Asha shakes her head and smiles as she throws herself back on the couch.
“What a whirlwind. That sounds so romantic.”
“It was. Kinda,” I say, staring into the distance as I recall all those conversations again, tapping into what I actually feel as if I’m in confession. “He’s different than what I thought. I mean he’s exactly like you’d suspect: Confident, meticulous, kinda stubborn, but…there’s more to him. He can be really sweet. Like at lunch today, he switched our desserts because I tried his and liked it more. And I noticed that whenever I would talk about food his eyes would linger on me for a second before he spoke—as if he was really, genuinely thinking about what I’d said. Most guys just glaze over when I start talking about food. I mean I know Cole’s a chef too, but it’s really nice to have someone just…get it.”
When I finish talking I turn to Asha and see that she’s got a knowing grin on her face.
“What?” I say.
“You’re falling for him. Hard.”
“No!”
“You are, Willow. I’m not blind. You sound a high-schooler talking about the MVP of the basketball team.”
I look down, unable to really deny it.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Pretty much,” Asha smiles.
After a little silence I take a long drink of water and sigh deeply.
“I’m just on a high from the trip, it’ll probably pass as soon as I’m back at work—real work.”
Asha frowns and sits up. “Why are you so intent on not having fun?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re seeing a guy who’s incredibly hot, rich, and—according to you—pretty charismatic, not to mention fantastic in bed, but you act like you wish you were single again.”
“It’s not that…I just don’t want to delude myself. I’ve been burned before—not just by men, but by being optimistic, expecting things to work out, hoping for the best. I don’t want to let my emotions out and suddenly find them being trampled on. This could be nothing, you know? Just fooling around. I don’t want to go thinking that it means something when I don’t know if it actually does.”
Asha sighs, and I can’t tell if she’s feeling pitiful or unconvinced.
“The guy just took you on a two day trip to a fancy hotel in Vegas so that you could help him with his new business and screw you silly. And before that he took you to a private beach spot and opened up about his deep, dark past. He’s giving you everything he’s got. What more of a sign do you want, girl? Are you still gonna be calling it ‘nothing’ when he proposes?”
I laugh nervously, half imagining Cole on one knee before quickly pushing the image away. “Everybody and their grandma knows Cole Chambers likes sex—and like I said, he spent a hell of a time getting it while we were away. Maybe that’s all he wanted? Maybe that’s all I am to him? A business trip where he can get a decent second opinion while getting his rocks off at the same time.”
Asha’s expression is dismissive now, and I can tell she’s losing patience, though she’s sweet enough to keep trying.
“Quit asking what you are to him and ask yourself what he is to you. Didn’t you ask him at any point how he felt? About what exactly you two had between you?”
I shrug, feeling na?ve as I do so.
“It seems kind of quick to be asking. Do people really do that?”
“I do,” Asha says, swinging her head as she says it, and emphasizing the words in an almost musical way. “See: Men love it when you don’t know where you stand. Especially men like Cole Chambers. They’re like predators. It’s all good when they’re hunting you down, got you in their sights, doing everything they damned well can to get your panties off, but once they finally do, they don’t know when to stop playing and decide to commit.”
Asha gets up and nods for me to follow as she moves to her bedroom.
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” I say, as she starts moving around the room. I notice the dress laid out nicely on the bed, the handbag emptied on the dresser.
“Of course it’s that simple,” Asha says as she peels off the bathrobe to reveal her underwear, and checks her body in the mirror before pulling her braids back to clip them. “You know, Cole might be waiting for some sign from you that this is more than just sex.”
“I doubt it,” I say, as I sit on the edge of her bed. “Cole doesn’t wait for anything, pretty much.”
“Well you need to ask him outright what’s going on, what he wants, and make damned sure he’s on the same page as you.”
“You make it sound so easy…hey, where are you going?”
Asha smiles as she peels her dress from the bed and holds it out in front of her.
“I don’t just talk a good game,” she says, winking. “I’ve got a date with a heart surgeon who’s been turning up to my classes for a couple of months now, chatting me up after class—although he’s already got the body of a middle-weight.” Asha pauses to delicately zip up her dress and check herself in the mirror again. “I’ve spent the whole week driving him crazy with sexy pictures, and I figured it’s about time both of us got what we wanted.”
“Lucky guy.”
“If he plays his cards right. What do you think of this perfume?”
I watch (and occasionally help) Asha get herself ready, enjoying the sight of her confident, well-practiced routine. In a funny kind of way, nothing has felt more ‘L.A.’ than what Asha’s getting herself into; two confident people who know what they want, going for it no holds barred, and no doubt getting it. It’s a long way from my teenage experiences, wearing my lucky pair of faded jeans to go out with guys in shirts that were crisp from underuse. Sipping sodas at a diner where the truck drivers and farmers would grab quick lunches. Maybe parking at that spot in the woods to fool around clumsily. Maybe she’s got the right idea. Maybe it is that easy to just put yourself out there.
“Listen, honey,” Asha says when she’s finished dressing, putting her hands on my shoulders so that she can look me in the eye sincerely. “I know it’s cheesy but you’ve got to follow your heart. Your head will stop you from doing anything, and your body will make you do things you regret—but your heart will always lead you to happiness—even if the path there is a little bumpy.”
I smile, suddenly feeling a warmth in my chest and a little flicker in my eyes.
“I’m a chef. I know how good a little cheese can be. Thanks, Asha.”
She pats my cheek gently, grabs her bag from the bed, then walks out of the apartment with an elegance and speed that’s incredible for the height of her heels.
I go to my room to get ready for bed, head still spinning from everything.