Going back inside, I made a cup of tea and followed her out.
The stars were bright, the clear night sky bringing with it a severe chill to the air. I shivered, pulling my cardigan around me to trap in some heat as I meandered down the decking stairs and onto the lawn. Red barked in the distance, probably spotting some random animal in the undergrowth and deciding it would be a fun toy.
The steam from my tea swirled high and I took a sip. For the first time in a long while I felt settled, at ease with myself. I’d never much ‘liked’ myself. The way I had forbidden Samantha a memory and the recognition she deserved had always hung heavy in my soul, and kept me on the edge of fear.
Now there was a calm that had settled inside me. Yet there was a niggle of worry, this time due to other factors, that refused to allow my mind any peace.
I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what but I saw it in Anderson. I’d catch him looking at me with so much sadness that it had stolen my breath. The way he watched me, with both awe and bleakness, verified the fact that he was troubled.
The way he spoke to my stomach with so much sorrow confused me. He spoke as though he wasn’t ever going to see our baby grow up. He’d slipped up once or twice, and I’d seen the flicker of discipline flash in his eyes before he’d changed his mood and then spoke with happiness.
I’d tried to question Robbie earlier, but he had shaken me off. But I’d seen the knowledge in his eyes. He knew exactly what was going on and it maddened me to know they were both excluding me.
Anderson had failed to get any information from Terry, or so he’d told me.
I frowned to myself as I took another drink of my tea. What if Terry had told him something so bad that Anderson daren’t tell me? Had it been something Terry had told him that was causing all this trouble to his mind?
I knew Anderson would never tell me, especially if it was something concerning me.
Dreading the decision that came into my mind, I swallowed my nerves and whistled low for Red’s attention. She came immediately, her obedience one of the things I loved her for.
Locking up, Red tilted her head at the sudden anxiety that coated every one of my hitched breaths, but she backed down when I clicked my fingers towards her bed. She sat upright, regarding me suspiciously.
“It’s okay. I’ll be okay.”
Her tail wagged as I bent and stroked her head, but she watched me like a hawk as I opened the basement door and stepped into hell itself.
IT HAD BEEN A HARD night. I ached everywhere and a couple of my broken ribs were giving me jip as I slowly walked home. I was tired, exhausted, and it reflected in the drag of my feet on the pavement.
It was a cool night and I welcomed the chill on my skin.
“Evening, Anderson.” Mohammed, the proprietor of my local shop smiled at me. “You look sore tonight.”
I smiled, my cheek aching with the action. “Tough one.”
He nodded in understanding and passed me my usual packet of cigarettes. Totalling them up with the bottle of whisky I had snatched off the shelf, he took my money and entered it into the till.
“Word on the street, Anderson.”
My eyes snapped up to his and I narrowed my eyes but gave him a nod to go on.
“Someone’s been asking questions.”
“Who?”
He shrugged as he handed me back my change. “No name yet, but tall guy, red hair and eyes like a viper, I’ve been told. I’ve got my ear to the ground. As soon as I have it then it’s yours.”
“Thank you.”
I slipped him a couple of twenties and bid him goodnight, lighting a cigarette as soon as I stepped foot outside the shop. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled when I inhaled a crucial dose of nicotine, and my fists clenched with irritation. I needed to find this fucker before the fight with Ivan. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, leave Kloe exposed and under such a threat.
Robbie shook himself off, blinking up at me when I kicked his ankles and woke him. “Lazy fucker.” I grinned as I dropped onto the sofa beside him.
“What time is it?”
“Just gone midnight.”
“Shit.” He stretched, yawning, and rolling his head around his neck. “Didn’t mean to sleep that long.”
I chuckled, understanding how tired we both were lately. Robbie had been having trouble sleeping, I knew why, but neither of us wanted to talk about it. Instead we bottled it up inside like we always did and let it ride.
“Kloe in bed?” he asked.
“I would imagine so; I’ve only just got in. You want a drink?”
He nodded, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. He looked worse for the nap, the greyness to his skin making his usual rough features appear even more menacing.
Gritting my teeth at the pain that shot through me, I pushed myself up and went to put the kettle on.
Red whimpered as soon as I opened the kitchen door, and scampered to my side, her cold nose burying into my hand. “What’s up, girl?”
She seemed on edge, her ears pricked high and the fur on the back of her neck stood rigid with alarm.