He frowned. “There’s no telling what might’ve happened if several things had been different in our lives. Looking for someone to blame doesn’t bring anyone back, Lilah.”
A calm anger rolled through me and I reached out to grab the edge of the table. If my mother was still alive I would have gripped her shoulders through her jail cell bars and shaken her body until she screamed at me to stop. How can someone be so evil? So selfish? How could she not care more about her only friend?
I turned away from him to look out the back door. Without the porch light on, I could see parts of my reflection in the windowpanes.
“Did they ever find the guys who killed her?” I asked as I stared at my reflection.
“Yes.”
“Do you think Mom helped identify the person?”
He nodded and chewed on his bottom lip. “I know she did.”
With a deep breath, I stood up from my chair and rounded the table. I didn’t want any more answers. That was enough for one day. My dad wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders and I sunk into the crook of his neck. He smelled like home, a familiar woodsy scent that I’d missed in Austin.
I whispered against his hair. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, Lil. I don’t tell you enough.” He squeezed me tighter before releasing me.
I stood up and wiped the tears from my face. I was headed out of the kitchen when I thought of one last question.
“Dad.”
I spun around to find him watching me with sad eyes.
“Do you think…I'm like her?”
It was a loaded question. Part of me wanted nothing to do with the woman.
He smiled softly. “You have all of her best qualities. When I first met her, she was beautiful and kind. She was truly a brilliant woman.”
I nibbled on the side of my mouth.
“Does that help?”
I shook my head, trying to clear my head. “I'm not sure yet.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chase
Lilah was nowhere to be found on Saturday morning. I knocked on her door and let Harvey into her room to scope it out for me. He came back with one of her socks in his mouth, very proud of himself for accomplishing such a stealthy recon mission. Some help you are.
We had the week off of baseball, so I lingered around the house all day, fixing cameras with my door open. I angled my chair against my desk, set out my tools, and peeked into the hallway whenever I thought I heard footsteps on the stairs. By the end of the day, I was convinced the Calloways’ house was haunted—either that or I was going crazy.
Around dinnertime, I headed downstairs and found Coach seasoning meat for tacos.
“Have you seen Lilah?” he asked, peering over his shoulder at me.
I shook my head. “Not since last night.”
He nodded and turned back to the stove. We both knew there was no point in worrying. Lilah would come back when she was ready and not a second before.
After dinner, I showered, packed up my cameras and tools, and then pulled The Stranger out of my backpack. I climbed in bed, pulled out my bookmark, and propped myself against the pillows as I started to read. Harvey was by my side and I was absentmindedly petting him while I flipped through the pages of the novel. I didn't have a clue what time it was when I heard a light tapping on my door.
“Chase, are you awake?” Lilah whispered.
Harvey peered up at me with tired eyes, clearly annoyed at being awoken from his beauty sleep.
“Lilah?” I threw the blankets off and sat up. “Yeah, I’m awake.”
The door creaked open and then Lilah slowly stepped through wearing pajama shorts and a tank top. I swallowed and pulled my gaze to her face.
“What’s wrong?”
Her eyes were downcast.
“I’m really sorry, Chase.”
I swiveled my legs off the side of my bed. “Lilah, no, you don’t have to be sorry.”
She crossed her arms and scanned the room around me. There wasn't much to look at, but I guess anything was better than meeting my eyes. What is she so afraid of?
“I’ve spent all day thinking about it…” she admitted with a meek tone. “And I don’t know where to go from here.”
At times I wondered if Lilah and I were buried too deep in our pasts to ever work out. There were layers that had to be completely demolished before we could get to anything real, and at some point, there would be an end to us. Whether it was an end I’d be happy with, I couldn’t be sure.
“Do you want to talk about something else instead?” I asked, trying my damnedest to unlock the secrets of Lilah Calloway.
She nibbled on her bottom lip and shook her head.
“How about I talk?” I asked, making sure my voice was low enough that we wouldn't wake up her dad.
She nodded and took a step closer to the bed. Harvey sat up, hopeful that she'd come closer and pet him. I pushed him farther down so that he was at the foot of the bed.
“C'mon,” I told Lilah, patting the pillow next to mine.
She moved quickly as if relieved by my invitation to lie down beside me. I watched her round the bed and slip under the covers, bringing the smell of her shampoo with her. I inhaled deeply and then burrowed down beside her. When our eyes met, she smiled, small and simple.