Mostly he kept out of it and didn’t try to grab that intimacy for himself because…well, he remembered.
All the times he had gone over to a married buddy’s house after one of their own was killed, all the times they’d hung out on a deck drinking beer and reminiscing about the stupidest, funniest, craziest things that friend had ever done, while the wife put the kids to bed and brought out a couple more beers and maybe squeezed her husband’s shoulder and gave Chase a sympathetic I-hurt-for-you-too look but let them have that time.
He wondered if Vi would ever do that for him.
He wondered if talking her into marrying him meant more than hot sex and fun challenges and finally having his own kids to play with but was…deeper. Quieter. More…there.
Her eyes lifted suddenly and met his. Their gazes held for an odd moment. He was the one who looked down.
He looked back up almost immediately, feeling almost—and this was surreal—shy. But she had already turned her head. A moment later, when he was watching vibrant Célie as she spoke, he thought Vi looked at him again, but couldn’t catch her at it.
That was okay. The less she looked at him, the more he could watch her. That fine, proud chin of hers, the beautiful cheekbones, the way her hair slid over her shoulder when she turned her head, making his own skin itch to know what that felt like sliding over his.
Watching her made him feel naked.
He frowned into his nearly full wine glass and then set it aside, resting his head against the arm of the couch behind him, trying to turn his brain off. Just be in the moment.
He was good at being in the moment, but this one scared him. He kept wanting to escape out of it to long-term planning or worrying about the past and future, because the moment itself felt too wide open and full of wishing.
It was after midnight before Vi’s friends finally went home. Chase sank his butt more firmly into the floor as they kept giving him insistent glances while they were getting their things. Célie jerked her chin at him and said something low-voiced to Vi.
“It’s okay,” Vi said. “I want to talk to him.”
Damn talking. But that sounded like a reprieve, where kicking him out was concerned, so he stood to shake hands good-bye with the women.
They looked at his handshake bemusedly. But neither of them offered to do that kissing thing instead that they’d taught him about in his LREC training.
By the time Vi had closed the door on her friends, he had managed to get back to one of the two couches and stretch out on it, making his body as heavy and supine as possible. A two-hundred-pound man who was sitting up—well, you could almost expect him to be able to get to his feet and get going. But supine…good luck moving that.
Vi stood with her hands on her hips looking down at him a moment.
“I’m listening,” he said.
“Yeah, but you’re not giving answers, are you?”
It would be so nice to get it off his chest. Just tell her. I did make the call. I couldn’t risk it, honey. Have you ever seen what ricin can do? I had to save you. Your team. The world. In case.
But instead of losing all plausible deniability for his country and this operation, he could only shake his head with a little sigh. “I’m just in private security, honey.”
She gave him an annoyed look, but he really must have worn out her annoyed-look muscles, because this one lacked punch. Slinging herself down on the other couch, she crossed her long legs at the ankle and rested her head on the opposite arm.
“Mademoiselle Gorgeous,” he corrected himself.
“Oh, shut up.” She closed her eyes. He smiled at her. He couldn’t help it. She was so pretty, and every time she told him to shut up or threw something at him, he got such a charge out of it. Besides, he would way rather she fight him than go down without any fight at all just because she had no visible opponent.
She opened her eyes again and caught him smiling. Oops. Green eyes gazed at him a long moment. “I’ve known Lina for years,” she said suddenly. “She’s a fantastic pastry chef, and if you guys are suspecting her of something just because her grandparents came from Syria and Algeria, you’re racist idiots.”
Not suspecting, no. But she did have that cousin. Of course, Chase had cousins himself, and if he had to take the blame for everything a couple of them did, he’d be in jail right along with them.
Still, no harm in stirring the pot. See if Lina mentioned to anyone the suspicious American military guy hanging around Vi, see if that tenuous is-anything-wrong information spread in certain directions, if Chase’s ambiguous appearance in Vi’s life and the salmonella story stirred up enough doubt to pick up chatter and phone calls they could trace. Or see if there was no reaction at all and no need to worry so damn much.