“Because,” she sniffled, “my mom’s cheating! My dad alluded to that much this morning when I saw him. He was so upset, and he said, he said—”
“Your dad’s a fucking liar,” I interrupted with barely restrained anger. “And your mom was just asking me if it was true.”
“If what was true?”
“I can’t do this here.” I looked around the busy street, at the people scurrying beneath colorful umbrellas as they passed us by.
“Well, this is your only choice or I walk!”
“Damn it, Austin, why do you have to be so stubborn!”
“Tell me!” She shoved against my chest. “Are you . . . ?” Her lips quivered. “Why was she in your office that day? Why was she kissing you!” She spit out the last part like I’d done something unforgiveable. And maybe I had.
“It’s not what it looks like.” I reached for her, but she jerked away. “We were just talking.”
“Oh, that’s rich. Just talking. You were just talking and holding hands.” Her look went from pissed to horrified. “Was that it? Was that the reason? You were using me to get to my own mother!” She stumbled backward. “She gave you something in the office that day, and you said, you said . . .” Her eyes filled with more tears as they spilled over onto her cheeks. “You said I was a girl and you wanted a woman—” She hiccupped.
I kissed her roughly across the mouth.
She beat me on the chest and then sank into my hungry kiss.
“Austin, I love you. YOU.”
“But—”
“Stop talking and just listen, think you can do that?”
“No.”
I sighed. “Well, I tried.”
She glared at me even though I could tell the corners of her mouth twitched to lift into a smile.
“Let’s go.” I tugged her hand toward the Starbucks across the street and ordered some hot Pike Place Roast for both of us before leading her to a table in the corner.
“Why would you be meeting my mom?” Her eyes held so much hurt, and I was about to make it so much worse.
“Your dad’s cheating.”
Her shoulders slumped as she went completely still and then whispered, “That doesn’t explain why you’d be meeting with my mom.”
I sighed, feeling like pouring hot coffee all over my face to at least give me a brief reprieve from the cold rain before I confessed all my sins.
“Your dad’s cheating on your mom . . .” I cleared my throat and made sure to look directly into her eyes. The bomb was about to drop. I hesitated. Because what type of person wanted to have this conversation? “With mine.”
She frowned. “Your what?”
“My mom.”
“Huh?”
“My mom,” I said slowly. “Your dad.”
Austin’s jaw dropped a few inches. “What?”
“This has been going on for three months,” I ground out. “I found out about a month after we started dating.”
“How?”
“My father found out and ran to tell me he had proof . . .” And here came the really uncomfortable part. “He had pictures of our parents together. And said he was going to go to the press, was going to finally ruin my mother and ‘show the world what a slut she is.’ Mind you, my father’s a raging alcoholic, so I’m not even sure he’d make it to the news station without stopping at the nearest bar and getting drunk off his ass.” I paused. “And then . . . he saw you. Put two and two together and . . . well . . . suddenly it was like I was nineteen again, walking in on my mother with our gardener. My father blaming her for ripping apart our family even though he’d made the first mistake.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Damn it, Austin, I didn’t want you to know this way. I didn’t want you to know at all. I thought if I just pushed you away . . .” I didn’t want to keep talking. At all. It hurt finally telling her the truth, because every word caused her to flinch like I was delivering a physical punch to her gut.
Finally Austin asked, “Where are the pictures now?”
“I have them.” I shifted uncomfortably. “In my apartment.”
“You have pictures of your mom and my dad . . . naked?” she hissed.
I groaned into my hands. “It’s not like I’m keeping a sordid private stash, Austin!”
Her eyes welled up with tears and then narrowed. “When did you say you found out?”
I was silent and then said, “I was angry at you. But it was misdirected, the anger. I was angry at myself. At my family for ruining one more good thing in my life—you.”
Her expression almost killed me, so lost, so full of hurt and pain, pain I had caused.
“I was angry at your dad, angry at my mom, and even angry at my dad for telling me that I was just like them. Both of my parents are cheaters. And it scared me, scared me that he was right. And the closer we got, you and I, the more panicked I felt. What if I was capable of that? And when I finally realized I wasn’t, that I wanted to be with you, I realized a relationship was impossible. It would destroy you.”
Austin looked down at the table. “So you did exactly what they did, right? You became the man you never wanted to turn into—and cheated.”
“I kissed Brooke. I didn’t like it. And it was enough to make you so angry that you’d break up with me, or so I thought—and then you came back, and I almost told you the truth. But my father, he opened his door just a crack and—”
“Whoa, whoa, back up. He was in your apartment?”
I frowned and then tried not to wince. “No, he uh, he lives across the hall.”
“Creepy neighbor man is your dad?”
“Smells like whiskey?”
She nodded.
“Looks like hell?”
Another nod.
“Probably him.”
She reached for my hand, but I jerked away. I didn’t want her pity or her sadness, not right now. I still had more to say.
“I broke up with you to protect you. Eventually, the affair will come out. They’re careless, our parents. And you’ll be caught up in all of it.” I stood and backed away.
“Thatch.” Tears filled her eyes as she clenched her jaw. “Thatch, what are you doing?”
“What’s best.” I almost couldn’t find my voice. “Weathering this storm together is always an option. Or I could leave.”
“No,” Austin growled. “You don’t get to decide for both of us. That’s not how these things work.” Her eyes flashed as she shoved against my chest and then gripped my shirt between her fingers, pulling me close. Her eyes glittered with anger. “Did you ever consider that I would want you by my side when the scandal came out? That I would need you to survive it? All of it?”
She shoved me away.
I let her.
And stared in shock.
I blinked and opened my mouth but didn’t really know what to say. Because in every single scenario, I’d never thought of this one, the one where the girl wants to be by my side come hell or high water.
Because my mom had chosen to hurt my dad.
My dad had chosen to hurt my mom.
All I had seen in their relationship was pain.