“My name’s Caroline.” A small hand covered mine. “And I’m helping to take care of you.”
I shuffled back at her touch, my body recoiling at the contact. Quickly, she removed her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“I, uhh, I can’t see you.”
She paused, but lowered her voice as if it would bolster my confidence. “Ahh. That’s okay. Then I can be your eyes until you can use your own.”
Once again she rested her hand on mine. It scalded me, my skin screaming at her contact. My breathing stuttered and I choked on a cry.
“It’s okay,” Caroline urged hurriedly. “You’ve been through a lot. We have to get to know each other, but please, I am not going to hurt you. I’m here to help you, Miss Grant.”
“Kloe,” I choked out, forcing myself to concentrate on her words instead of the excruciating fear overwhelming me. My heart was beating so fast that I felt light-headed, and my skin felt clammy and too tight around my bones.
“I’m just going to do some checks, Kloe,” Caroline informed me as she moved around the room, my head following the sound of her trousers sweeping against her thighs. “I’ll try not to touch you as much as possible, but if I have to then I’ll tell you. Is that okay?”
I nodded, gulping. I couldn’t focus on anything but Caroline. Nausea lay heavy in my stomach and I dug my nails into my palms to stop myself from lashing out at the dark nothing in front of me.
Sounds I couldn’t register taunted my judgement, playing with each of my senses until I couldn’t distinguish between real and what my mind was making up, and I started to tremble.
“I’m by the window, Kloe,” Caroline said quietly. “And now I’m moving to the dresser to retrieve some things.”
“What things?” I snapped. Panic was threatening to overwhelm me and I was wrestling with the need to sink further into the headboard.
“I need to take your temperature. You were running a fever and I’d like to check that the medication did its job.”
I scrambled back when her voice became closer.
“Is that okay?” she asked softly, but I still jumped at the sound of her so close.
My lungs were becoming too stimulated as they tried to cope with the deep pull of oxygen. I sucked at air like it was a liquid substance, drawing breath before I had chance to release the last influx of air.
“Kloe,” Caroline urged gently. “You need to calm down. I’m not going to touch you, I promise. We can do this later.” Her voice moved away but I still couldn’t find a grip on anything tangible.
I reached out with my hands, trying to find something solid to outweigh the feeling of illusion, my mind overcompensating for what it couldn’t figure out.
Nothing broke contact. Nothing invaded my space. Yet I still couldn’t calm the anxiety engulfing me.
Reality blurred and dizziness began to take my consciousness. I gulped at nothing, fighting with the thickness in the air to fill my lungs with substance.
And then his hand rested on my cheek. His breath swept over my sticky forehead. His presence lulled the terror claiming me and instantly my body turned into him. Air charged into my lungs and I gasped at the sudden rush to my head. “Calm down, Kloe,” Anderson urged. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
I snatched at him, greedy for the feeling of safety his presence brought. “Anderson.” I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent and revelling in the feel of him.
He held me tight as I wept, his arms holding me so securely that my already damaged body screamed in agony. But I needed that pain. It grounded me. It gave my mind something other than the nothing to concentrate on.
“Caroline, please leave us,” Anderson ordered.
Caroline didn’t answer but I heard the door close. Anderson shifted on the bed, laying us both down, and his hand cupped the back of my head, drawing me in to him.
“You need to trust that I won’t let anyone in this house that would hurt you, Kloe. You’re safe here.”
My sobs died but I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t tell him I didn’t believe him. He had hurt me so many times that I still couldn’t trust what he told me. So many lies had built so many walls of doubt inside me and it would take more than a few small words to knock them down.
Yet there was a part of me that trusted only him. He was the only person that was capable of soothing the terror inside me, of quietening the raging noise in my head. He was the only one who could take my hand and lead me blindly to where he wanted me to go. And I would go. No matter how much it scared me. Because he carried my soul with him. He always had. Fate had brought us together, and fate would take us through to the end, whatever it had in store for us.