dismiss the conversation.
He says, “I heard you announced in front of the class that you’re never gonna have time for sex, so why bother learning to use a condom.”
I knew I shouldn’t have said that. Good gossip travels fast at this school. “I was joking.”
He holds the door open to the noisy cafeteria, ushering me inside. “This whole hooking up thing is really bothering you.”
I shrug a little. “Sometimes I feel lonely, that’s all.”
“You’ve got me.”
“I know, but I want a little more than friendship.” I want to make out. I want a guy to press his body to mine and kiss me all over. And for crying out loud, what does an orgasm feel like? “I want someone to snuggle with.”
“Snuggling makes me hot.”
“Like hot and bothered?”
“No, like sweaty hot. Too much body heat for me.”
I smile. “You’re hopeless.”
We sit down at our regular table by the windows with Hunter and Georgia. After saying hi, I unpack my lunch of pasta and energy drinks. Hunter’s already halfway through his sub sandwich, and Georgia’s devouring a grilled chicken salad…and some bread and soup. She’s way over the calorie count suggested by the college cheerleading coach, but I think that went in one ear and out the other, which is good. It doesn’t seem healthy to be that restrictive given her workouts. I follow her gaze a few tables away to where David, the guy who likes her, is eating with the Quiz Bowl team.
I nudge her in the side. “He’s looking at you.”
“Shh.” She focuses on her salad. Does she not want Hunter and Levi to know? I guess I can understand why. David is the exact opposite of us. I mean, he runs, but he’s about half the size of Hunter and Levi. She seemed worried about what I’d think of him, so I imagine it’s the same with our guy friends. Probably even more so.
Two sophomores drop by our table to say hi to Levi. One of them lives down the street from him, but I don’t know her name. I do know, however, that she’s grown very pretty as she’s gotten older.
“Hi, ladies,” he says.
I shift in my seat, and focus on twirling pasta around my fork.
“Levi,” the neighbor says. “We got a new puppy!”
“What kind?” he asks.
“A Bernese Mountain Dog!”
Levi folds his hands behind his head and grins up at her. “Aww.”
“His name is Patches. Can I bring him by sometime to meet Pepper?”
“Of course. Anytime.”
I pretend to look at my phone while Levi and the cute neighbor make plans for a doggy date. It’s not as if he’s mine, but the vibe between us feels a little off ever since I kissed him. Hopefully it’s something I’ll get used to, like when you buy a new pair of jeans that feel tight at first, but eventually stretch and mold to your body.
Lucky for me, Shelby Goodwin leaves her table of sophomore friends to come sit on Hunter’s lap, distracting me from the girl flirting with Levi. “Hey, you guys.” They whisper and flirt for a sec, and Hunter pulls her in for a kiss.
“Want to be my girlfriend?” he asks her, as he does every day.
“Stop,” she giggles, gently pushing his chest. She still won’t commit to him.
Why can none of us seem to have a regular relationship?
Shelby wraps an arm around his neck, and they start kissing again.
“I’m eating here,” I tease.
Hunter breaks apart from Shelby. “Mags, what’s this about you telling Coach Woods you’ll never have time for sex?”
I groan, then start laughing along with my friends.
Unsanctioned Activities
On Friday night, I have to drive myself to Jiffy Burger.